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Original poster

Gave biting boy marmite "medicine"

243 replies

Flamesparrow · 16/03/2009 17:40

I'm not going to traumatise him for life am I?

He hated it before, just seemed a good way to make him connect that doing bad stuff with his mouth makes bad things happen to his mouth.

Many tears and apologies!

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Original poster
Flamesparrow · 17/03/2009 22:26

God, go out for an evening...

Will read back and find out how terrible I am

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 17/03/2009 22:37

[tense]

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 17/03/2009 22:38

Right. I am going to give a full as possible history of the last month.

My little boy was "spirited", but we went with a method of time out involving me holding him on my lap for 2-3 mins (tightly so he couldn't headbutt me), explaining what he had done wrong. He would show remorse, say sorry.

This wasn't fixing any problems, just getting an apology each time but I was happy to go with that as it was all just your basic wilful toddler (throwing something in temper, refusing to do x, y, z etc).

This month something has changed in him.

He yells in my face. He hits and bites me and his sister. If I try and hold him down he kicks hell out of me. (There is no way on earth he would stay on a "naughty spot" and keeping putting him back on one just ends up in more kicking).

He has started running away from me when he can't get what he wants, and then doing aforementioned kicking, biting, spitting, screaming when caught.

My happy, lovely little boy has turned into a monster that I am embarrassed to have raised. His sister bears the brunt of it, and you can see that she feels like he "gets away with it" as nothing we are doing is working.

He wakes at 2am and comes in our room as he wants company. The last week he has gone from just wanting sleeping company to being very awake.

Oddly enough, I am tired of being attacked by my own son (who when he is happy is still my lovely little boy who spends his time cuddling me and loving me). I don't know why he is so angry at the moment apart from that I have been ill so he has had more of daddy putting him to bed etc.

He says he is "cross" not naughty (this is a 3yr old speaking )

I didn't force open his mouth btw - he was yelling in temper at having been put in his room for thumping hell out of his sister, so his mouth was open.

If by doing this once or twice I can stop him biting, I am going for it. I was obv joking about using diff food for diff habits.

Please. If any of you can tell me how to get my happy child back, with some new and exciting method I don't know, go for it.

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Original poster
Flamesparrow · 17/03/2009 22:43

That was longer than I expected

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 17/03/2009 22:45

I think it's a pretty vile thing to do, I'm afraid. I'd rather be smacked as a reflex action than asked to put my tongue out to have something I hated smeared on it, personally. Seems cold to me.

I think the best way to deal with biting is to tell them it's not on and make a huge fuss of the bitten child. Or adult.

fryalot · 17/03/2009 22:50

I think as a severe punishment it's a bloody good idea actually.

When you've tried the MN approved methods and they haven't worked, it's time to step things up a bit.

I personally would rather something like this than a beating.

I am interested to see what happens next time he thinks about biting someone...

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 17/03/2009 22:51

Squonk - well he hasn't tried today, which is the first time in about a week.

OP posts:
seeker · 17/03/2009 22:53

I presume you will wash his mouth out with soap if he swears?

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 17/03/2009 22:54

Swearing doesn't draw blood from his sister

OP posts:
fryalot · 17/03/2009 22:56

By Flamesparrow Tue 17-Mar-09 22:51:07 Add a message | Report post | Contact poster
Squonk - well he hasn't tried today, which is the first time in about a week.

nuff said

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 17/03/2009 22:57

Seriously - all those with the telling him it isn't on - that is what we have been doing. It started off with the spitting, which then progressed to hitting, then biting.

OP posts:
PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 17/03/2009 23:03

Oh good grief.

A tiny taste of a foodstuff that he dislikes is NOT going to traumatise him.
If that were the case then most children would be traumatised after their parents put something on their plates that they subsequently discovered they disliked.

As for saying 'it's not on' to the OP's ds, scummymummy- I'm sure she's already been through that stage some time ago.

It is no more a physical punishment than lifting your child onto a naughty step/chair.

And anyway. Marmite is not a 'disgusting' foodstuff. It is very yummy.

AitchTwoOh · 17/03/2009 23:04

poor wee thing. what do you think it's about? just you not being well? (i say 'just', dd really went a bit wild when i was in hospital with dd2).

BennyAndJoon · 17/03/2009 23:04

Flame, feel for you

I don't know what the judgey pants people on here think you should do.

Maybe they would contribute to cure DDs scars?

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 17/03/2009 23:07

Aitch - I think some is being 3, and some me not being "me" iyswim. He is very much mummy's boy, and I think me not being right has thrown him completely.

I agree on marmite yummy btw - I am the only one in the house who eats it

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Original poster
Flamesparrow · 17/03/2009 23:10

Aitch - I know I have you on fb, but I can't remember your rl name can you give me a hint?

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AitchTwoOh · 17/03/2009 23:11

lol, why? do you think i maybe commented on your photo today?

SoupDragon · 17/03/2009 23:12

I have an alternative to the marmite: Give him to all the Judgey Pants people to sort out. They clearly have all the answers.

For those comparing it to soap, soap isn't edible.

[sheesh]

AitchTwoOh · 17/03/2009 23:12

i did actually sign my name 'h' so that you could tell...

SoupDragon · 17/03/2009 23:13

I'd like to give them BabyDragon for a week too. I've never found the key to making her behave.

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 17/03/2009 23:15

Maybe we could just put BabyDragon and Flameboy in a box together and see which one survives? They may tame each other.

Aitch - found you before the hints ( @ not remembering the photo comment)

OP posts:
Ceolas · 17/03/2009 23:16

Supposing your boy bit one of the children of those judging you? And you calmly explained that you had told him firmly that he shouldn't bite. How would they judge you then?

People will revel in judging us whatever parenting stance we take.

I don't doubt that many of the judges will be glad their child won't be bitten by yours, however.

psychomum5 · 17/03/2009 23:17

if we are giving babydragon and flamedemon to judgypants, can we throw in the psychoboys too please.

AitchTwoOh · 17/03/2009 23:18

gotcha!

yes, flameboy and babydragon... but which is harder? there's only one way to find out....

FIGHT!!!! [harry hill]

AitchTwoOh · 17/03/2009 23:19

to be fair to the judgers, i found the gleeful cackling a bit much at the beginning of the thread.