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Original poster

Would you leave your baby in a hotel room?

197 replies

Mip · 01/02/2009 18:41

I am meant to be going skiing with my husband and his family at the end of February. We are going to a small (500 or so rooms, one lift, one staircase) hotel where we have been many times. Real family feeling, often same guests, staff etc. This time we will have our 7 month old son with us. Last year my sister in law had her 8 month old son with her and she left him in their room while we all ate in the dining room. She had a baby monitor with her and her and her husband went to check every now and again. So, now it's my turn and I really don't like the idea of leaving him in the room (apart from the fact that he'll probably be totally unsettled and I'll spend the whole of dinner in the room calming him down!). It would take only a couple of minutes to get to his room if he started crying so that's not the problem, I'm just scared that a crazed chambermaid would steal him or that there could be a fire or something. I think most guests do it at the hotel. What do you all think? Is it normal to do this or irresponsible?

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bohemianbint · 01/02/2009 21:10

as someone who was left in hotel rooms as a child, I would say no way. It's very scary if you cry and no one comes.

pgwithnumber3 · 01/02/2009 21:11

MIP, I don't want to upset you personally as you sound lovely but why are you putting up with this?

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/02/2009 21:13

no dont do it

if you go on holiday with children, then they go with you in evenings,in buggy or whatever

maybe see if the staff do a bs service or hire a nanny while you are over there if you do want to go out in evening

its just not worth the risk imho

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princessmel · 01/02/2009 21:15

I'm with moony and Deeblindmice

Outrageous.

DO NOT GO.

MollieO · 01/02/2009 21:15

Have to say I'd be very unimpressed with a husband who would go on holiday with his mum without me (unless I couldn't stand his mother!).

I'd be wary of relying on baby monitors. You might set it up and know it is working and go down to dinner with confidence but then someone else could switch their monitor on a bit later and the interference start. You wouldn't know. When my ds was little we got occasional interference from a neighbour some houses away from ours. They didn't use the monitor every evening (or we didn't get inteference every evening). It was a it embarrasing as they used to have rows which my ds's monitor picked up and I could hear every word!

DeeBlindMice · 01/02/2009 21:17

Tell your DH that you will agree to looking after your son singlehandedly for one week so that he can go on whatever family holiday he chooses.

You will do this on condition that you three go to the Canaries at Easter on the understanding that this is YOUR break and he will be giving you plenty of opportunities for rest by doing the lion's share of the childcare while you are there.

You two have a child together now. He doesn't just get to go off for two weeks and presume you will be looking after his son. Tell him if he goes on both holidays he will have to pay for a full time nanny for one of the weeks as you won't be available for childcare.

That's what I would do.

Well no, actually, I would say an big fat "no sodding way" to him leaving us or to us going skiing and let his mother go and shite on her pathetic little excursion. But that might be a bit extreme for you

StealthPo09IsHere · 01/02/2009 21:17

Mip, sorry I opened such a can of worms.
Have you suggested to your DH that you alternate days skiing and the other looks after DS? Why does it have to be you?

KerryMumbles · 01/02/2009 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

welshdeb · 01/02/2009 21:21

I just read you post of 19.04 quote "The trip is quite a difficult one too - a flight, two train journeys - all with lots of luggage"
Then when you get there you will have to try to entertain your ds, whilst away from home - probably on your own as your dh and ils will be enjoying themselves sking all day. And not to mention the return journey.

I have to say I would probably prefer to gouge my eyes out with a blunt spoon than endure the whole experience.

Stand your ground and stay at home and book a trip away, just for you at a luxurious spa resort.

And to add insult to injury to follow a weeks beach holiday to which you are not invited.

This would be the first and last time for me .

Hulababy · 01/02/2009 21:21

I wouldn't do it personally, even with a monitor. I wouldn't feel comfortable about it so therefore wouldn't actually enjoy being out anyway, so would be better to not bother.

I know others who havem but it just isn;t for me.

Original poster

Mip · 01/02/2009 21:27

Oh you're all so lovely. Wish you were my husbands!

And thank you all too for the continuing great advice and opinions on the room thing and the nobhead :-) husband and mil.

As for putting up with it. It's so hard when he just doesn't get it. Somehow I always end up feeling like I'm being over sensitive. Also he is otherwise a wonderful man. Supportive, proud, usually very 'family first', wonderful with my parents - looking after them when they visit, saying they should come over anytime etc. And he looks lovely too! A bit old fashioned with who looks after the baby (one nappy change a week!) but so in love with our son and becoming more helpful as our son gets older.

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DeeBlindMice · 01/02/2009 21:30

He doesn't have to "get it" (although it speaks extremely ill of him that he doesn't "get" the bleeding obvious with regard to his responsibilities to his wife and child), just tell him what is acceptable to you and hold your line.

He can't do what he's planning (have two lovely week-long jollies at your expense) without your agreement.

