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Original poster

Would you leave your baby in a hotel room?

197 replies

Mip · 01/02/2009 18:41

I am meant to be going skiing with my husband and his family at the end of February. We are going to a small (500 or so rooms, one lift, one staircase) hotel where we have been many times. Real family feeling, often same guests, staff etc. This time we will have our 7 month old son with us. Last year my sister in law had her 8 month old son with her and she left him in their room while we all ate in the dining room. She had a baby monitor with her and her and her husband went to check every now and again. So, now it's my turn and I really don't like the idea of leaving him in the room (apart from the fact that he'll probably be totally unsettled and I'll spend the whole of dinner in the room calming him down!). It would take only a couple of minutes to get to his room if he started crying so that's not the problem, I'm just scared that a crazed chambermaid would steal him or that there could be a fire or something. I think most guests do it at the hotel. What do you all think? Is it normal to do this or irresponsible?

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oranges · 01/02/2009 20:20

And as for the baby backpack - wouldn't a sling or baby bjorn type thing be nicer as they are huddled against you for warmth? That is if you do still go!

Flightattendant9 · 01/02/2009 20:24

Mumsnut how absolutely awful. I'm so glad you were all safe.

Onlyaphase · 01/02/2009 20:24

Would second what Mummyfor3 said and agree that I've stayed in a not that big a hotel before for a wedding with 5 month old DD, only to find the monitor didn't work as the walls were too thick. A horrible evening ensued for all.

We are shortly due to go away again and have booked a babysitter who will sit in the hotel room for the duration of the evening....this is why we normally go self catering!

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techpep · 01/02/2009 20:32

No i definitely wouldn't, theres just no need for it, the children (and babies) come on holidays with us and therefore i think should be with us. If you feel the restaurant is not the right atmosphere for a baby, arrange room service for you and your dh i'm sure you'll enjoy it a lot more as you'll be relaxed.

cory · 01/02/2009 20:33

I would take him with me to the dining room, either awake or asleep in his buggy. I'd worry about him waking up and finding himself alone in a strange place.

Did lots of travelling with both dcs and always took them around with us. Made for a more relaxed experience imo.

DeeBlindMice · 01/02/2009 20:37

Hold on a minute, pull up the Minor Issue train we're about to pass Missing the Point station

Your DH is leaving you and your DS to go on a beach holiday with his family to which you're not invited?

And then a week later you are being asked to drag your arse half way around Europe so that you can babysit for a week in the freezing cold while your DH goes skiing with his family (of which you are not a part)?

I wouldn't even consider going. I would tell him he can pick one holiday and go on that, and when he comes back he can look after your DS for a week while you take a break.

You're not paranoid enough! Why should you leave your son in a situation you're not happy with to placate people who don't even consider you to be family. If you are only to be invited to one holiday why must it be the one that is inconvenient to you and inappropriate for your son?

Assholes. Seriously.

Original poster
Mip · 01/02/2009 20:38

God Mumsnut - that's AWFUL. You poor things. Thank god you were able to stampede them! Hadn't thought about being stopped from going to the room...

Interesting about the baby monitors... didn't know that. Though I could be sure it would be my baby making the noise!

Great that slings etc have worked for some of you but I think as it's an expensive hotel I would feel bad for people if he made any noise at all.

Compared to a lot of the hotels you're describing, this one does sound pretty big now! But it does seem very small when there and we'd be on the second floor, which is the floor above the restaurant.

Sharky, I would of course be happy to miss the meal and sit with him but to do that every night would be an absolute waste of the holiday, which is why I'm not wanting to go. And you're absolutely right about not caring what they think. It's pathetic I know, but you know how stressful it is with inlaws. I would do what I felt was right but I just wouldn't enjoy all the rolled eyeballs and helpful advice along the way!

Lemontart and Wheelsonthebus- thank you very much for the hypothermia warning. That has been something I've been very worried about. I am sure they fall asleep very quickly and heavily in the air while being carried and so even if I was walking with someone it could be quite easy, with him on my back, not to notice if something was wrong.

Wheelsonthebus - I am in utter shock. Am so furious and hurt (not to mention annoyed as I would love, love, love to go on a beach holiday) and also pissed off that now two weeks of my husband's holiday for the year have been taken up with his family. I'd love for us to go to the Canary Islands or something around Easter but of course he can't take the time off now! Luckily it's dh's (can't believe I'm writing 'd'!) parents who are paying the hotel. Mil's reasoning is that she wants to be with just the family because it will be 'the last time'. No, the last time was before your children got married and had children. Deal with it! Just can't believe my husband is such a mummy's boy - not very attractive! My brother would NEVER go away without his wife, not that my mother would think of not inviting her. Extra rude as I live abroad, away from my family (where my husband and his family are from) and then on top of that my husband is working so much at the moment and away on lots of work trips, so I really rely on him for taking over a bit at the weekend. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Deeeeeeeeep breath. There. All calm now.

