Thread 39 - Covid Cohort - Our Adult Children Now Post 18

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

Does everything come out wrinkly?

Lol DD’s home bedroom is pink and grey. Admittedly decorated when she was 15. She’s gone for green for uni.

I had some vacc bags but they lost their vacuum over time . Hopefully they’ve improved since and great for transporting.

I'm not sure @Piggywaspushed I did see a youtube video and the creases seemed to dissappear. I was worried for clothes but for Dd's bedding not so much.
It might depend how long they are in there ...I'll let you know on Wed 21st !

DS only gets £100/week during term time, so £4,200 pa.

I am feeling sorry for third years. It is tough for first years to have lots of Fresher stuff cancelled due to the period of mourning, but my third year had the tightest ever A level grades (2019), gap year decimated by Covid, started uni in 2020 when they were only allowed to mix with their bubble, all communal spaces closed, no chances to meet his cohort of medics other than in small group activities (and most 2020 starters didn't even get that!). Last year was better, but still on line. This year accommodation nightmares for students looking for private accommodation due to 15% increase in student numbers at St Andrews caused by grade inflation, exacerbated by landlords changing from student lets to AirBnB. And now the period of mourning hits their first "normal" year, which is also his last year there.

We all have our perspective on how Covid has impacted the people we know, but I think the 2022 starters will get a better university experience than the 2020 starters however bumpy things are at the start. So try not to worry too much about what they are going to miss in the first week or so. For some a gentler start might even be better!

I was worried about this too...hence why I've done them today .

The best vacuum bags: www.lakeland.co.uk/24144/lakeland-vacuum-clothes-and-duvet-storage-tote-bag-50l-underbed or similar. The outer bag
means even if the seal fails on the actual vacuum bag the stuff remains constrained. We have one in the loft where the seal has barely given at all, the bedding in it isn’t quite as rock hard as it first was, but is still very vacuumed!

I'm now wondering though what that bedding actually is, and whether DD could have had it rather than new 🧐

For some a gentler start might even be better! . This is so true.

Someone on WIWIKAU claiming they paid £7800 (accommodation and tuition??) and the DD 'might as well have stayed home' (which a simple search reveal to be, improbably, Australia) because 'everything' is online. First post on the site.Trip trap trip trap.

Well, the car is packed. We didn't bother with vacuum bags as the ones we've had in the past weren't very good (10+ years ago) but they have almost certainly improved. There are some bags on the back seat between the DCs but otherwise it's all fitted in the boot, minimal kitchen stuff because catered and no cushions, plants, rugs etc because DS just isn't interested. We had banked on being able to use the roof box if needed but have managed without.

I think your average boy needs fewer frills!

That said, DS1 has accumulated weights, a large TV monitor, and an exercise bike...

Eeek! Well for future pickup / dropoffs we won't all go so there will be some more space, then there is the roofbox.

Good luck to those going today . DS’s loan cover his accommodation, bus pass and a few hundred left for trips home if he wants them so we will do living money as we do for DD. She’s been on £200 a month for ages but that isn’t enough these days so I think we’ll do £300 each for them. DD has managed to save on that before.

I'm not sure @Piggywaspushed - when I collected all DSs stuff from his 2nd year house in July there wasn't even room for him in the car, just me! That's a qashqai so not small! Still doubting whether I'll get DH and DD in the car next weekend....

Thanks for that Adrian Chiles article. Insisting that every child is going to 'love it', when we already know most of our children will have a wobble and a phone call home at some point.
I doubt my ds1 will though. He's just unbothered by anything.

We haven't even started packing yet. I feel unlike everyone else which is a bit worrying. My 2 ds's survive on a phone, a shower gel and a toothbrush. Maybe I'm being too relaxed but I can't see that we need that much more, to buy. I do like seeing full cars and impressive Tetris packing though. Unlike others he's got hardly any stuff, is very minimalist. He doesn't want floor rugs and desk fairy lights. I suspect I'll have tonnes of car room. And I don't even need to vacuum pack duvets and stuff (although I could because we have plenty for our Dorset caravan)because it just isn't necessary.

He's going to go and stay with my mum for two days this week and then it's not until next Thursday that we need to go so we've actually got plenty of time.

Hmm, I think I have been thinking that DS will just take what he had at college but actually he'll want to take things like his computer this time rather than just lap top and there will be 3 of us in the car.

Might need to give this some proper thought! Been busy wrapping up old house and we have 2 more vans of things coming this week so hadn't really thought much about DS going.

Could I harness the power of the thread for exchange on our old house tomorrow please? Was supposed to be Friday and then one of the solicitors wasn't there and it didn't happen and I really need it to happen tomorrow for my sanity and I think our buyers are feeling the same. DS is 19 tomorrow so happy parents once we hopefully exchange would be a good present for him 😀

I’m googling storage for next summer! She certainly won’t be coming home with much less, though it guess some of the kitchen equipment may have walked by then. We’ve had a huge pile of boxes in the utility - I don’t want to drive it all home next summer to do the same, a load of it may as well stay local.

