Those June/July babies

[motherinferior]

Just wondered how everyone's getting on, having actually produced?

I'm absolutely knackered, and have very nasty tear which is giving me grief (I ripped into the muscle a bit) but am in much MUCH better shape than with dd2 - and dd1 is thoroughly enthusiastic. Mind you, dd2 is still asleep most of the time. I'm aware that the next few weeks and months are going to be, ahem, not the easiest, which is why I thought it might be worth keeping in touch...?

Oh glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels like the walls are closing in....DS1 is 23 months old.

This morning he totally lost it when his dad left for work, clinging on to his legs and throwing himself around the floor. After he left and I calmed him down I then spent the rest of the morning with a gripey baby attached to my shoulder repeating to DS1 - "mummy will play when she has got baby asleep, you are being very patient". The elusive sleep that never quite happended...

Dahlia - you made me laugh out loud, keep them coming.

Ok, did you hear the one about the mother whose highlight of the day was using the microwave?
Or howabout the mother who for the tenth time has happily made up 6 bottles of formula and then realised that she didn't sterilise the bottles?
Dh must think I have lost it completely - when he comes home from work I tell him in minute detail everything that dd2 has done, ie the time each bottle was consumed, the consistency and colour of her plop, and how loud she farted.
Is this living or what?

And just for the record Kaz, I think you are a superstar - a 23 month old and a newborn, wow! I have nothing but respect. I am finding it hard and I have a 7 year old who can actually help me with stuff.

Just eavesdropping on this thread and wanted to say eeeeeeeeeek, scary! Dahlia, you are making me laugh too and Kaz33, that sounds tough that age gap, the crying in the middle of the park and all. Motherinferior, hope your trip out was a sucess if you managed it. Anyway, well done, hang on in there all of you and best wishes

Oh thank god, it's not just me! DP came in this evening and I started telling him the minutiae of our day and he had to stop me to ask 'but how are YOU'... Kaz, much respect from me too - the 7 months' difference is HUGE, although I'm secretly also rather glad we've held off potty training dd1 till the summer and now till after new baby, because at least when she did massive poo in the library while I was feeding dd2 she could run around (with me secretly terrified her nappy would sink to her knees, as has been known)...at least the library outing was perfectly OK, rather than the agonising adventure I'd envisaged (last time round I don't think I'd got out of the house by this stage! OK it was Feb, but I'd also had a long and horrible labour and felt still, at this stage, as if I'd been kicked in the stomach by a horse. Whereas I now resemble - resemble, you note - a human being).

Dahlia (oh, I love Manchester. Lived there only briefly but have had 2 boyfriends based there. Would love to move there, which is theoretically possible for me as a freelancer, but isn't feasible for dp, alas - and I do, really, have to be able to get into London for meetings), m/wife suggested seizing that moment between feed and kip to do things like put her under her babygym - and get under WITH her, as she's not been too chuffed with it so far - and/or in her bouncy chair. I have to admit this hasn't been too much of a success so far, but she is starting to clock the world around her rather more (difficult not to, when a large older sister is literally in your face) so there is, again theoretically, hope that one day in about 10 years' time she'll realise a difference between day and night.

I'm afraid my swearing has always been on tap. I just hope dd2's first words aren't 'stop crying PLEASE, you wretched child'...

Well, not that much of a superstar - we are about to invest in some part time help for the newborn.

I am going to have to go back to work and really want to enjoy my time off and not be a stressed mess and not be desperate to go back to work. DS1 is despite his tantrums fascinating at the moment as he is really discovering language - i want to get to know him better, the cry of a mum working full time.

Motherinferior - my friend has a 3 year old and a 4 month old and is does seem easier than my two, mainly because her daughters reasoning seems better. Though I have discovered that when DS1 is bawling for no reason if I ask him if something is wrong he says "no" grudingly, if I follow it with a "why are you crying, then ?" - the logic halts him in his tracks long enough for me to distract him. Actually, quite proud of his reasonableness !!!

Dahlia - our nanny used to annoy us when we came home from work and we got a blow by blow list of the day before we had taken off our coats - yep, I have become that person. At least DP can tell me to shut up...

Ps: Motherinferior - what about the early hours of the morning ??

Girls, I am currently reading through this thread and giggling, although no doubt in a few weeks I will be laughing through my tears, as I will have a newborn and a 17 month old! Crikey! Reading all this gives me an idea of what I am letting myself in for!

