Those June/July babies

[motherinferior]

Just wondered how everyone's getting on, having actually produced?

I'm absolutely knackered, and have very nasty tear which is giving me grief (I ripped into the muscle a bit) but am in much MUCH better shape than with dd2 - and dd1 is thoroughly enthusiastic. Mind you, dd2 is still asleep most of the time. I'm aware that the next few weeks and months are going to be, ahem, not the easiest, which is why I thought it might be worth keeping in touch...?

Jessi - I hardly left the house for the first two weeks - so quite normal.

Good luck with the breastfeeding - though I have given up now - I found the support on mumsnet invaluable and at least don't feel a failure that it didn't work out.

God yes, guilt - I know just what you mean about the TV! And that clockwatching for daddy to get in...I did manage to take both of them out this afternoon but then had distinctly guilt-inducing afternoon.

Jessi, do you think you might have blocked ducts? That's what I had, and it was inflaming - ie precursor to mastitis - which was why I had antibiotics. I'd get it checked if I were you.

Big advance for the day here is that I managed to try out my new expressing machine, and after a first false attempt was milking away successfully. Don't think it could replace night feeds (I'm like you, Jessi, I get huge and sore!) but the idea of not being continually chained to baby is amazing.

At least it was cooler today!

PS wobblymum and jessi both having crap time on breastfeeding thread. Told them the rest of us are just about hanging in there...

Hi Kaz. You sound much brighter IYKWIM . Glad to hear you are feeling more human again

Well, having managed the library twice I thought we should broaden our horizons and try for the park. Organised everything with military precision: stocked change bag with pullups for dd1, nappies for dd2, new wipes and a changing mat and sunscreen and spare babygro; bunged numerous snacks under the buggy; found cotton blanket to keep dd2 warm in the sudden chill; got half-way to the park, started breastfeeding on a bench while keeping dd1 amused by pointing at the lawnmower and indulging mutual sniggers about the tractor blowing grass out of its bottom; felt smug feeling of Oh I Can Do This, Just Call Me Supermum...and then realised I'd left the **ing change bag at home. Couldn't deal with the prospect of two overflowing bottoms and came home. dd1 (who'd carefully put the bag in our living room) waited till we were on the main, horribly busy road to pull up her frock and prance along semi-naked. I do hope she grows out of it in the next decade.

Sleep remains a distant memory.

Hi Motherinferior - I also had this vision of me as supermum, well behaved toddler following my every command, breast fed baby tucked under one arm....
Well that lasted about two days.. then I realised that it is a hard slog taking military like organisation.

If I get one good day then I treasure it and forget about the other s**t three days. I think even attempting to leave the house with the two of them , let alone suceeding is a triumph. I didn't even attempt that till DS2 was over a month and i can still count my solo days out with both of them on one hand.

DS2 is thriving - he is a long baby, already fitting into 3-6months baby grows and now he is smiling and cooing we are having long conversations. Haven't had him weighed yet since the midwifes signed him off - but he likes his food !! My 6-8 week check up and first injections are coming up on us - the day of his birth seems a million miles away.

And last night he slept from 8pm to 3.40am ( nearly 8 hours ).

Hang in there ladies, WE WILL SURVIVE

I know we will but I'm seriously wondering in what shape...bad night again. Think I'll post on sleep thread. Already on b/fing one. Inferiority rampant here!

Hello everyone. Well, the good news is that dd2 has, for the past 5 nights slept for at least 7 hours - the best night she managed was 9 hours. The bad news is that she has realised that it is fun to be awake all day and cry blood curdlingly loud for most of it. God is she loud. So that is a bit exhausting. dd1 has probably put on 2 stone in the last 4 weeks as all I do is thrust unhealthy goodies at her to keep her quiet. But I have managed to start going swimming again, leaving carseat at the side of the pool with a crowd of adoring biddies gazing at her and dripping water on her head. All you breast feeders - I salute you! I still wish so much that I had been able to do it You should all be proud of yourselves, it is a real achievement, allbeit a painful one!

Dahlia - DD2 is doing really well on the sleep front., even better than my DS2 ( his best is 8 hours ). Can't get him to sleep from 10pm to 7am though, which is what I am aiming for.. What hours is DD2 sleeping through ?

Our weekend was also madness with DS2 awake most of the day, unhappy unless clutched to someones shoulder..... we call him the limpet. Today the help came and DS1 and I have just a fab morning in the Natural History Musuem.

Motherinferior, Happyspider etc...- I also salute other breastfeeders suffering broken nights, painful nipples and soiled t-shirts..

