Is there anyone here who doesn't 'do' the whole Father Xmas thing...

[TattooedGrrrl]

...or the tooth fairy / Easter bunny etc?

DH and i were discussing whether to do the Father Xmas thing with our kids (they are very small at the moment), and we don't really see the point. We DO celebrate on Xmas Day, but we aren't religious. We do have gifts and a special meal, but we don't really buy into the heavily commercial side of it all.

If you don't do it, do you get much bother from family / friends? Does it cause problems with school friends who 'believe' in him?

(and please, i am NOT critising anyone who DOES do it, i'm just wondering how parents who don't find it)

themildmanneredaxemurderer - I was very earnest . But then, I was about a lot of things when DS was small - I've lightened up a lot since then, after a while you discover that they seem to grow up fine no matter how you think you've fucked up.

I'm shocked by the "He's watching, you have to be good" attitude some people have seen - how can people do that to their children?

We were never brought up to believe in those things. We did celebrate Christmas and I have beautiful memories of them. It's about family, not some fictional fat bloke creeping round your house. I don't intend to tell ds there is a santa, it is just too disappointing when they realise it's a lie. I never had that disappointment and my Christmases were all magical and exciting!

Another good thing FC does for us is he always takes a toy away with him to give to others - great way of having abit of a clear out without a tantrum!

Sorry but I still love FC and going to see him now (at 30) is still magical.

Having been raised Catholic "God" was always watching us making sure we were good all year round.

We do the whole FC thing but NOT like others do where everything under the tree is from him.

The boys get a token gift from FC like pants or socks and a bag of chocolate coins, the rest of the presents (and there aren't huge piles) are from us. We see our family on Christmas day and other family members just before Christmas where they give the boys presents to be opened there and then.

This gives them the sense of who the presents are from.

We do the toothfairy due to peer pressure but no Easter Bunny.

I think we lie to children all the time in many ways, we make excuses as to why X doesn't want to play with them or why Z is so mean to other children. FC to me is a nice lie

Love the whole fantasy, magical FC thingie - as a child I loved it too.
The only thing I do different is that FC comes to replace all the broken old pens, crayons, playdough etc. That way DS has the magic of Xmas but also knows that the big pressies come from relatives, friends, Mummy and Daddy.

In fact we do wot fizzylemonade does.

Oh gosh, I loved stories and imaginative stuff as a kid. Loved Christmas and Father Christmas, and wanted to believe it for way longer than prob sensible, then loved keeping the story for my little sisters... no trauma, don't really feel lied to - even though the tooth fairy used to write me teeny tiny notes back courtesy of my lovely dad .

I sort of agree with MorningPaper in the whole camp, enjoying the story thing (dd is now 2.5 so we will def have FC this year...). Dd is very imaginative like I was and loves pretending that Peter Pan is coming to the shops with her - is it true? Sort of, in her mind. See, FC and the tooth fairy do exist anyway, in the parents who pretend and bring the story alive.

I loved the magic of Father Christmas even after I stopped believing - came from a big family so tradition carried on for years. And I have loved passing that on to DS who really enjoys that part of Christmas. But unlike some, he just has a stocking of small gifts from FC - all the tree presents are from family and friends and he knows how much love and generosity have gone into them.

We are not religious but I make sure he knows the Christmas story and understands that it's not just about getting stuff.

I don't feel disrespected by my parents, btw, for letting me believe in FC, iloveautumn!

And we never use the FC is watching you line!

I don't get why all the presents shouldn't be from santa. Enlighten me please.

We're Pagans so don't do Xmas, Easter etc etc obviously. We give DS one small gift on each of our major festivals. He's only 16 months old but when he's older he'll know it's come from us. His birthday is a week from our big summer solstice festival which will be quite nice for him, and we do let his grandparents send Xmas gifts - we just open them on 21st December (Yule) rather than 25th.

DH has our festivals off work rather than the christian ones (company is very progressive and lets employees have extra days leave rather than bank holidays). We make an effort to have a nice outing and a big family meal as well. I don't think he's missing out on much.

If I was a christian all the crass commercialism, drunkenness, and over-indulgence that has attached itself to Xmas, Easter, Halloween etc would really piss me off.

Also when you're little it's a long time to wait for all your gifts - once a year and your birthday, as your interests and tastes change so quickly. i think it's nicer to have the gifts spread out through the year

I believe in giving children magic. I can still remember the excitement and wonder of Christmas Eve. Luckily my parents provided it and I gave it to my DCs in turn, I have no doubt that they will do the same if they have children.

problem with FC is then some kids wonder why they get hardly any presents while others get thousands spent on them. They spot that quite quickly sadly enough.

I'm unsure about this one. I don't like telling children stuff that is basically a lie but we may go along with it in a small way - especialy since many of her friends probably will. Dd is massively into fairies and I'm finding I don't have the heart to say they don't exist.

Father Christmas isn't a lie, he's a story. BIG difference. Myth and legend and fairy tales and magic are an intrinsic part of childhood - why else have these stories persisted for hundreds or even thousands of years across different cultures?

There's a reason why lots of different countries have a Cindarella story and lots of different cultures have a Hansel and Gretel story and so on and so on.

As for getting hung up about being strictly truthful to children, show me a parent who never, ever lies. Who never tells a child off for saying something true but unkind such as 'why has that lady got a beard, Mummy?' Or pretends that the shop has run out of lollies, or a dozen other handy stories that get you through the day ("if the wind changes, your face will stay like that").

Much of the school curriculum is not quite true, because the full story of the genetics of eye colour is too complex to explain in the context of GSCE biology, for instance - hence lots of perfectly sensible adults thinking brown-eyed parents can't have a blue-eyed child.

DH and I won't be teaaching DD about FC nor tooth fairy, etc. I wasn't taught about them as a child, I don't feel that I missed out! Agree with SqueakyPop that FC sends the messagee that Christmas is all about getting pressies.

We are Christian and did the Father Christmas thing with our children but not in a big way. Father Christmas bought stocking stuff and all other presents came from us and other relations.

i kind of do, but am v half hearted about it. i appreciate its fun an all that but when pressed i really cant see the point of lying to them. and tbh, I want the glory of having done all the plotting, planning and buying of all those pressies!

We don't do it but it does raise a few eyebrows and accusations of being a Scrooge/destroying the magic etc.

I wholeheartedly 'do' the Father Christmas thing. Have even been known to make sparkly footprints on the floor! Not bothered what other people do, or even if someone tells DS it's not real. He believes it anyway.

And what's more, I tell DS that the burglar alarm sensors are 'Santa-Cams', and when they flash that means he's watching. He treats this as a joke (as it's meant) and joins in with it though.

I definitely think there's an element of 'humouring' adults that gets a bit stronger year by year.

Exactly LadyLaGore!

We don't - I don't agree with it at all for a number of reasons. However, evidently dd has absorbed it all anyway - as tonight, she piped up with "Mummy, I think I should buy Father Christmas a present because otherwise who's going to get him one?" I just say it's a story....but I have no intention of fabricating a story which I have to elaborate year on year, only for them to find out eventually that it's a lie...

I think that if you didn't experience the sheer magic of it all as a child you would find it difficult to pass it on to your child.
I find the whole argument about a 'lie' very strange. The girl next door told me the truth when I was 6, I didn't believe her so stayed awake. I thought it was a lovely 'lie' even at that age and kept it up for my siblings.
My DCs have all had the magic and kept it up for the younger ones. I am sure that it will stay with them all their lives-children need magic IMO.
I am a firm believer in Father Christmas and always will be.

Agree with AbbeyA, I would guess most of us are continuing the traditions we had in childhood - with some more added!