so do you pry in other kids school bags when they come home for tea?

[sneakypeak]

I always have a look to see what reading book theyre on/ what the standard of their work is compared to my dcs.

am i sneaky / sad or is this just normal human curiosity?

I agree scaryfucker.

I also ask them what their parents do for a living. - Have had some interesting (althogh not very enlightening) answers!

I have to say I have only done this a couple of times, when mine were much younger.

But I believe it is human nature to do so.

I also interrogate ask polite questions about how the kids my children spend time with live their life eg. parents profession, how much homework they have, what time they are allowed out until (currently having problems with teenage dd in this area) etc etc. Nothing too personal, just to get an idea about whether this is a nice family or not.

And before I get people jumping on me about what is a "nice" family, I count most things as OK. I draw the line at "daddy is in prison" and "mummy smokes weed all day", you know, that kinda thing.

LynetteScavo - if you would have asked DS2 what his dad did for a living - he would have told you he worked on pylons! Which is a total load of tosh!

I've never even thought about doing this. Children come over to play with my kids, not so I can rummage through their stuff. I ask the children's teachers if I want to know how they are doing. If I'm interested in other children, and am friends with their parents then I ask them.

I have "accidentally" seen what reading book they're on but wouldn't go so far as to open the book with the teacher's and parent's comments. Feel like there's a big difference - the second is like reading someone's diary.

I did look at the reading record of another child, but only because it had come home with DS by mistake and I didn't realise until I'd opened it.....honest gov.

scary
tbh it fucking annoys me when people call me a liar.

My middle son has very profound SN. I genuinely am very grateful that DD is talking and appears very happy.
Honestly, honestly don't give a flying crap how your child, or any others , are doing in comparison to her.

That may not be your view of the world. But just because mine is different does not make me a liar.

I don't look because I am pushy. I know that DS2 and 3 have problems with reading, there teachers do too we have discussed it, the books they are given are ok for their level. I am just interested in the what the norm is, and yes, I agree that human nature plays a part in it too.

The thread that kicked off about this was started by the crappy Dail Mail journo who then went on to write a piece about it and use her 'research' from here. It was a shit piece, badly written and made her and more importantly, her daughter, look like right wankers.

Why would you draw the line at 'Daddy's in prison'? My son's best friend's father was in and out of jail all the time. He was the prison chaplain.

LOL suedonim!
I wouldn't look in a bookbag - too many times my son has forgotten his proper readin book and any old book ends up in the bag.

I'd ask the teacher if I wanted to know about my son's progress.

I do think looking in the reading diary is a step too far, though - I wouldn't do that, and I do phrase what I write in DSs reading diary carefully, just incase a nosey parent someone other than the class teacher or TA decides to read it.

Oh, and rumour has it, one of the dads was in prison for GBH, but he seems like a nice calm bloke at the school gates - and I would be quite happy to have his son to our house.

no but then I a few of my dc friends catch the same bus in a morning and they are reading their reading books very often so I know anyway

I don't. but then, I never bring bookbags home as I meet the mums at school (all the children I bring home have siblings so the mums are always up at the school anyway collecting the other children.

if they did bring their bags home, I wouldn't.

and I would feel very sad if I thought that other mums were peeking in my kiddies stuff......what an invasion of my childs privacy. and I have to be honest.......if I found it out, I would never let my child back to play either!

Quite honestly, when ds2 was primary school-age, he had such severe asthma that we were more interested in keeping him alive than in seeing exactly how he shaped up next to his peers. As it was, he didn't do wonderfully well at school but blossomed later on and now has a PhD.

oh, and just to add........I have three children who are dyslexic. they are very behind in reading, and are often embarrassed enough about how behind they are, without their friends mums looking and sneering about what level they are on.

I would never do this, why does it matter? You know if your child is where you think they should be, so why should you want to pry into other children's lives? Do you laugh at them if they are a lower standard or something? Or does it give you an inflated sense of better parenting? I'm just happy that dd has friends atm tbh-she's been through such a rough time that any friend is a godsend.

This has really never crossed my mind.
What's the point in knowing what level their friends are on?

I would never do this.

It is weird and a bit trag.

That is horrible. Really creepy.

< checks previous posts >

nope, did not use the word liar

the word I used is fibber which is generally thought to be less inflammatory and more tongue-in-cheek than liar

anybody who put an inflammatory spin on my words by misquoting me is taking them too seriously

No, I don't. Never have done.

Mind you this year I wouldnt need to as I elp out weekly anyway, so I know exactly what level each child is at in different aspects of the school curriculum. But TBH I am just not interested in that way.

So long as DD is doing her best making positive progress and not struggling at school - that is my only interest.

I'm having visions of these prying mothers with spreadsheets on their computers and asking children to play on a strict rota basis so that all data can be carefully monitored.