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Original poster

Would you leave your baby in a hotel room?

197 replies

Mip · 01/02/2009 18:41

I am meant to be going skiing with my husband and his family at the end of February. We are going to a small (500 or so rooms, one lift, one staircase) hotel where we have been many times. Real family feeling, often same guests, staff etc. This time we will have our 7 month old son with us. Last year my sister in law had her 8 month old son with her and she left him in their room while we all ate in the dining room. She had a baby monitor with her and her and her husband went to check every now and again. So, now it's my turn and I really don't like the idea of leaving him in the room (apart from the fact that he'll probably be totally unsettled and I'll spend the whole of dinner in the room calming him down!). It would take only a couple of minutes to get to his room if he started crying so that's not the problem, I'm just scared that a crazed chambermaid would steal him or that there could be a fire or something. I think most guests do it at the hotel. What do you all think? Is it normal to do this or irresponsible?

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DontlookatmeImshy · 01/02/2009 19:05

I did this once with ds1 and a baby monitor at one of dh's work do's but wouldn't ever do it again.

While we were having dinner the fire alarm went off. It was a false alarm but I have never moved so fast and was prepared to batter people out of my way if they tried to stop me.

If it had been real I would've had no idea where that fire was, it may even have blocked the way to our room.

It's a very small chance but one i'm not prepared to take again.

Agree with Hecate's post about how long it will take to get there. It seemed to take forever for me to get to ds1. Ds1 spent the rest of the meal with us in his pushchair getting cooed over by all the ladies at our table

bergentulip · 01/02/2009 19:06

I've been a floor away at most when we've left DS1 in the hotel room. Fine. Very open layout as well, so we could practically hear him in the dining room without the monitor if he cried.

However, we stayed at a big 30floor hotel another holiday, and although we left ours two DSs in the room alone, we got a bottle of wine and sat on the sofas that were by the lifts on the same floor as the room (23rd). As others have said, the idea of being a lift ride away seems too much..... for us.

But, this approach would not be practical in your case, as you cannot all very well sit several floors away from your friends whilst they eat in the dining room. Would seem odd.

How many floors away would it be? Could you ask to be on the ground/1st floor?? That could make it more comfortable and less worrying for you?

PlumBumMum · 01/02/2009 19:07

Mip I think you've answered your own ques , I wouldn't be going babies are hard work on holiday as it is, and this isn't really a holiday for you this time, I'd be gatecrashing the other family party if it was me and pay my own way, because after all your family too!

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bergentulip · 01/02/2009 19:08

(the sitting by the lifts sounds awful reading back..... weirdly, it was lovely, and romantic, big sofa, big window over the city, quiet DH and me time,... shame we had to eat dinner at 6.30pm with the boys, but you can't have everything[!])

pavlovthecat · 01/02/2009 19:09

I did not realise he is 7 months? I would just take him in a car seat wit you. DH and I used to take DD with us all the time to restaurants and plonk her on a seat with a breadstick. Sometimes she fell asleep, sometimes she just ate breadsticks! When she became much much more active we stopped going with her as she got frustrated at sitting in the car seat.

shabster · 01/02/2009 19:10

I personally wouldnt - a few months after Madeline went missing we went on holiday to Rhodes, Greece. We have been going to the same hotel for the last ten years. I made my DS4 (then aged 10) wear a security alarm thing round his neck all the time - he was and and 'FGS Mother!!!' Even though we are very settled there and know all the staff and many of the local people I still would not let my 10 year old out of my sight. He thought it was great fun to set the alarm off occasionally - little sod!!

I just feel better safe than sorry. Anybody who is on holiday with you who doubts your decision I would personally ignore them.

IotasCat · 01/02/2009 19:11

I would leave a baby on a hotel room with a monitor and indeed have done so. However I would not contemplate going on a skiing holiday with a 7 month old- absolutely no fun whatsoever IMHO

Original poster
Mip · 01/02/2009 19:11

Deeblindmice, yes those days are over! He will occasionally sleep in a noisy place but only after exhausting himself by screaming. Could have him up with us on my knee as then he's very happy, but more than a couple of nights of this and he'd be too tired.

QOD, of course the Madeleine horror is in my mind. There are some quite important differences though, the room would be locked and not anyone can just wander around the hotel, and a monitor would I assume show if someone was coming in. I don't think they had one. But of course it makes one think very hard, as they felt 'family resort', what could happen etc etc.

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Mip · 01/02/2009 19:12

See lots posted while I was writing, have to go and eat supper now but will be back. Thank you again!

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PortAndLemon · 01/02/2009 19:13

I've done it in small hotels (one with ten rooms, one with about 20) before -- in both cases we really weren't any further away from the room than we would have been at home or at my mother's house. I wouldn't do it at a larger hotel (although DH would, and we've had Discussions on the subject). We've had hotel babysitters a couple of times when we've stayed in larger hotels.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that it was irresponsible to do it, though.

The holiday doesn't sound a huge amount of fun for you or your DS.

AccidentalMum · 01/02/2009 19:14

I have done this a few times in one hotel that we are very familiar with but have always booked a room next the the restaurant, certainly closer than the nursery would be in lots of houses! Also, go round unplugging everything in the room (not the monitor though). I had no problem relaxing.

Clary · 01/02/2009 19:23

I wouldn't do it personally.

In fact I have not done it - ie I stayed in a hotel when DS1 was about 12mo and we ate a very nice meal - with him there in his pushchair IIRC.

