Hello everyone!
Mrsgboring, I'm really sorry if you or anyone else was upset or offended by my remark earlier on. I was writing about the crazy, worst case scenarios I've been conjuring up and was just thinking of the TV image as Threestars says. It was meant slightly light heartedly (as in poking fun at one's darkest fears), what was not meant to be seen as light hearted was someone losing their child. I can't imagine anything more horrific than losing a child, it is something I think of pretty well non stop and I never meant to imply that losing a baby would mean you would take someone else's. So I apologise.
Everyone else, thanks v much to those who didn't see my decision and gave me more advice, all still gratefully received!
Dh did understand that it wasn't the best holiday for me or our son and that he and I wouldn't be able to spend much time together anyway. He also is terrified about something happening to our son ever since a window nearly fell on his cot, which seemed impossible beforehand, so he got my fears about the room. He then brought up Oman himself and I said how hurt and upset I was (I was shaking by the end of our talk!), how disappointed in him I was, how he was a mummy's boy and it didn't feel like we were his priorities, might have mentioned apron strings! Graduated to venting about his mother which felt good. I think he finally gets it (we've talked about it before but apparently he didn't quite understand how upset I was. Hmmm) and he feels awful which is one thing. Still going though of course! But hopefully he will be feeling so guilty the whole time, and bloody silly sharing a double room with his sister... particularly over Valentine's Day. Am hoping there'll be lots of rose petals strewn on their bed!
Amey, yes do need a confidence boost! Was getting over the fact that he's not a die for you knight in shining armour type of man but not going on a luxury holiday without me I could have expected from him! Thanks for what you said about counselling. I think, I hope, that we are ok. And I don't want to make the situation any bigger than it is. But if he doesn't make some very clear steps to improve the situation than who knows. I hope it helped for you and thank you for telling me that you were in a similar place
Holyg - she did tell me the name of the hotel in her email (looks so nice :-( ) so I don't think she was thinking of that. Though prob didn't cross her mind that her son would go against her wishes! She's always been so lovely to me which makes this so confusing. I think she thinks without me, my dh will focus on her entirely. Sounds rather grotesque and Norma Desmond but I think I'm right. Or she's just bonkers! But this will never, never happen again and I expect an amazing holiday to make up for this (though of course he has no more time off...!)