THanks for the salutes, as it isn't always easy. Dahlia, how fab to be swimming again - I suspect my first outing in the car alone (thank heavens I passed that test, specially as it turned out to be FIVE DAYS before popping sprog) will be to the pool, as I've not been since early on in my pregnancy on account of the SPD. I used to swim a mile three times a week...

Nights getting faintly better by our standards, ie only feeding every 3-4 hours and no intermittent crying. TBH that's the most I can hope for at the moment. DD1 currently with childminder. But, alas, suspect I need to WAKE dd2 because otherwise she'll snooze through the day and not through the night. Oh bugger.

PamT - sorry, I've only just read this thread since coming out of hospital. It was a show, I rang the hospital and they said not to worry too much, it could still be days yet etc etc. So I went upstairs and woke DH who was mildly concerned but then we decided that there didn't seem to be much happening, so we went back to bed. I was literally just hefting meyself into bed when my waters broke. So I was on the loo for half an hour and DH had to ring the hospital again, who now understandably said come in ASAP.

After a good birth and a terrible stay in hospital (see "Strep B experience" in Health!) we're home and happy (apart from breastfeeding and sleep!).

Kaz33 - how is the feeding going? I'm breastfeeding at the moment but dd isn't putting on wieght very well so I'm topping her up with a bottle and it seems she's taking less and less from the breast and more and more from the bottle so it looks like we're heading towards bottles, even though I really did want to breastfeed (didn't realise how hard it was). I agree that breast is best but for me personally I just can't decide whether it would be better to struggle on with breastfeeding, hoping that it will pick up or just to switch, make it easier on everyone and be done with the whole thing.

I will feel really guilty if I stop now though, and although DH has been great and I know he'll support me whatever I do, I think he'll secretly be really disappointed too.

Has anyone managed to keep up mixed feeding for a long time - any advice on how this can be done successfully? If I could carry on mixed feeding, she'd get the benefits of bf and I could be a bit less stressed seeing a certain amount going in from the bottle every day.

WM - I mixed fed DD1 from the age of 3 months till about 10 months - bottles in the day, breast in the morning and evening. She gave up the evening and then the morning feeds of her own accord, too. Would a routine like that help you?

Wobblymum - it certainly is worth trying to mixed feed if that is what you want to do. I bottlefed DS1 from about 5 weeks after trying to mixed feed but with no support and no info. This time round my mixed feed has also not worked, mostly because DS1 did not react too well to DS2.

I think that the general advice is that breastfeeding has to be well established before you can mixed feed - which is meant to be about 6 weeks. I could be wrong and there may be people who have suceeded so early on. Ask on mumsnet - and see what people say.

You talk about guilt both yours and your DP's - my DP was disappointed that I did not breastfeed DS1, but now he doesn't care less I didn't and is not concerned that I am not with DS2. The most important thing is that you bond with your child, that they are loved and healthy. It is a tough decision and I totally understand you being torn between what is easiest for you ( bottle ) and what is best for your child ( breast ). However, it isn't that black and white - your sanity is important.

For me, breast feeding certainly helped DS2 fight off DS1's nasty cold that he had when DS2 was about 4 weeks old. Breast feeding and infact mixed feeding did not work out for me ( though I did try ) and I feel better and more in control bottle feeding. DS2 is thriving, mum is enjoying her boys and I've put it behind me and I'm concentrating on the sleep through the night issue.

Gosh that is rather long, but I'm trying to say - ask for advice on mixed feeding but if it doesn't work out it is not your fault - sometimes it just doesn't.

Kaz, dd2 has got into a routine of having a bottle at about 7.30-8.30 pm and then will take ages to fall asleep, usually at about 10pm. So she then wakes up around 2-3am. Which is a total bugger and nearly kills me. I don't know how to correct her timing because its like trying to wake the dead if she doesn't want to be woken. And like you say, it would be soooo much nicer if it was 11-7am kind of timing.

dahlia I've been wondering about the evenings - dd2 just comes ALIVE around the time Eastenders comes on..and I've just been letting her kick around, playing with babygym etc until I was ready to go to bed around 10.30 and take her with me then - and she generally sleeps through till 6 or 7am or dd1 wakes her up! do other mums have an evening routine they stick to even if baby has other ideas? I would occasionally like to eat at the same time as dh but I'm not sure if it'll be feasible to move bedtime forward by just a few minutes each night until it's BEFORE Eastenders (!)...am I building a rod for my own back, or whatever that phrase is?
glad everyone is ok. my breastfeeding is going great guns - even managed to express about half an ounce yesterday (just to see if I could) by hand - couldn't find avent pump from last time.

Hi all, just realized that this thread exists: fantastic idea! especially for first time mums like me.
I will take time to go through all the postings and see how is everybody doing.

