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Original poster

Would you leave your baby in a hotel room?

197 replies

Mip · 01/02/2009 18:41

I am meant to be going skiing with my husband and his family at the end of February. We are going to a small (500 or so rooms, one lift, one staircase) hotel where we have been many times. Real family feeling, often same guests, staff etc. This time we will have our 7 month old son with us. Last year my sister in law had her 8 month old son with her and she left him in their room while we all ate in the dining room. She had a baby monitor with her and her and her husband went to check every now and again. So, now it's my turn and I really don't like the idea of leaving him in the room (apart from the fact that he'll probably be totally unsettled and I'll spend the whole of dinner in the room calming him down!). It would take only a couple of minutes to get to his room if he started crying so that's not the problem, I'm just scared that a crazed chambermaid would steal him or that there could be a fire or something. I think most guests do it at the hotel. What do you all think? Is it normal to do this or irresponsible?

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Original poster
Mip · 01/02/2009 21:46

MollieO - the thought had crossed my mind! She really loves her grandson though and is usually so welcoming and generous, that's what makes it all the stranger. Such nice family your ex had though.

Lisalisa, you're not interfering. You're being nice! Problem is that last year we did this holiday and my sister in law had her baby along who was roughly the same age and they managed so they all think it's ok. I know she found it very hard work though but time makes some mothers forget the early days I think!

OP posts:
moondog · 01/02/2009 21:50

I don't understand all this 'make hiom pay for the babysitter' stuff though.They're a family, so any money spent belongs to all of them.

DeeBlindMice · 01/02/2009 21:51

Not sure if you saw this thread, it is one of my very favourites on MN:

AIBU to call the police on my nanny>

What your SIL did last year is irrelevant. You are under no obligation to make the same choices as she.

Interested in this thread?

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Families General parenting
Blondeshavemorefun · 01/02/2009 21:52

sorry, meant make him pay, as in yes childcare is exp,but if he cant flaunt about on another holiday then he/they can afford childcare IF that makes the op (wife) happy

does that make sense?

Original poster
Mip · 01/02/2009 21:55

Baby woken for feed so will have to go. Thank you all so much again, and Dee, have just checked thread and read OP. Gorgeous! Will read it all tomorrow! Night everyone.

OP posts:
PoloPlayingMummy · 01/02/2009 21:55

Mip - I wasn't trying to be rude, sorry

What I should have put was it would worry me immensely to leave such a young child with just a monitor in a strange place. Wasn't trying to imply you were irresponsible

[wanders off in search of some tact..]

pgwithnumber3 · 01/02/2009 21:58

Never mind make him pay for a babysitter, I would make him babysit. Every day whilst I went skiing, after all, he has just had a holiday without any DC to worry about. What a selfish prick. Doesn't matter to me how "nice" someone is, ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS and his actions are despicable as are his mother's.

Great quote from Maya Angelou which I think is so true:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".

cory · 01/02/2009 22:00

angel1976 on Sun 01-Feb-09 20:14:41
"I second what TheWheelsOnTheBusHaveFallenOff said... We were talking with some friends from Switzerland about going skiing (when DS will be about almost 2) and whether it will be okay to bring DS. They told us of a horror story (could be an urban myth) about some parent who strapped their child to their back and went skiing. The child (apparently) had the bits that were exposed frozen off cos it was so cold and the parent was none the wider... I know it's all worst-case scenarios but better be cautious than sorry! "

Erhmmm....can I just point out that babies are brought up in the cold and snowy parts of Europe- I was one of them!- and that they usually spend more time out of doors than English babies do. You have to wrap them up warm and watch out for hypothermia, obviously, but it is not dangerous per se for a baby to be out skiing.

I went toboganning (slowly and carefully) with ds when he was 7 months old; we had a whale of a time.

cory · 01/02/2009 22:03

I would have been prepared to have done this kind of holiday when one of dcs was little, but that is because I know dh and I would have been working on it together. Being the one who babysat while he had a holiday just wouldn't rock my boat I'm afraid.

DeeBlindMice · 01/02/2009 22:07

Actually it is dangerous per se for a baby to be brought skiing in a backpack. I don't think that's what you're advising cory but just wanted to make it clear.

The hypothermia is a different issue, although it's obviously one with which people who live in colder climates are going to be more familiar and so handle better.

angel1976 · 01/02/2009 22:07

Cory, I never did say it was dangerous for a baby to be out skiing! In fact, we are thinking of bringing DS skiing this Christmas when he would be almost 2. I think though that it was good advice seeing as OP was not brought up in a cold and snowy part of Europe (though after the snow we have had tonight... ). I think if you were brought up in a cold and snowy part of Europe, you would be aware of what to look out for but someone from a warmer part may not. DS was born in Feb last year so it was pretty cold. I come from a warm country and for a week or two, all I did was stuck DS in a long-sleeved babygro... It wasn't till my MIL presented with 6 brand new vests (all washed and ironed) did I realise that DS needed probably more layers than that. Oh, the shame... Now I probably over-layer poor DS for fear of him freezing and often calm myself by thinking of how bad things used to be without central heating...

rookiemater · 01/02/2009 22:11

Mip I know you are off settling your baby but I have to post, I can't not.

