Do mum's prefer sons?

[emilytankengine]

A few things have happened in my life and recently that makes me wonder??

I have a 7 month of DD and worry a lot about our relationship because my relationship with my mother is so cold. She has always favoured my brother and has always been very jealous of me in a very petty way. I now know that her marriage went through some really rocky patches and I was very close to my dad and I think she was jealous of that. My Dad died 4 years ago and I really miss having a loving parent who would give me a hug. I've been through some tough times, but mum never hugs me and the most I get is her cheek to kiss. I know she pereceives me as stubborn and independent, but I feel she doesn't know me at all. My Dad showed very little respect for my Mum when I was growing up and I was always expected to do better than her which must have been hard.

I would love a close relationship with my daughter, but know I am a lot like my mother. I just think as a praent I want my child to feel secure and relaxed with me. When she was CHristened recently we gave my daughter 4 godmothers!!! This is partly as I really want to make sure she has lots of positive role models as she grows up and examples of people that like her mother as I'm scared what my mother might say to her when she is older. (My mum used to frequently tell my brother she liked him best - which he found upsetting as we are very close. SHe also once told a the daughter of her friend who wwas just 15 that her mum was having an affair. This was true but that poor girl knew about it before her dad. Think my mum was jealous of her friend's relationship with her daughter and successfully damaged it. Luckily they are close again now, but treat my mum with suspicion - understandably)

Sorry for the rant this thread has obviously hit a nerve!

I have 2 dd's and I love having girls. Don't think I could handle a boy - they seem so much busier / naughtier to me?

Hubbie was a bit dissapointed at first when no 2 was also a girl but she is the most adorable little thing that everyone loves her.

My eldest is the more responsible and looks after her little sister so well - I depend on her, so my feelings for them both are different. There is a 4.5 years age difference between them.

My mil has a boy (my dh) and a girl. She always says she feels more sorry / caring for her boy as she knows her daughter can cope as she is a woman. But I feel she loves her dd more as she still lives close by and gets loads more than dh (but we live far away).

Though if I ever had another baby I would only want a GIRL!!

idobelieveinfaeries i get you

I do love my dd dearly and am very glad to have a girl but

ughhhhhh just so much harder work in so many ways

as for boys being' naughtier ' NO - generalisation asisde boys are more honest open and therefore life is calmer

dd can be a wee bit more conniving than the boys and therefore you do not know where you stand

LadyG I agree with you. I know lots of women who are wonderful mum's to their daughters. Mothers who resent independent daughters need their bumps felt!!

1st baby dd pnd took a long time to love her but absolutely do now. She's very kind and loving and clever.I love spending time alone with her she makes me laugh so much.

2nd baby ds, i really wanted another girl hadn't really thought about a boy and the he was born and it was like he was the messiah, bathed in a warm glow i adored him i spent the whole night staring at him i just thought he was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen. Now he's a little monster but very independent, now its a bit like unrequited love he just bodges about with me trying to cuddle him.

I don't favour one over the other but i feel very different about them. I don't know if thats because of there gender or circumstances of their birth. DD is very needy which is probably a result on my pnd and the more attention you give her the more she wants where as ds is very self contained probably because he has always been so adored. DD is a bit of a whine where as ds just a troublemaker somedays one is easier to deal withthan the other.

MonkeyChicken you could have written my story. My Daddy died 4 years ago leaving me with bitter and jealous Mother to contend with. Horrible and unneccessary, my mother has always found ways of turning my anxiety into a character defect. Whereas when my brother cried out, she'd be there with open arms.

i love being the mother i never had to my dd

I have a brother and I always felt he was a favourite not just with my mum but pretty much with the whole family, except my maternal gran. To be fair, he was a bit of a charmer, which I certainly wasn't.

Now I have a daughter and a son of my own, history seems to be repeating itself. My boy is much easier to deal with because of his sunny, outgoing personality. Inevitably all friends and family are drawn to him more than my daughter because he'll let them interact a lot more than she will.

But I do my best to avoid comparing, because it can be truly disheartening for the "less charming" sibling.

weird. never wanted a boy, and have one DD. could quite happily stay this way. baby boys are sweet - but a galumping, hormonal teenage boy is a scary thought...!

My mother's favourite was one of my brothers. The boy's were the definitely the ones that were favoured, waited on etc
I have 20 mo DD. As SuziSeis says I too love being the mother I never had to my DD, so well put.
I don't want any more children, I just want to do my best for my beautiful DD.

tenren - wee bit of a generalisation going on there