The Golden Rules of Parenting

[JustineMumsnet]

What would yours be? (We are just mulling this in the office) Mine would be not to say: No, NO NOO, oh alright then...

Don't sweat the small stuff

Choose your battles carefully

Only choose battles you can win. That EXCLUDES food and drink, toilet issues, anything to do with school or homework

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Respect your children.

Have fun.

That about covers it for me.

mathanxiety there is nothing wrong with crying in front of your children. There is nothing wrong with crying full stop.

Be consistant

Never leave the phone in reach of your 6 month old baby, they will call 999.

"Don't say 'no' without being able to explain why. You're a teacher, not a tyrant."

I desagree with that one for some reason, sometimes I think children just needs to learn to stop doing something just because their parents tell them so.

Just to clarify, by crying I don't mean breaking down and sobbing uncontrolably, I just mean shedding a few tears and being able to explain why to your child if they ask. And I don;t mean crying because of them.

I agree a child needs to know you are in control, but they also need to know you are human and have emotions.

Teach them how to spell "consistent" correctly?![pedantic smile]

Don't be afraid to rock the boat in order to protect them.

I am only 16 months into the adventure of being a parent to a baby and my rule would be:
things change all the time so don't get too hung up on rules because they will need to change.

I have however looked after 2 teenaged stepdaughters for the last few years and my rule in parenting teenagers would be:
they CAN be expected to behave themselves like responsible and considerate people. Don't expect them to behave like a "typical teenager", it isn't inevitable and if you completely expect (and model) decent, kind and sensible behaviour then that is what will happen.

Well, I'm just getting started but I already cling to the following truths:

From day one a baby is a little person with preferences, who may not like being enthusiastically whacked on the head loved by her cousin, for example, and

My baby is different from your baby but this does not mean there is anything wrong with either my baby or your baby. This rule may also be expressed as Borrow a Bumbo Before You Buy, and

Cuddle first, wipe/pick them all up/launder/call a builder as applicable later.

Either cave in straight away or not at all.

Don't forget to play with them.

Don't download any apps that will appeal to them on your iphone

If you never let them snuggle up in your bed you are really missing out.

They can load the dishwasher, wipe the table, put their clothes away, feed the dog, get breakfast ready, tidy the toys, but they'll only do it if you show them how.

oh and:
cuddle the baby all the time

Use every opportunity possible to embarrass them in public

One of my Golden Rules is the opposite of most people's I think. DO fight the little battles, don't "choose your battles". IME, if you fight the little battles, there are fewer big battles. i.e. pick up on small instances of bad behaviour, every time... don't let it pass.

Not sure if this works for all children but it does seem to with ours.

Another golden rule. Never lie to them. Ever. Even on trivia. so then I can say to them, "look, you know I don't lie to you..." and they trust me.

Another one. Apologise when you have overreacted or got it wrong.

You can lose the battle but win the war - let little things pass then it seems to have more effect for the bigger things if I'm not battling with them so often.

My one and only golden rule is "NO corporal punishment".

Everything else is negotiable.

LadyBlaBlah yes I think this builds character and reminds them your human too! Love dancing in at the school disco!

Yes I know I'm predictable, but as usual,

I Agree With LeQueen!!!!

Laugh with them
Be clear and consistent with boundaries
Never miss an opportunity to hug them and tell them how special they are and how much you love them
Make sure they get enough sleep
Feed them good food

The biggest rule here is probably sleep. Lack of sleep infiltrates everything, especially children's behaviour, so its the one thing we are fervent about.

I agree with Fennel re fighting the small battles.

And don't lie to them. And chat to them a lot.

Take time off your children. They need it too.

Only allow sleepovers when you are feeling very strong.

When they are screaming in the trolley in Tescos, remember that one day they will be old enough to go to school, and you will be able to wander round the supermarket on your own.

Encourage them to earn their own money when they are old enough. If they buy plastic tat that breaks as soon as it is out of the packaging, this is a good Life Lesson.

Even strapping teenage boys who are taller than you still need cuddles from their Mum.

Walk as much as possible & chat to your children.

Have the patience and allow time to teach your children the small stuff. If I let DH have his way our DS wouldn't be able to get his socks on or put plates in the dishwasher. He is very close to doing his shoe laces Next week I hope he'll cook Tea
DH's Dad and my Gran are the 'Get away and let me do it properly' type! Then wonder why kids are useless!

they are only little for a little bit.

playing with them for 10 minutes is more important than 10 minute of housework.

ignore the bad praise the good. really really works.