My ds is 6 weeks old today and gave me his first smile!!! We've been through a lot of trouble to establish breastfeeding (Kaz33, I think if I had another child to look after like you I would have given up long time ago.....) and I have been through days where all my life revolved all around feeding him, hence I haven't had much time to post on mumsnet, even though I have been reading everybody's stories.
We are now a bit more settled, but we still have the odd day (and/or night) when he will make a point to stay awake and demand attention non stop!

Dahlia - we have the same timings and DS2 wakes up between 2-4am for a feed. Keep reminding myself that it wont be long before he is doing 7pm-7am. As we speak DS2 is in his cot, we are trying to get him into the habit of settling himself in it ( as he isn't very good at it ). After about 10 minutes of wailing it has gone quiet - so fingers crossed.

Bundle - with DS1 we made sure that he was tired and then just decided what time it was for him to go to bed ( about 7.30pm), put him in his cot and sat through about half an hour of crying. It took about 3 nights I think and we did it when he was 3-4 months.

Now doing it with DS2 and the poor mite is only 8 weeks old. Gosh bad mum, have to have the evenings or i think I would throttle them....

Happyspider - welcome,glad you tracked us down. Does that mean that you have cracked the breastfeeding ? Are you still supplementing with formula ? Well done for perservering..

We're struggling with Establishing Bed-time - putting her down (then, of course, getting her up again to feed her) but fitting it round another is difficult as well...DP particularly bad at taking her downstairs rather than staying in her room, and/or letting her settle herself (I'm harsher probably because I'm the one with the boobs). I think doing it in the early weeks is fine, although it does mean you don't get any evening to yourself for a while!

Babe was awake for a fair bit today, so here's hoping for tonight.

I am so glad the rest of you are finding this thread useful. I feel all proud and that I've managed to do something productive!

This thread is my lifeline at the moment! When I get the chance to actually sit down and look at it that is. Its just so nice knowing that there are others out there going through the same stuff that will offer support and advice or just make me laugh. Kaz, when does the 7pm-7am sleep pattern start then? I need something to look forward to.

I am still supplementing with the formula, according to my gp he's a very hungry baby, in fact I have started expressing my milk to know how much he is getting in total, and it is an awful lot.
On the other hand he's put on a lot of weight and he is now just average for his age, he was underweight when he was born, so I guess he's making up for it.
As for a routine, I have tried to start it many times, but because of this feeding frenzy he goes into very often, I have just to forget about it.

We're trying a simplified Gina Gord routine (I don't like the unedited edition) where we give him a bath at 5, feed him at 6...feed him again at 7 and at 8 and at 9. He keeps falling asleep on my breast, so at 10 he gets a bottle of formula and normally sleeps until 4AM, more feeding and then he will wake up at 7AM on the dot!

I am looking forward to cut out the 4AM feed..., having said that, dh takes care of the 4am feed with a bottle at week ends, so I can get a whole night sleep (bliss!)

I meant Gina Ford of coures.. doh!
PS well done motherinferior, brilliant idea...

Well, dd2 slept for SIX HOURS yesterday evening/night, but today is refusing to sleep except on my lap/in my arms, which is massive pain as I wanted to get a bit of kip myself. Shall go and watch Sunday's Six Feet Under instead, justifying it on the basis it's a cooler and cloudier day outside.

Bundle, I've bought a Medela pump this time round as I'm planning to express when I start work again in November (I work from home so don't have to deal with colleagues wondering who's making the vibrator-style noise in there!). Milko gushes out. Mind you I am a gushing type anyway (milk, that is ). Am also considering getting some of those cunning nipple shields to catch drips from the opposite booby, rather than just saturating breast pads or splurging embarrassingly onto my top.

Just call me Daisy...

Oh and Dahlia, dd1 started sleeping 7-7 at 3 months or so. And that was on breastmilk.

Whereabouts are you in Manchester, btw?

Dahlia - I think it was about 3/4 months when DS1 slept through.

I have put DS2 down in his cot twice today and he has gone to sleep - admittedly there was some noise but not excessive or for more than 15 minutes. Has to be said much more relaxed second time around.

Had a great morning - went to the library with BOTH OF THEM for storytime. We arrived, DS1 went straight for the toys and was fine amusing himself while I dealt with DS2. DS2 then had a mini sleep, lookeing around, listening to the noise while I spent sometime with DS1.
Very proud of both of my boys.

I set the morning up by asking DS1 if it was ok if DS2 came to storytime with us and then telling him that when we got there I would have to feed DS2 first before I could play with him.

I know I could be speaking to soon but DS1 does seem to be settling down.

Happyspider - I do admire your perserverance on the breast feeding.