shocked - mum left 9 yr old at home on own

[katiekittlemouse]

was at a sports centre today with dd's and shocked to hear that whilst taking her youngest 2 dd's swimming had left the eldest dd who is just 9yrs old at home on her own!!!

I am shocked! would you do that??? I wouldn't for sure!

DS is 5 but I can imagine I will leave him on his own sometimes when he is 9.

(I also leave the car unlocked in the drive when I am out and have been known to leave the door unlocked, although not with a diamond ring on the table).

Not sure how the two statements fit together though.

'Would you leave your car unlocked in the drive and a diamond engagement ring on the kitchen table in the unlocked house while you went out for 2 hours?'

Erm...yes. But not on purpose.

I leave my 10 yo alone for 15 mins while I go and collect his brother once a week. A swimming trip could take longer...2 hours? i was home alone for an hour or so after school when I was 9, but my parents never locked the back door either.

I think electrical problems and fires are merely some examples of what COULD go wrong, not to say it will.

Last year my son age 5 was spinning my youngest son innocently on an office chair in our dining room. I asked them both to stop while I went upstairs to get their pyjamas, and then the phone rang so I answered. Within 2 minutes I heard a scream and by the time i got downstairs my youngest had fallen off the chair and banged his head against the grate in the fireplace. He cut his head pretty badly and there was blood all over his hair and back. I took him straight to a&e where they stitched his head up and kept him in overnight because of concussion. I was absolutely mortified and felt so guilty that I had been distracted upstairs while this had happened. There is nothing to say this couldn't have been a 9year old. Can you imagine if I hadn't even been in the house?? I would hate for that level of responsibility to fall on the shoulders of a child as young as this.

but a 16 or 19 yo could be messing around or swinging on a chair and fall and hit their head?

From about the age of 6, if one of mine was poorly I have given them the choice of coming with me to take the others to school or staying 'home alone' - not moving from in front of the tv (for ~15min). Well, what would you choose??
Actually different children make different choices and now the youngest are older(8) I know one will always want me to come straight back, but another will tell me to take my time and not rush, and that I can go to the gym too if I like. I generally wouldn't leave any of them alone for more than an hour though.

And any stranger knocking on the door is going to be selling double glazing - the country is not full of wandering child snatchers. OF COURSE it's ok to leave a 9 year old at home alone for an hour or so - it's just bonkers to say it isn't.

Yes you're absolutely righ, but I would assume they would have a higher sense of danger and responsiblity. They could move out if they wanted to! I think a 19 year old is very different to a 9 year old

Yes but it's perfectly ok for a 19 or 20 year old to be getting pissed down the pub, but you wouldn't want a 9year old doing that???

I too leave my DD1 aged 9. She hates being dragged out of the house just to drop off DD2 at nursery etc.
I have given her a comprehensive list of do's and donts. All the relevant numbers are written down next to the main phone. (We have 4 handsets).

I trust my DD completely. I also trust her to tell me if she doesnt want to stay at home. I always give her the option.

She watches the TV. My DD did confess to eating bisciuts while on her own. She found this truely shocking behaviour, but was quite proud at the same time

I have a friend whos DD1 is slightly older than my DD1. She would never in a million years let her Dd stay home alone. But agrees that my DD is more than capable. She would tell me if she didnt think so.

Horses for courses.

charlie - just think for a second. What is going to happen to a sensible 9 year old watching tv alone for an hour?

You've hit the nail on the head ronshar. Every child is different and what works for one, doesn't necessarily for another.

exactly what i wrote in a previous post about the head injruy thing. there are no guarantees in life and I couldn't guarantee my children would stay glued to the tv without getting up to some mischief. Perhaps I just have naughty boys

But they could fall going to the loo in the night and you wouldn't know unless you happened to wake up.

They could fall in their bedroom with you downstairs and you not hear them. Or in the garden.

Or maybe just boys

If dd (12) fell and knocked herself out I am fairly confident that ds (8) would be capable of either ringing 999 himself or getting a neighbour to do it. When he cut himself on some barbed wire on holiday last year ( we were there) I was very impressed by the calm manner in which she started packing his hospital bag.

Our neighbour knocked herself out last year. Yet noone suggests that middle-aged women shouldn't be allowed to live on their own.

I feel very sorry for children who are quite sensible, capable and willing to be left in the house on their own and the parent won't because of their own fears. I find the whole thing of -'there might be a fire etc' a bit bizarre considering the odds of you having a car accident are far, far higher and yet people are quite happy to strap them in the car and drive.

Can't see a problem with this if the 9-year-old is sensible. I was forced to go to a childminder after school until I was 11 but had been begging to be a latch-key kid since at least the age of nine.

A couple of hours alone in the house is no problem for a sensible child. Obviously there probably need to be rules/guidance. I never cooked anything and I didn't answer the door. I think the worst thing that ever happened to me was that I slipped down the stairs because I was running to answer the phone (which was my dad ringing to check I was ok). No major damage done though

any child of 9 should be capable of calling the emergency services if necessary.

What if YOU fell downstairs or fainted or some such, and needed medical attention?

We have discussed this with ds, simply because I'm disabled, and it's not beyond the bounds of possibility that I could fall and knock myself out or something.

In fact, the only time he nearly used it was when he was out with dh, who banged his head hard on the car tailgate, and got VERY dizzy. DS was ready to search dh's pockets for his moile & call an ambulance.

I was shocked when I read the title that a 9 year old had been left in the house on there own, but not as shocked as I was when I read how many people also leave there 9 year olds at home alone! Im starting to wonder if Im too over protective, but it would feel very strange to leave my DS at home alone (hes 9 in May).
Also, I asked him after I read this how he would feel and he said he would be scared to be at home alone and would rather come with me. They had a talk at school about burglars and he has been very worried about someone breaking in ever since then.
I do think it also depends on the child. My DS is very grown up and independent but Im not sure he would be ready to be left alone just yet.

i have rarely locked my car or my house since we moved here 6 years ago. and i don't have a diamond engagement ring.does this mean i should or shouldn't be leaving my child?

You shouldn't leave any child that doesn't want to be left - that goes without saying.

well, keels, it's about what's right for your ds. Mine will also be 9 in May, and his response is that he'd be bored trundling round the COOP with me.

(he may also have a shrewd suspicion that if a burglar did break in there wouldn't be a lot I could do to defend him)

I was a latchkey kid from age 8--think I've turned out quite independent and capable!

It's gonna be tough with my DH, he was NEVER left alone as a kid, at least one parent was always there. Only 16 weeks pregnant and we're already discovering we were raised completely differently as far as being left alone/going out alone.