Certainly wasn't happy to leave him in a room very much elsewhere in the building. 500 rooms sounds like a big hotel to me btw but I'm not an expert.

BTW holiday sounds totally hideous and a waste of money for you - not to mention frustrating, if you enjoy skiing that is....

Horton · 01/02/2009 19:24

"I'm amazed that there are 7 month old babies who would sleep in a carseat in a busy dining room."

I went to Dublin with my daughter when she was just over six months and she slept happily in all kinds of restaurants and in the hotel bar, mainly in her buggy with a blanket over the top to shade it. But I appreciate not all babies would do this. It's definitely worth a try, though. For us, it meant the difference between a good holiday and one where one or other of us (mainly me as I was BF DD) was stuck in a hotel room all night. When she woke, I just fed her and had her on my lap and it was honestly absolutely fine. She didn't appear at all distressed by any of it and I got to have some lovely meals (although obv I was mainly ordering stuff I could eat with one hand).

CHEQUERSmate · 01/02/2009 19:29

I wouldn't do it but I wouldn't judge anyone for doing it.

I think you need to work out whether you're comfortable with it or not and act accordingly.

Mummyfor3 · 01/02/2009 19:32

Yes, would, and have done this with 2 DSs. Repeatedly. No problems.

We were in one particular hotel (old castle type thing) were the walls were too thick and the baby monitor did not work. Elderly couple in room next to our volunteered to call reception if there was any untoward noise from our rooom.

In the meantime with 3 darling mad active boys in tow we have opted to have self catering holidays instead .

Lemontart · 01/02/2009 19:32

No I wouldn?t do it. Just not worth the risk.

If you use a baby backpack while out there, please be aware that several babies every year die of hypothermia thanks to being in backpacks and parents just unaware how cold their children are getting. Real tragedy - first heard about it on a thread a while ago here on mumsnet. Just awful - please be aware and extra safe while away. x

Flightattendant9 · 01/02/2009 19:35

Wouldn't, couldn't, rightly or wrongly. Trust your instinct.

Flightattendant9 · 01/02/2009 19:38

I'd just hate to be that far away from him physically. I don't know why.

sharkyandgeorge · 01/02/2009 19:38

Not a chance in hell I would leave mine up in a room on their own, I would rather miss out on the meal and sit with them.

To be honest sod what 'most of the guests' or you SIL in law does, this is YOUR child if you don't feel comfortable with the idea then don't leave him.

Saying that if you do feel comfortable then don't let other people saying the wouldn't leave their DC's put you off, clearly lots of people have/do leave their DC's in a hotel room.

FeelingLucky · 01/02/2009 19:39

I wouldn;t do it.
When we were on hols, I carried 12 month old DD in an ergo sling on my back and she slept like that. Meant that we managed to go to bars and restaurants in evenings with her in Paris. When she stirred, I just went to a quiet corner and rocked her back to sleep, or walked round the block.

MollieO · 01/02/2009 19:42

I wouldn't for two reasons. Firstly what if there was a fire and you weren't allowed to go back to the hotel room? Secondly, how would you know that the noises you might here on the baby monitor are in fact those of your baby? Most monitors only have a certain frequency/channels and so the chances of interference are high. This happened on our skiing holiday this year. Two sets of parents with babies frequently went back to their room to settle their child only to discover he/she was asleep. Not a problem as we are in a chalet so it was only a case of going down a flight of stairs to the bedroom.

Everyone makes different assessments on what they would and wouldn't do with their children. Couldn't you share the babysitting with your family?

TheWheelsOnTheBusHaveFallenOff · 01/02/2009 19:44

To OP - think you have lots of good advice on the skiing hotel / baby monitor dilemma. Just had to post at the "family" holiday to Oman that doesn't include you and your son??? That seems extraordinary. WOuld have thought you would be better spending your & DH's cash on you joining that party and not bothering to go on the skiing holiday, especially as it sounds as though you won't be doing any skiing and it is not a very baby-friendly venue.

Also just a word of caution on the backpack thing - you need to be careful how long you keep the baby out in one of those for when you're walking in - you'll be toasty and warm working up a sweat and your little one is effectively sitting still in what is a pretty cold climate. obviously depends on how sunny it is etc etc, how well you layer him etc etc but it is very easy to forget that he could be getting very cold while you think it's quite warm. sorry to add to the general worries!

Mumsnut · 01/02/2009 19:47

We did, nervously, when ds was 4m leave him in a hotel room while we went to the reataurant. The hotel is small, about 10 rooms, and we thought it would be safe.

The first night, there was a fire. The hotel staff tried to stop us running upstairs to get him and we mowed them down. We were on the top floor. Horrible scary. We got him down and out of the building and would NEVER leave him again.

angel1976 · 01/02/2009 20:14

I second what TheWheelsOnTheBusHaveFallenOff said... We were talking with some friends from Switzerland about going skiing (when DS will be about almost 2) and whether it will be okay to bring DS. They told us of a horror story (could be an urban myth) about some parent who strapped their child to their back and went skiing. The child (apparently) had the bits that were exposed frozen off cos it was so cold and the parent was none the wider... I know it's all worst-case scenarios but better be cautious than sorry!

oranges · 01/02/2009 20:18

Have you been on holiday with your little one yet? This trip sounds like it will be really tough on you. I'd really consider not going, in case you get put off holidaying with baby for life! There are much nicer ways to take a baby on holiday than a skiing holiday.