so do you pry in other kids school bags when they come home for tea?

[sneakypeak]

I always have a look to see what reading book theyre on/ what the standard of their work is compared to my dcs.

am i sneaky / sad or is this just normal human curiosity?

PsychoAxeMurdererMum - I can honestly say I wouldn't give a toss.

Also if a another child's parent looked in my DCs' book bags I wouldn't be offended.

I love the way you lot can bl;ow stuff so out of proportion, SAHM versus WOHM (guess which one I am) Helicopter parents, class, housing WTF?

I'm amazed people get so hysterical about this!

Yes I have looked at visiting children's reading books occasionally in the past to reassure myself that my dc was there or thereabouts. I think it's helpful to know where your child is in relation to their peers, and judging by the people on this thread, asking another mother where their child was is a one way ticket to social pariah-dom!

And I'm sure people have looked in my dc's book bags when they have been visiting and I woudn't mind at all. And I hope it put their minds at rest.

Ds has dyslexia and when a mother phoned me up just to tell me that she had looked at her sons friends reading book and guess what hes on :then slagged the poor lad off for the level he was on.I lost it with her my DS is below that level
She never phoned me again

Its not just the reading book its also the parent/teacher book thats in the school bag

hence like I said earlier I don`t let dc take their bags to playdates straight after school .Because some parents do read them

monkey, that is horrible

but that is vindictive

not what the original premise of this thread was about

If a parent asked me about school, reading I answer them truthfully

but its the snooping thats wrong

If they want to know ASK

Meghalegs and scaryfucker: Sorry - I don't usually go around randomly spitting out profanities at people. I have had a very bad day & I apologise.

However, I do have strong feelings about invading children's privacy, and think what you're doing is very odd. Surely children need to trust in the adults in their lives?

Meghalegs - it was the OP who said her child is on a higher level etc, not you.

very odd behaviour

gosh, people amaze me sometimes. all this stuff goes right over my head. why on earth would it matter what some other kid was reading? or what their parents did?

pondering

well.....I am glad that you would be a bit about it, as it is the same feeling I'll bet other mums may have about you looking. I know it is human nature to be curious, and most of us want to believe that out child is the best at what they do.....and that they are holding their own against the other children in the class

BUT

with three of my children being very far behind in their reading thro having learning difficulties, and therefore them being very made aware at times of that by other children, I would be firstly very bloody angry if someone invaded their privacy in this manner, and also heartbroken that someone who I considered a possible friend (as that is what anyone who has one of my children is) would do this, just to try and make themselves feel better about their OWN child.

Actually I wouldn't. But then I wouldn't check through my friend's handbag when she goes to the loo either. Besides, I've never been that interested in ORT levels.

Speaking for checking labels. I used to work in a nursery where staff checked labels in childrens clothes, hence when dd went to nursery I refused to put her in clothes from asda and places like that as they used to take the piss in the staffroom at the one I worked at if kids had ethal austins clothes etc (in baby room) now I dont give a shit.

Apology accepted MoistWorldOfSquelchedBrains.

I understand what you are saying.

But I think people are overanalysing.

Or I am naive.

In my world, I have sneaked a peek about twice many years ago. I have got over myself now [smile}. It was just my insecurity I guess, not to be used in any vindictive way at all, nor shared with anyone else.

Am I such a bad person? Or human? Or just honest?

Why is it so secret? I don't consider my ds's book bag to be his own private kingdom! I don't go into his room without knocking, but I do go into his school bag!

PsychoAxeMurdererMum - hearbroken, really? That's a bit extreme isn't it?

Not sure who your post is aimed at but I have looked in the past because my two also have reading difficulties. I can assure you it didn't make me feel better to see what their friends were reading

Why is the assumption always that the evil book bag peeking mother must be some smug uber mother who wants to gloat FFS?

Try looking at it from another perspective rather than the default MN one for a change

That post was a general one to all the outraged, not you personally physco

scaryfucker your just being honest

I am really touchy cos of when this parent phoned
Its a real issue at school at moment not no parents are allowed to read in Dc classes cos 3 parents have been caught going through reading records and parent/teacher book

I just think it's being very nosy and very impolite to do so. Again if you are that bothered ask the teacher or the parent but snooping?
Cory, pmsl at your response.

No, this has never occurred to me.

are you the packed lunch box lady in disguise?

I would be heartbroken, yes, but only because I have gone thro several years of tears from my 12yo DD2 about her dyslexia now, and it kind of hits a nerve, especially as both her brothers are also now flagged as being dyslexic and are finally getting the appropriate support. Not before time I have to say, but all a bit late for DD2 and DS1 as they are very sensitive about it now and it therefore has had an effect on us all.

and.......it can lead to bullying, which is even worse.

It is human nature, I get that.....and I can see (a little), why you would do it, but the problem then comes if you mention it to your child, who then goes into school and mentions it to another child, and then, like chinese whispers it goes around the class and before you know it my child is being teased because some mum made a comment. children can be very cruel, this I know, and that is why, yes, I would be heartbroken.

I am not in any way suggesting that any of you here would do that, (the commenting to your own child), but it can happen, and does.

I have checked the labels in childrens coats (only nice ones to see where they are from; NEXT, actually)

It is interesting to know what other people do for a living; It's going to come up in polite conversation with the parents at some point anyway.

I also ask; names and ages of siblings, and
they do with their parents at weekends (the child usually offers this anyway)

btw wouldnt bother me.dd is bit behind with reading but catching up,ds1 is dyslexic-if it bothers any so be it.same as i couldnt care less what reading level theyre friends are on etc-doesnt affect friendship or whether theyll be invited back.

No, and if you looked in my bag I would never talk to you again and would most likely punch you. Hard.

OK, so what if your child went to a friends house and came back with something missing from their bag, and then piped up "I saw x's mum go through it". What then? You'd be in a very tricky position. Peeking into an open bag is one thing, but rummaging around and/or taking things out is just wrong. Just because it is a child doesn't mean you have any right to be looking through it. A parent is totally another kettle of fish. You have a very good reason to go through the bag, whether for homework, reading, or other stuff you need to know. No other parent has any right at all.