Fun fact one of the student storage deals costs more per week than my rent in second year of university.

oblomov, my DS also seems to think all he needs is a holiday style suitcase of t shirts and PJs, plus his computer. I’m trying to leave him to it. He can always get more stuff whilst he is there, plus we have a visit planned in October.

I’m in the ‘top up to full loan’ camp for finances.

I pack clothes and duvets into vacuum bags all the time to store in a large cupboard on our landing. They often loose the air over time, which obviously doesn't matter for packing for university as not in there long enough. I find they have a plasticy smell...again that doesn't matter for university packing as they won't be in there long enough. I have duvet etc in a huge one ready, but not sucked out the air yet.

@DontCallMeBaby I have one of those too...for our guest bedding. It is the only one to stay vacuumed. Even when we had no visitors for a year or so due to covid it stayed sucked in.

I've said on here before that ds1 had almost full loan and it was enough. So I'll top ds2 up to full loan as he won't get as much, also I notice the max loan has gone up from the £9,250 it used to be. I wonder whether minimum loan has gone up too. Ds2 will need more next year though..as I think the private rental market will be higher in Sussex than it was in Norwich.

@Oblomov22 ds2 is also unbothered by anything. I can't see him getting home sick. I think he will miss the dogs though.

Piggy I saw that re the £7800 already paid for online!

I also feel a bit guilty/concerned re money. I know we're all different here with different incomes, different children, different accommodation costs, so I know I can be honest with you lot. Dh refuses to give ds any more than he thinks is reasonable. I suspect we are giving ds the least out of anyone on this thread.

We are not huge earners and we basically spend what we earn, with a tiny amount tucked away for emergencies, so we don't have a huge amount of money spare. DS gets the minimum £4.5k and his accommodation costs located at Nottingham are 6.3k, difference £1.8. But that's only accommodation and food, no living costs. But as catered not too much more needed. Dh said he'd give him £250 per month, so £3k. Plus he has now got his screwfix job transferred to Nottingham so he gets quite a few hundred from that. DH says he would never let him go short of anything and he wants him to see how he gets on and if he has any money worries just let us know and we'll give him more if needed.

I think the DS1 feels like he's being really hard done to. But I explained that some parents paid the accommodation themselves, say £6k. and then left the children to live off the maintenance loan of 4.5 K. (Ds pointed out that those parents were paying £6k whereas his Uni was only costing us £3k, which I had to admit was true).

£4.5k maintenance - I appreciate it's only a nine month term (£500 per month) but if you did divide by 12 months it would only be £375 a month. (Dh recons he'll have more disposable income, more fun money than Dh!!)

For some people the 6K or ever they're paying for accommodation doesn't even include catered like it does for DS1 so they have food costs out of that £375 aswell!
which my son does not. so I tried to explain to him that giving him £250 to live off plus is Screwfix money I thought he was doing ok. but he seems to feel very aggrieved! maybe it's because many of his friends Here in Surrey live in humongous million pound mansions and he feels like the poor boy?

Good luck @Volterra 🍀

DH has told DS not to look for a job - or perhaps do things like guiding on Open Days. He wants him focused on studies and clubs and sport. We have paid accommodation (just over 5k) and he will live off bursary (1k) and minimum loan . Hopefully that will be enough.

Unfortunately, Christmas jobs at Boots begin too early for him to do that.

Happy 19th to your DS tomorrow Volterra, and to double celebrating exchange. You, Crazy, Piccolo all give me hope that there is a getting over the line at some point. Have my fingers crossed for you.

@Oblomov22 £3k pa should be fine as he is catered. I think most on here are getting around £100/week during term time self catered. If you split his £3k over the term time weeks or mid Sep to mid June it would be £76.92/week for 9 months of the year with no costs for food, so that should be fine. Maybe you should do £75/week for 40 weeks to make it look closer to what others are getting?

@Oblomov22 mine are getting £300 a month and need to get food out of it, phone and travel paid by us. We pay over the summer though so I am now thinking might be better to do £90 a week for 40 weeks reading this . With a 5 year gap I wasn’t expecting them to overlap .

@Oblomov22 my oldest had about £9k loan so after rent he had about £57 weekly when in private accommodation. That was for bills, fuel and food. He said it was enough, I did offer more. We paid for car insurance and mobile phone. He worked all summer full time. So had his wages too, but he saved the wages and used it for his USA trip and he's going to NZ in Jan. He did spend a fair bit of time at home in lockdowns, so I guess that made it easier. He still had to pay rent and bills. Ds2 won't get as much as ds1 for his loan.