Thread 39 - Covid Cohort - Our Adult Children Now Post 18

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

Hi all busy day but DD went out for day with DH to a museum and got them to tag on pillows and duvet shopping at a local John Lewis. Was a success! Plus they cooked dinner together so starting to tick off things …

DD wants theme/ colour scheme DH is traumatised by the fact there needs to be a colour scheme 😂😂😂

@ZittiEBuoni glad you are starting to build a plan with vegan meal and driving lessons being big steps.

….everyone …. Did we have high backed teddy hug cushions from dunelm convo last year … DD saw them on an email ad on my phone and is liking but can’t remember if they were good or not?

@Fruitygal obviously there has to be a colour theme! DH doesn't understand it either. It meant that a good half hour was spent deciding on which mugs were to be bought...

Sounds promising Zitti, especially the driving lessons.

I am so angry. Tallinn weather is 13 degrees and raining. 13 friggin degrees. In work today it was 19 and sunny. I haven't been on holiday with my mum since I was 18, 30 years. I've been looking forward to this for months. September weather is always glorious as soon as the kids start school. So how come not now?

And you can't start choosing cushions until your duvet cover has arrived from Dunelm just in case they don't match/contrast in exactly the right way...

@Oblomov22 sorry to hear about the weather - utterly pants 🩲

@NCTDN colour schemes looks like she’s going with grey/ white with bright colour accents ….. 😂

You guys all have dc's the same age...I feel I need to as about sleep, as ds's tiredness worries me, is it normal to sleep a lot? Ds2 is getting up at 7am for work. He's home at 4.30pm and cannot stay awake once home. He's so tired. He was always the same after school once he got to about 13. Though had an extra hour in bed before school. After work he sleeps until I shout for dinner at 6pm. Then he usually goes back to sleep until about 8pm. Then he's wide awake for a while. Weekends he will sleep all day until 4pm. The need for so much sleep always worries me. He says it's normal. During lockdown he was sleeping up to 20 hours some days. He said it was just boredom. Goodness knows how he will cope with partying and getting up early for lectures etc. When we went to the open day at Sussex we left at 5.30am. By 2pm he'd had it. He was so tired. He just wanted to put his head down and sleep. He managed to stay awake until 7pm that day. Then slept until 8am the next day when I woke him as we had to leave our accommodation. But he wanted to sleep all day too. Perhaps I am worrying unnecessarily. I just wondered if anyone else has a dc the same. I worked dawn to dusk at his age, 7 days a week. I didn't get so tired. But then again, I didn't have a mobile phone to disturb me.

@Oblomov22 every time we go on holiday it rains. We only holiday in Uk. But it still rains.

Practising for the empty nest with DD on holiday until Wednesday, then away to uni on the Sunday. She’s gone with five of her six friends who went to Reading over the weekend, sixth friend having picked up a bug and is too ill to go with them. One of the ones who’s gone isn’t at all well either. Just hoping the rest of them don’t pick it up now, it’s crap as it is but particularly unfair on DD who didn’t even go to Reading.

We have entirely lost our utility room to her stuff, without clothes and toiletries. Not sure it’ll fit in her room, let alone the car to get it up there.

That does sound quite excessive @icanbewhatiwant . Ds sleeps till 1pm at weekends/in holidays but that’s because he’s up so late. Dd doesn’t need much sleep at all, she can burn the candle at both ends and usually does.

My sister was extremely tired like that and it ended up being pernicious anaemia so it’s worth getting him checked out.

Thanks for the new list. The breadth of the DC study/work choices is impressive. Hopefully an open, outward looking, creative, caring, innovative generation.

Oh loving the idea of a colour scheme. A friend with an older DS warned me though. I think DS is planning on taking his free sports direct mugs, which I shall encourage as they ugly, ridiculously large and fill the cupboard.

@Oblomov22 - we’re currently in Cape Verde. And it is raining so much I think we might need an ark soon. There are sandbags all around the hotel grounds trying to keep the rainwater out. It is warm though. This is what happens when I delegate holiday booking to DH. Apparently he didn’t realise it was the rainy season.