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 01/02/2009 20:38

NO

Dropdeadfred · 01/02/2009 20:41

God....whay does your mil not want you at her 60th holiday? and why is your dh prepared to go without you?

noonki · 01/02/2009 20:46

Mainly but not soley no because of fire.

JiminyCricket · 01/02/2009 20:48

have done, but ate my dinner at the speed of light and not very relaxing.

PoloPlayingMummy · 01/02/2009 20:49

No way would I leave a 7mo alone in a hotel room no matter how close by the dining room was. Totally irresponsible IMO.

Can you not take him with you/use a nanny service?

Original poster
Mip · 01/02/2009 20:53

Deeblindmice I love you!!! When I heard about the beach holiday I said to my husband that I didn't feel like going on the ski trip anymore, that it was a huge effort but had been prepared to make it so as not to ruin the family holiday but now I thought what was the point if the real family holiday (which incidentally was much more child friendly, plus I would adore to eat in the room there... fresh fruit on a balcony overlooking the sea, sigh. Not quite the same being in a small, dark hotel room eating congealed food with the odour of ski socks drying on the radiator...), anyway, when I said this he said that I was being childish and that he wouldn't enjoy the holiday without me and our son being there!!! He at least looked the tiniest bit shamefaced when I pointed out that he was doing absolutely a ok without us a week earlier. His mother is unbelievable though. She's keeping the destination a surprise till they're at the airport. I emailed her saying it would be quite nice to know where my husband was going and she wrote a nice informative email saying how amazing the hotel was and how they'd got advice for excursions from a friend when they'd 'tired of the sun and sea'!!!

OP posts:
pgwithnumber3 · 01/02/2009 21:01

at your DH going away without you. That would be a huge misdemeanor to me and my DH would simply be put right in his place. Then he expects you go on a totally un-child friendly holiday! Fucking hell.

pgwithnumber3 · 01/02/2009 21:02

AND and more at your MIL. What a crock a shit she is.

moondog · 01/02/2009 21:03

Mip, your MIL is an evil witch and your 'd'h is a disloyal knob for going aLONG WITH IT.
I would seriously be considering a divorce from a man who treated me like tihs.

DeeBlindMice · 01/02/2009 21:03

Horton - oh yes, l have heard tell of such babies I like to pretend they don't exist though. I think we were still measuring DD's age in weeks when her pram went from guaranteed sleepmobile to her carriage of excited wakefulness.

Original poster
Mip · 01/02/2009 21:04

Oranges, thank you, had thought babybjörn would would as you say keep him much cosier and I could keep an eye on him better but he will be nearly 8 months by then so I think I might need something better for my back. Would do that if taking lifts though I think.

Dropdead - because she is a childish, silly woman and wants her little family with her without their attention straying! As for dh, believe me I am thinking of that every second. Am so, so very upset about him doing this and thinking it's ok. He just does not get it. He also spends happy times with me guessing where they're going. 'All she said was bring a tennis racket and swimming trunks..'. I guess he's his mother's son. Funny thing is they always talk about how selfish the grandmother is (her mother) is!

Poloplayingmummy - could have babysitter but that really is very expensive and I'm reluctant to use someone that I don't know. Would use one if I had to go on the holiday and attend the dinner but I don't really so that's why it seems better for us not to go. Posted to see if I was being overly cautious with not wanting to leave him alone. A lot of guests at this hotel do do it though and I don't believe it is totally irresponsible, baby monitors work there and if he cried I would be up there only a very short while after he started crying so he wouldn't have time to work out that he was alone anymore than if we were home. Having said that I hate that the staff have keys, and would be too frightened of the chance of fire or any freak accident. I would feel irresponsible. Also I hate being away from my baby :-).

OP posts:
pgwithnumber3 · 01/02/2009 21:05

I am so glad my DH doesn't treat his mother like a wife.

moondog · 01/02/2009 21:05

So you won't be skiing right?
Just hanging around for them.Words utterly fail me and that doesn't happen often.

Original poster
Mip · 01/02/2009 21:05

:-) Moondog and Pg, you're making me feel lots better! And yes, I am really thinking of divorce. He's not the man I thought he was :-(.

OP posts:
moondog · 01/02/2009 21:07

He needs a good seeing to in a dark alley.
Fucking hell!

Original poster
Mip · 01/02/2009 21:07

Not really really thinking btw. We've just had a baby and he's gorgeous so dh has good genes ;-) (apart from the selfish one!), but divorce is certainly a daydream! And joking aside, it has really soured stuff. When we're having a lovely day I can't enjoy it properly, hold back as I'm so hurt/annoyed.

OP posts:
moondog · 01/02/2009 21:09

I wouldn't be forgetting any of it.Ever.

pgwithnumber3 · 01/02/2009 21:10

Poor you, I would be telling him he can take the baby skiing and you will fuck off with your friends for a week in the sun while he has a wonderful time looking after his child. Sorry to be quite so blunt but he is a NOBHEAD and from the sounds of it, with a mother like his, is it any wonder?

D.I.V.O.R.C.E would be spelt out in his blood if my DH did that to me.

God, I am truly {shock] that a MIL and a DH would carry on like this. It is incredulous.