Puddlet · 01/02/2009 21:31

I think maybe some of these posts are a little alarmist. I used a baby monitor so that my baby could sleep in our room at a family wedding and it was absolutely fine. She slept well and when she woke up we were there within about a minute - no longer than if we were at home and she woke up in the evening. We'd asked for a room close to the restaurant. It would be worth investing in a good baby monitor though - the more modern ones don't pick up so much interference.

I know that we all have the worst case scenarios in our heads but isn't it important to try to be rational when assessing risk? Because otherwise we end up in a situation where our children aren't allowed to do any of the things that we did back in the idyllic 1970s/ early 80s. And that isn't always a good thing...

Having said that, it really doesn't sound as if the baby monitor issue is the main one here. Perhaps if you show your dh some of the replies on this thread he might think again about his "right" to go on holiday without thinking about his family's needs?

DeeBlindMice · 01/02/2009 21:31

BTW LOL @ you having several bolshy MNers as your "lovely" husbands

lisalisa · 01/02/2009 21:32

Well I couldn't. As you said there could be a fire or a zillion to one chance someone could break in and take my chld. I was faced with the exact same situation recently but we were on a seminar with evening lectures that we had to attned. The organisers laid on young girls to patrol each floor listening out for babies crying ( and the unspoken - intruders). Although this made me feel slightly easier I still coudl not do it and took my ds with me in the end!

Original poster

Mip · 01/02/2009 21:36

Deeblindmice - to be fair he's said that we'd take turns looking after him in the hotel room if we decided to eat early with our son and then one of us be with him in room while the other sat with everyone else at dinner, he's also said that he'd walk with me a lot and am sure he would take him if I wanted to ski but don't like leaving him totally when he's so used to being fed etc by me. His sister won't be skiing either (is going with her two year old) so I wouldn't be alone. So his intentions are good, in his mind he'd be helping lots on the ski holiday, it's just I know that that's not how it would work out because the baby's still young and it will be me ending up soothing him, not wanting to leave him etc. Also how can I sit there looking like shit while they're all (except for my brother in law!) glowing?!

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Original poster

Mip · 01/02/2009 21:37

Deeblindmice :-D

Lisalisa - that's just what I would end up doing too! And who can trust the 'guards' anyway?!

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MollieO · 01/02/2009 21:38

It is a shame that more thought hasn't gone into the holiday and a catered chalet complete with childcare wasn't chosen. Loads of companies offer this and that way you wouldn't have the dining issue at all (and you'd be able to leave your ds in the creche and go skiing). That is what I did as I couldn't work out how I'd be able to leave the hotel room in the evenings.

ChippingIn · 01/02/2009 21:39

MIP - I wouldn't do it - simply because I wouldn't be there!!

Your DH sounds like a complete tosser, but I bow to your better knowledge of him... so if he is as great as you seem to think he is, you should be able to explain to him that there's no farking way he's going that going away to sun himself with his family, that don't include you and his child as family is not going to happen - not if he values his testicles. Family holiday includes you & DS. I cannot believe he can't see for himself what a slap in the face this is... from MIL and HIM. FFS.

As for traipsing a small baby on this ski holiday, no thanks very bloody much... all that effort for people who treat you like that... forget it.

Original poster

Mip · 01/02/2009 21:40

And Dee, bolshy yes. But I like to think it's the Mary Poppins firm but fair ethos. Comforting to a homesick Englishwoman!

OP posts:

lisalisa · 01/02/2009 21:41

Mip - I do feel for you a bit as you are not doing any skiing and yet have to cart baby abotu and do all the worrying. Without wishing to interfere or cause trouble it doesn't seem as if your needs have been considered in any great depth here.

MollieO · 01/02/2009 21:42

Just read your latest message. What is the likelihood of MIL making a fuss about her son not being at dinner and you ending up having to spend every evening having the early dinner with your son? Just a thought and a pretty likely one based on the fact that she is quite happy to exclude you from a family holiday. I learnt to ski years ago because my then boyfriend's parents paid for him and his brother to bring their girlfriends for two weeks skiing in Switzerland every year. They even paid for my private ski lessons!

Original poster

Mip · 01/02/2009 21:42

MollieO - yes, a catered chalet would have been perfect. My family actually go to the same hotel. We didn't go this year as my mother thought the babies (my brother has one too) were too small, and if we go skiing again we are going to hire a chalet rather than go to a hotel.

Believe me Chipping, his testicles while in place for now, are very, very lonely.

OP posts:

pgwithnumber3 · 01/02/2009 21:42

That's me - Mary Poppins

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/02/2009 21:44

nip - tbh it sounds a nightmare, i am proxy parenting at moment for my family i work for as they have gone skiing and taking 3 under 6 isnt fun, also have a 7mth old

Poloplayingmummy - could have babysitter but that really is very expensive and I'm reluctant to use someone that I don't know

if you do go,then tell dh that he can pay for a babysitter, who can then call you if your child cries, and you could be in your room in a minute - skiing isnt cheap

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