@icanbewhatiwant It sounds like a lot to me when I think of DS & his mates. Today I got him up at 7.30am to come with me to work. He's done physical work all day, now gone to play tennis and then they go on to do the pub quiz. In fact I can't remember DS having a sleep in the daytime. He will sleep in until late morning after a night out. They do say the blue light of screen can mess with your sleep or hormones? I would be getting him checked out.

icanbe surely that is excessive. Have you spoken to GP? Ds1 sleeps less than any of us. Hardly any he needs. I as a diabetic sleep a lot, but never feel rested, and could sleep 20 hours easily given the chance, but that's not uncommon for a medical condition.

Ds1 is the same @Icanbe.
He could sleep for England.
His ADHD specialist says he has severe ADHD, so he's constantly being over stimulated. So everyday life is just exhausting. At school he always used to nap, even sometimes in frees!
I've seen his eyes closing in lectures when I've been with him. I think it all became worse when he hit teenager time.

Plus his ADHD means he can't always switch off at night. DS goes to bed at @ 2am!
I'm also worried about D's getting up in time for lectures. DS also has melatonin which helps a bit but not much.

@Fruitygal both mine had the chair shape cushions, both are now residing in corners of their respective rooms no longer used

About ADHD, I’ve got 3 sufferers, lucky me!

all are mixed but presenting as ADD. DD was dead in the water, she used to look like your computer when it was buffering. Completely exhausted all the time which is why we missed her POTS for so long

DH and DS are carbon copies, DS couldn’t hold 2 instructions in his head at the same time, it took years to get him to remember to flush the toilet. Even on treatment his working memory is atrocious and he is still very easily distracted which is why he revised in the living room where I could keep him focused

Poor DH suffered from it never being recognised until the children had problems. The service said that as he Is holding down a job and still married they have other priorities

Both DC had the gold standard assessment where they interact with a computer that monitors their reaction. Their pattern was very similar with DS being most severe

I would say though that treatment has been life changing for them but I still spend a lot of my time organising them all

@icanbewhatiwant we’ve had the sleep thing. DD suddenly super sleepy asking to go to bed at 8.30pm. Sleeping after 20 mins in the car. Had some other symptoms so was fast tracked during covid 2020 as red flag but nothing obvious found then I insisted on B12 and Vit D.

eats a great balanced Diet with meat, dairy fish and veggies so should be high in b12 but low levels cause severe fatigue and was really low- still don’t know why - investigations ongoing but with injections much better … clubbing until 4am the other week!!

Go get blood tests before uni … thyroid, b12, Vit D and hbA1c ( diabetes one) see if there’s an easy fix x

Tomnooktoldmeto, DD has quite severe ADHD, and DH has had the same experience as your DH. He would love to get a diagnosis and try medication, and I’d love him to too - living with the pair of them is pretty stressful a lot of the time.
DD has recently been given melatonin, which works well for her; in my desperate peri meno insomniac state, I tried it but I still woke up numerous times.

@Fruitygal same colours here!

Do colour catcher sheets really work?

@NCTDN snap!

Ds who has ADHD is also very sleepy when he’s meant to be concentrating eg in lessons, in church etc. But is quite hyper otherwise.. But I reckon I also have ADD and I get the incredibly sleepy thing too, whenever I have to concentrate. It’s so frustrating!

Thanks for the new thread, dd loved her first day and has come back from London full of excitement, new friends and a new macbook on order! So pleased for her

That’s a lovely update chenin; she’s totally deserved a buzzing first day!

I think I have some ADHD traits and although my general sleep patterns are normal I can't stay awake in a meeting or lecture unless I am either actively taking part or writing notes. Doesn't matter how interesting it is. It can be quite embarrassing. Writing notes super-focuses me though, I did jury service and spent the entire two weeks writing down everything that was said in court, I could remember it all in great detail for years afterwards.