Do mum's prefer sons?

[emilytankengine]

A few things have happened in my life and recently that makes me wonder??

I love mine all the same ...They have different personalities ...gender never has and never will be an issue...sorry don't understand how it can

I remember my mum telling me she preferred my brother once when I was about 14. I was terribly upset and angry with her and it get resolved for a long time. Now, I think both my parents love us both but in different ways. My brother is younger and I think they baby him and he needs them more whereas I think they are proud of me but feel less needed.

I have a daughter and then a son with the same age gap as me and my DB. I was terribly worried everyone would lose interest in my lovely DD when a DS arrived and I was a bit anti boys for that reason. Now, I just see that all our families love them both and appreciate them equally for their differences. It has kind of laid a few ghosts for me really, seeing it from a different perspective.

I've got one of each DS is 5 and DD nearly 3...must admit i do have a special bond with DS and DD is a real daddy's girl

BUT

how many threads do u read on the pregnancy page where people are disappointed when they find out what they're having????? i'd say 9 out of 10 of those ppl are having boys

People often do have firm ideas about preferring boys or girls, or whether they would 'cope' better with girls or boys.

But when you have a child, that's when you straighten out your head and realise that all children are fabulous regardless of sex.

And if you don't straighten out your head at that point, you are a bit bonkers

my mum did - I always wondered if it was because there is an element of competition with daughters that isn't there with sons, especially if the mum has low self-esteem ishoos (mine did)

i have six and love them ll the same

I am super soppy over one dc (secretly) but that is because he was result of fertility issues

not closer to sons than dd though - all the same

allowing for human nature mums may indeed 'get on' better with one dc

in my personal experience - no, I cant think of anyone that does.

But I know a few ppl who have 'younger sibling issues' eg they were a younger sibling themselves always picked on by their older siblings - fast forward years and they tend to 'side' with their youngest and always perceive their oldest to be in the wrong.

I definitely love DD3 the most at the moment, that's because she cannot talk

My Granny has always openly favoured boys. She had my mum then my uncle and he was treated like a little prince (and is now a deeply unpleasant shit of a man). I had the first grandchild (dd) then my sister had a son and Granny thanked her for giving her a great-mgrandson .

The dreadful thing is that when I had ds I could feel myself going the same way. I fell head over heels in love and started shutting out poor dd. I love dd to bits but if I am brutally honest I feel differently about ds. It's not that I love him more but he is my golden boy. I hope that the fact I'm very aware of how I feel and try really hard to treat both children the same means I won't project any of this on to the pair of them. My mum has so many unresolved issues about her chilhood and I'd hate to make the same ballsup as my granny.

sk because aren't they just soooooo squashy atm!!!

I have three girls, two boys, and I honestly cannot choose between them.

If I were to have another baby tho, and could choose, I would opt for a girl. simply because I find them easier and probably also because of my upbringing..............altho at the moment with the hormones etc, girls can be very horrid!

I seriously could never ever say that I prefer one child over another tho......and find is sad when a mother would say so

my mum loathed girls

her favourite daughter was the one that looked like a boy

Not in our family from what I can gater.

I hate favouritism of any ilk TBH. Favouritism concerning children and grandchilden is horrible really, and very little good can come of it.

suzi, that is so sad

I love all mine the same.

the one who does have a special place would be DS1, but only because he fought so hard to be here (was a twin pregnancy, lost his twin, then almost him in a car accident that almost killed us both!!)

other than that tho............I just could never ever choose, and serioulsyhope none of mine ever would state that I have favourites.

awww but

the evil bint is welcome to the evil sister

Blimey. Awful to have a favourite of any kind.
I think people sometimes feel that their sibling was the favourite, but for a parent to openly say so is pure evil. It must have serious consequences for the child.
How would they feel if their boss told them that a collegue was their fave and would be receiving a bigger pay rise for no other reason than they liked them the best!

DH's mum prefers her four daughters without a doubt - in fact the sun shines out of their backsides.

i had an very deep-seated feeling that i only wanted a girl. in fact i was terrified of having a boy. i can't say why i felt that way, i have lovely brothers and lots of lovely male friends as well as female. but needless to say i had a son first, and later a daughter. i definitely find i 'get' her much more than him, but i love them both the same.

I grew up with sister and girl cousins, went to girls school, sister has 3 girls, most of my friends that have more than one child have at least 1 girl.

It never occurred to me that I would have anything other than a girl. Little boys make me feel out of my comfort zone, I am not used to being around them and I hate doing lots of the things they like doing, it worries me that I am not going to be able to support them properly.

When I discovered I was having a boy it just made me feel like a failure, like I have fallen into some sort of weird parallel universe. It hasn't been helped that I am the only person I know of all my friends and family that has managed to have just boys.

I now have 2 ds, both of whom I love dearly. BUT - and it is a big but - Chances are that I won't have another baby and will never get the little girl that I had grown up assuming I would have. Whilst I love my boys, I hate the fact that I don't have a girl and have boys instead IYSWIM. Not sure what's worse, that or the guilt that I feel about feeling that.

My mother certainly preferred her son, and her mother blatantly and openly preferred her own son too. We are a very damaged family because of it.

I had a DD then 3x DSs and at various times in their lives I've preferred one over the other, just because of the dynamics at the time. I get DS2 more than the others but I wouldn't go so far as to say he is my favourite.

I went on to have a late DD2 and at the moment she is the love of my life, because she is only 2. I'm sure it will pass.

My oddball extended family said how sorry they felt when I had my dd.
Sons are seen as being the bees knees in their eyes and were favoured over the girls. I can't be doing with that.

My mum prefers her son.

But then their personalities are much more smiliar, they understand each other.

And I was always daddy's girl...

My mum preferred and still prefers my brother to me. I am not making the same mistakes as her.

I have 2 of each sex.

I don't know. I think my brother has always felt I was preferred child. I always thought my younger brother was the preferred child.

I have 2 boys so I kinda have to prefer boys. I would love a little girl but am now too old for sleepless nights etc and also I am unsure how I would cope with the "teenage years".