Hi guys first time in about a week i have actually managed to get onto Mumsnet and i've only got one baby to look after. DH is being fab, and thankfully after a very rocky start b/f is now going well. Today is a good day so no swearing or crying but of to see i-l's so may all change as P-I-L smokes and the smell of cigarette smoke reduces me to tears - rational, i think not!
anyway thanks to Motherinferior for setting this thread up and lets keep it going.

AliP, do you mean that the smell upsets you because you hate it or because you are dying for a fag? I can relate to that, and unfortunately
the other day I lapsed after a particularly stressful day and got stuck into the silk cut.
ps. Motherinferior, when I read your post about the library, I thought at first you had a library in your house, and was extremely impressed.

Neen99 - if you can afford it get some HELP.

We have just found someone to help with our newborn for a couple of months. Her first day is tommorow !!
Hurrah, already feel so much lighter and confident.

DSHe picked up DS2 and he smiled for the first time, as if to say at last someone who knows what they are doing !!!

Yep, I'm with Kaz on this one - we're keeping childminding going 3 days a week (as opposed to the usual 4) for dd1 - apart from this week, when childminder's away (AAAAARGH)and I think that's going to be a lifesaver.

A library, Dahlia? Ooooh, I wish. Although in fact our house is so very booklined that giving birth in a waterpool in our front room did feel a bit like being in a particularly surreal one (maybe that was the gas and air, though - now, THAT's an intoxicant I wouldn't mind having around on a regular basis, I have to say).

3am is quite often a wailfest in our lovely home, Kaz - first her, then me. Last night, in a glorious variation, all three females in our house were in tears at around 9pm - dd2 was crying, dd1 was whingeing in her room, and I was cowering beside dd2 sobbing incontrollably. Particularly as I'd developed a vile sore red patch on one of my boobs. Then, however, dd2 had mercy on us and actually slept from around 10pm (after wailing, feeding, feeding, wailing, feeding, wailing, etc for several hours) till 4am, which of course seems like an unspeakable luxury to people in our situation. And I've now got more antibiotics for the boobs (I don't usually like them, and now have subjected body to two lots in three weeks!) and feel considerably better, since today's been really quite chilled-out and dd1 and her dad have spent all afternoon in the garden. DP points out part of the evening problem is eating, and that we really have to get more food down us earlier...does this justify the chocolate I've been consuming, do you think?

Am I the only person convinced everyone else is doing this better than her? Both this time and last time I'm sure everyone else's baby sleeps far more, and is generally far more amenable, and that they don't end up in despairing tears quite frequently, and/or at their partner's throat (dp and I find ourselves glaring at each other with sullen resentment, which we really don't do except during the first months of a baby's birth). Tell me, am I alone?

Haven't smoked anything for ages, can't remember how long, but will confess to drinking ahem slightly more than a breastfeeding lady really should.

Motherinferior - your dd2 is less than 3 weeks old ??

DS2 is now 6 weeks old - its amazing what difference those 3 weeks make. DP and I were totally out of sorts in the first few weeks and argued lots and had no strategy for dealing with night feeds etc.... We are now at peace and are dealing with him and each other a lot better. I can't remember being so in control last time.

Hey, great news - first smile today and lots of cooing noises in response to his mums smile. Also just spent some good time with DS1 and realised how unintentionally I had been neglecting him and am now overloading him with love and cuddles !!

Ooh, I can't wait for the first smile, it makes it all seem worthwhile!
MotherInf - I totally feel that everyone else is doing better than me - and yesterday dh and both suggested leaving home as we both felt like sh*t and had fallen out and dd2 wouldn't settle after god knows how many bottles. Suffice to say she had a fab night last night and dh and I made up and everything is ok again.
Until the next time......

Well, I've escaped to the computer for FIVE MINUTES' PEACE PLEASE!!! One day down of this week with both little darlings - christalmighty how am I going to deal with THREE weeks in September...appear also to have spent all day cooking stuff/clearing away, when not trogging around with both of them in local shops and/or breastfeeding while bellowing DON'T. Even found myself whizzing up pasta sauce for our supper, as I'd agreed to in slight guilt about dp doing everything.

