Do mum's prefer sons?

[emilytankengine]

A few things have happened in my life and recently that makes me wonder??

Purpleduck my mil is the same. She actually blamed posh spice when Beckham had his alleged affair
She fusses around my fil and he is always right.
Now that her eldest son is going through a divorce (for the 4th time!!!) she blames his wife entirely.
Likewise her 2 dds had to do the dishes, clean up etc while sons sat around.

Yep, sounds like my mum. My bro is getting a divorce, and it is all ex-sil's fault.

My mum did.

My bro and his 1st had 4 dc together. My mum blamed her for getting herself pg each time. WTF???

Got 2nd gf pg and guess what? All her fault too.

Apparently has another gf (who is half his age) pg and again all her fault.

But he has gone back to 2nd gf. Still lives with my mum tho and goes to visit gf.

What a catch eh?

aGal- that's quite some skill your brother has, meeting all these women who are able to replicate asexually.

I wanted a girl, never considered that dd could be a boy....she was the first female born in 50 yrs on his side and his mother was horrified that I was sullying the macho line.

I know!! He interestingly has gone for yes women like my mother.
He is only 36 and i dread to think how many other women he may impregnate by the time he's done

I did warn the 2nd gf about him but she obviously didn't listen,silly bint.

This is interesting. I don't think my parents ever showed more affection for my brother or me.

My MIL on the other hand seems to have a soft spot for SIL. She always tells me how mothers are always so much closer to daughters. Its very strange, they really baby her, buy her loads of things they refused to buy dp and both PIL go on about how much 'closer' they are to her than DP in front of him. He finds this very hard sometimes. I don't know if it is because she is younger (by four years), a girl or because she was 'planned' but its all a bit

I do but then I've only got the one and I was relieved not to have to deal with pink!

What really fucking annoys me is the way that my db's dc are automatically favourites by assocation and

My mum babysits for weeks at a time (during long hols etc) and now only visits us once a fortnight for an hour or 2 on a weekday when the ds's are at school.

This has destroyed any feelings i had for my family and ruined any relationship my dc would have had with her.

My mum always favoured my younger brother. He got away with loads and I didn't. They took out loans for him which he never repaid. I've always repaid even a £1 that I've owed them and have only ever borrowed from Dad twice. I currently owe him £2k and he never mentions it, but knows that I find that a priority.
Dad is terminally ill now and after the initial extra phone calls my brother made to them, he is back to not bothering much, whereas I am always phoning(as usual)and am round there often(3~5 times a week), I do all there shopping and errands, running around etc...they(especially mum)now realise who is the best.

I don't favour either of my two. There is an 8 year gap between them and my expectations are different for the two of them. I hope they are equally good to me in my old age.

their shopping.

Thats tough for you chocolate. I used to run around after my mum (has been ill for years) but have made myself stop. I couldn't cope emotionally anymore.

I know when she gets ill again my dad and bro will not bother to call the doc or look after her but she made har choice imo.

I cope with it better now thta i have distanced myself from the 3 of them.

aGal that worries me too Dp never mentions the favouritism to them or calls them up on things but I couldn't stand it and stay quiet if sil's children get favoured over mine. I can't imagine this yet though as ds is the only grandchild on both sides so gets spoilt rotten by everyone so far.

My ds1 (now 17.6) was the PFB on my side and was the favourite obviously being the only one.

As soon as db started having his dc it all went tits up.

My ds's have no time for my parents now and the dd's will eventually figure it out too.

We did have a massive fall out 2 New Years ago and i no longer see my bro or his dc which i am very sad about. But i no longer have the stress of bailing him out or having to listen to endless stories of how perfect him and his dc are.

It seems that by and large this a a generation thing then?

I think my mothers prefence for boys hurt me far more than my friends comments about DS finally arriving.

Sadly I can remember my elder DD accusing me of preferring DS because he was a boy. It later transpired that it was "other people" preferring him to the girls rather than me.

I'm sure a lot of women who have more than one child of the same sex get annoyed with comments that assume they want a 3rd child becaause they're trying for the other sex.

Emily, I think you are right that it's partly a generational thing. Was very obvious when I was a small child in the 70s, even though I had no brothers so didn't affect me personally. My grandparents said openly my younger sister 'should have been a boy', other adults clearly preferred boys, it was apparent that boys were favoured by society at large - in books/on TV/everywhere you could see that boys were routinely treated as more important. You'd overhear people commiserating with women who had newborn girls and reassuring the dad that they could try for a boy next time...

I have one ds so obviously I prefer him to the rest of the whole wide world. But if I was ever lucky enough to have another, I'd defy anyone to treat her as second best.

This brings us back to another thread recently - how boys and young men are demonised in the press etc and everyone is always gong on about their behaviour and comparatively poor exam results etc. If anything our society is more pro girl at the moment I think...

maybe it goes in cycles? or will from this point in time?

Good God, my Mother does, yes [bitter twisted icon] .

The sun shines from golden boy and despite being a total nob at times, and being married to an utter witch, they can do no wrong.

She goes all girly when he is on the phone.

SuziSeis - that's quite sad - you think that your other children don't realise, but they will. Children are very perceptive. Not trying to be horrible here, but my Mum always does a stirling job of pretending to love us both the same but it is blatantly obvious to anyone half perceptive and it can be quite damaging to the old ego.

i LOVE them equally, but my son is more cuddly and cute and lets me cuddle him. Doesn't mean i love my dd less. I'd like if she were a bit more affectionate to ME!!

A lot of mums like their girls though don't they?

I always find it odd that so many women express a preference for girls and are disappointed if they have boys.

It does cut both ways, I really believe that.

My mother, who had two younger brothers was made to feel very much second best by her Edwardian grandmother and great aunts. And her father, although I think her mother was supportive as far as she was able. As a result, I and my two sisters were very much brought up to believe that we had just as much to offer as any man, and not to take any crap of this sort from anyone. She was also fairly cool to various nephews when I was growing up. As a grandmother to grandsons, she has mellowed a lot (thank goodness), and is even quite protective of one of my nephews, who has mild sn.

After this upbringing, I was not at all sure how I would cope with a boy (I knew from 16 weeks, having had an amnio). Naturally, I adored my ds from day one. Haven't a daughter to compare with, but am sure I would have appreciated one just as much.

Adore my DD, always thought I'd find a girl harder 'cos I generally prefer males, but DD and I are tight

My mums parents were a little over happy when the had a son and she felt really rejected from it. Funny thing is, she did the same thing with me. That's the cycle though, right? I freaked out a bit when I had DD for that reason, but then made a conscious decision that the bullshit ends here. That there's no goddamned reason why mothers and daughters can't have loving, respectful friendships, and I was going to try hard to maintain one. So far, it's all going to plan. Slightly dreading teen years though...

my mum did..and still does
She says that she expects her daughters just to get on with things 'because they are women'. She ran (and continues to run around after her youngest son) like a blue-arsed fly. She still does loads for the other boys.I think she loves to be so 'needed' by them..and they in turn are very needy. She also says that she would have brought up 10 boys to each of her 2 girls because they were so much easier.

All the boys are very emotionally dependent on her..they also worship the ground she walks on.There is a bond there that i don't see with my sister or myself

I have one of each gender. My boy is by far my most challenging child as far as parenting goes....but then he also has sn. My girl (nt) is easier...but is quite errrm feisty ...I'm guessing she will be hard work (as i was) as a teenager.

i prefer neither...they are both utterly lovely