Why on earth are you doing this ? It sounds hideous. Nothing worse than going on a skiing holiday if you are not skiing. Your DS is not old enough to enjoy the snow for more than about 10 minutes and there is nothing to do in a ski resort, except well, ski.

Your DH is being selfish in the extreme and you are validating his behaviour by letting him. What his mother chooses to do is beyond your control as is probably his response. You can however choose not to trek you and your DS to this resort, have a rubbish time and miss most of your meals, just so your DH won't miss you, which sounds like preposterous twaddle. I don't think there is any point in negotiating the luxury break you are going to go on after this, because to me this is a deal breaker and if he doesn't get how twattish he is being, then well actually I don't want to say it, but its not good.

ScottishMummy · 01/02/2009 22:32

no wouldn't leave a baby alone and rely upon monitor.strange environment not like being at home downstairs with monitor

i would just be up an down faffing about checking,so in that case keep baby with you

regardless of what others do i would need to see my baby,couldn't settle with baby few floors away

anyhoo,enjoy your holiday

Dropdeadfred · 01/02/2009 22:56

i would phone MIL and ask why you and her beloved grandson cannot join your dh on the beach holiday

threestars · 01/02/2009 23:40

How is your baby once he falls asleep? Many times when I've panicked about going to a restaurant with baby in pram, they've had an uninterrupted sleep. The background hum of conversations seems to be quite comforting, and you can always rock the prom if he wakes?

Anyway, how about for one or two nights your MIL babysits her gorgeous and beloved grandson? So that DH can spend some pprecious holiday time with YOU, since she hasn't invited you to the beach holiday and so that you get a break. Perhaps your DH can ask her in advance of the holiday.

Good luck.

threestars · 01/02/2009 23:43

Not ask her actually, more suggest or "you WILL babysit at some point, won't you? Otherwise Mip will have a pretty lonely holiday and you don't want that do you mum?"

Lemontart · 02/02/2009 09:41

Just bumped an old thread that might be useful to read Mip: also popped a link on the bottom that might be helpful - as a way to bump the thread too!

AnnasBananas · 02/02/2009 19:03

I would not do it. Never would. Even before Madeleine McCann.

Pay for a babysitter from an egency if you have to. It's not worth the risk IMO.

Original poster
Mip · 02/02/2009 19:21

Thanks everyone for the continuing posts. Am now back at my computer after a busy day which included cutting my hair for first time since baby born - feel soooo much better. Ready for a beach holiday in fact ;-).

Poloplayingmummy, you didn't need to write but thank you!

Beautiful Maya Angelou quotation pgwithnumber3

Should ask mil to take her grandson a bit... only thing is I don't want her near him at the moment!

As for the hypothermia comments, really appreciate the warnings, actually live in Sweden now so lots of snow clothes available (though much warmer than England today!) and everyone quite clued up about cold weather. Still think the warnings are very important, I know when I'm out with him in his pram in normal cold winter I'm walking and lugging pram in and out of shops etc, very easy then to assume he's as warm as me and open the sleeping bag a bit etc. And then when skiing/walking (I'd be walking) you often have them on your back so harder to see if they're ok. And of course, half way up a mountain you don't feel like taking off the backpack. Also concerned about the very strong sun... Much easy when he's a little old and can tell me what he's feeling!

Thank you, thank you all!

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 02/02/2009 22:07

Believe me Chipping, his testicles while in place for now, are very, very lonely. ... Well, that's a start!!!

I like your Mum much more ( I bet she doesn't think too much of your DH (well, not if you tell her what's going on anyway! I know I don't! LOL).

BananaSkin · 02/02/2009 23:07

No, I wouldn't do it.

Original poster
Mip · 02/02/2009 23:35

Thanks Banana.

Chipping, yes my mum is lovely :-)! And no, she is not very impressed to put it mildly. Nor is my father. Did tell my mother as I couldn't help but do so but hadn't told my father... but of course she then did, called him up straight away, so they could have a furious chat together. Then she called my grandparents and of course they are furious too!

Anyway, have decided I am not going to go skiing. Am going to go to London and spend a week with my mum! My dad said he'd come up lots and they're deciding that I won't spend a moment with my son (but I want to!) but they will take him while I read and have facials! My mother even wants to take him at night so I can sleep. She won't last but it's a lovely thought! So now do not need to worry about baby monitors or hypothermia. Having said that, if visiting London... ;-)

Night everyone and hope you're all ok in the snow!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mip · 02/02/2009 23:36

And a general thank you to you all for helping me come to my hard-arse decision!

OP posts:
mousehole · 02/02/2009 23:48

This reply has been withdrawn

withdrawn at poster's request

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 03/02/2009 00:09

I didn't post on your thread, but wanted to, I was so furious for you. Glad you have come to this decision - and your parents sound absolutely lovely. I hope your decision will make your husband come to his senses and realise how selfish he is being.