Kaz, how wonderful about the smile; and Dahlia, glad to know today has been feasible! Yep, she's less than 3 weeks, and at 6 weeks I hope things might sort out a bit - and going by last time, at 3 months they really should (but as everyone grimly warns, Every Baby Is Different).

Must go and eat that sauce, if pasta is cooked - idea is we eat earlier rather than let it drift on till god knows when and blood sugar plummets. Which is fine in theory but means the domestic treadmill is even worse in practice, at least in the short term. Having said which, food might distinctly lift my spirits!

She slept 7 HOURS last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God, how blissful. I daresay its a one-off but it was wonderful.
Isn't it scary being this hot outside? Just walking to school with the pram is enough to make her boiling hot.

I hate you, Dahlia! You obviously got the good night, we got the bad one - on/off/on the breast all night, combined with refusing to take it, searching for it pathetically (it's in your MOUTH, moron, chomp down)...but lovely friend has taken dd1 off with her own little girl now so I can, I hope, sleep and/or have moments as Human Being.

Heat is horrifying with them, isn't it. We took dd2 to be registered and get a birth certificate yesterday, and the walk through the park was awful - I got quite worried for dd1, who was stomping along like a trouper.

Should really apply for child benefit now but will take that break instead...

Sorry Motherinferior - I also got 7 hours last night, admittedly it was from 7.30pm to 2.30am but its a start.
Motherinferior I do admire you for breastfeeding, i am now totally bottle feeding which obviously helps them sleep at night.

Our new help has started and she looked after the baby on Monday and Tuesday - it was great, DS1 behaviour has improved no end and we had a couple of great mornings doing his normal routine. I feel human again and remember why being a mum is GREAT.

Where are all the other new mums? Happyspider etc..., are we the only sad ones who get on the internet when we do get a spare minute....

I know, do you think we should email them and ask them to join us?

Thank you for being supportive on the b/feeding. It is hard, sometimes.

Hello
It is impossible to get on line , I hope everyone is coping well especially in this heat.
I can't believe how often ds feeds, also dd is really cheeky to me when I'm feeding him. I know it's for attention and she needs to feel secure but it has been driving me mad. Having kids is a big guilt trip She is happy watching tv but then I feel she is watching too much ! When dh is at work it is pretty impossible to keep them both happy. Things will get better

Hi Colette - this heat is a killer, especially if you have to entertain a toddler as well as look after a baby. How old is your DD, as you can see a few of us have been having the jealousy thing. With my DS1 I think it is more confusion than jealousy.

Again, respect for breastfeeding - I managed to about 5 weeks and then just crumbled in the light of DS1s tantrums. Does make it harder, especially if like me you love your sleep.

I'm here too! Just been on the phone to the midwife as having trouble with 5 day old dd fighting my left boob. It got absolutely massive and hurt like hell for 24 hours then she drained it in one, tonight thank god. Been quite stressed about feeding since my milk came in the day before yesterday. There is so much it seems and they really are so big and hard and uncomfortable. Luckily for me I had a nightmare feeding ds before so I was well prepared for any problems this time. Fingers crossed she won't take offence to left boob again.. as I type this right one is just getting sore..ARGHHH! When do they stop hurting so much? I can't remember!
Other than that she has been getting very overheated and red and I am willing bad weather on britain at the moment.Ds is pulling at my heartstrings every day-had the hormonal let down yesterday and cried buckets over him which is silly really as he is doing OK considering.I agree with you Colette about the guilt trip! Still haven't managed more than a few hours sleep at night but am coping somehow thanks to amazing dh.Better go as she has woken up but hope to talk more soon.

Jessi maybe you could hold her on the same side on your left boob as your right boob... i.e. her head in the same direction... meaning one side in a rugby hold... Do you understand what I mean ?

Welcome Jessi, DS2 just fed and won't go back to sleep and its 3 oclock in the morning. Aaargh, so thought I would catch up on mumsnet.

Hi Pupuce, yes I did try that and its marginally better in the rugby position. After mumsnet last night though I had a bath and noticed big red blotches all over both boobs. I couldn't remember exactly what to do so I just used hot flannels and expressed some milk off, which relieved the pressure a little bit. I am shortly off on mine and dd's first outing-Breastfeeding drop in centre and have just had a tutorial on how to use the new pushchair from dh. For some reason I am quite scared of going out on my own with her, did anyone else feel this after their 2nd?!!
Hope you got some rest Kaz33.