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Parenting

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Original poster

Why are things always ruined by uncivilsed people?

212 replies

PlasterCaster · 03/08/2008 18:22

My DH has two weeks off work so started taking DS to a pre-school group last week. He started on the monday and DH said a couple of kids were mean to him, pushing him away from toys and ganging up on him.

On wednesday on the way there two boys ran up behind DS and started saying "woooo!" and putting their hands up like ghosts. DS got all upset and hid behind DH and apparantly DH and the kids mothers just laughed it off although DH was secretely annoyed that they didn't tell their kids off.
Thursday it happened again and DS went into the group crying his eyes out because of the ghost things on the way there so as they were walking home DH asked the women if they could have a word with their kids about scaring DS as its started to put him off the group. They apparantly grinned at each other but agreed

Anyway on Friday they were on their way there and apparantly as the women walked past DH they said "woooo!" in his ear and burst out laughing to each other DH burst out crying and they ended up coming home early and now both are saying they don't want to go anymore.

I'm so annoyed that a group of thugs are spoiling this for them. DH doesn't get much time off work as it is.

I'm debating whether I should take DS tomorow and tell the women to leave DS and DH alone or would this make it worse??? either way I don't want them to stop going, why should they?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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ExterminAitch · 03/08/2008 21:46

personally i think that being accused of being a troll if you knew you weren't would be preferable to being told 'get a grip' if you were genuinely depressed. one casts doubt on your truthfulness on a stupid website, the just adds to the ridicule.

mylovelymonster · 03/08/2008 21:50

I am so ashamed of MN sometimes...........

Rhubarb · 03/08/2008 21:56

oh, so we should just let her get on with the notion that these people are uncivilised?

Would that be better?

Reaffirm her notions that everyone is out to bully her kids and her dh? That attitude doesn't help. It really doesn't.

But advice is just that. She doesn't have to take any notice of mine, there are lots of supportive posts on here.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

ExterminAitch · 03/08/2008 21:57

those people ARE uncivilised.

Rhubarb · 03/08/2008 21:59

To a paranoid depressive, yes.

You only have one side of the story here.

Those people who smirked at me when I was pregnant, who whispered about me, who stared at me were also uncivilised. Only they didn't. I just thought they did.

Janus · 03/08/2008 21:59

mylovelymonster, I'm sorry but I'm not following, are you ashamed because she needs more support? I think some people have given valid advice but are worried that maybe this isn't a true story. It is an unusual story but if it is true I believe a lot of people would be worried for the whole family.

LuckySalem · 03/08/2008 22:01

I can't believe what MN seems to be turning into.

Just cos the situation doesn't seem realistic doesn't mean it isn't. Your all really not helping her... If you don't believe it don't answer it but don't rip the piss.

OP - If you DH is getting this upset then he REALLY needs to speak to someone, I can understand him not wanting to as I know my DP would be humiliated if someone knew he was that upset.
It sounds like he misses the fact that he doesn't see his son very often. Can he cut back his hours so he sees him more? Is this a possiblilty for you?
As for the child getting bulied in school I think you need to speak to your boy again and explain that when people are nasty to him he should just walk away. If its really bad tell a teacher.
As for not wanting to go to pre-school can you all walk together tomorrow? Don't antagonise the situation with the woman and the kids just laugh it off - see if you can get DS to do the "woooo" with them? Perhaps if you all take the walk together (or skip or something fun) it'll take his mind off what happened?

ExterminAitch · 03/08/2008 22:01

right, so you are operating on the basis that the OP is a troll, but if it isn't then it's the wife of a paranoid depressive whose illness is sufficiently severe that he is imagining women running up behind him shouting 'woooohoooooh' like ghosts?

and he should 'get a grip' is your best shot? okay.

Rhubarb · 03/08/2008 22:02

Who is taking the piss?

Giving valid advice and sharing experiences is not taking the piss. Just because it's not dripping in sympathy does not mean to say it's taking the piss.

No-one on this thread has taken the piss and you can understand folk getting suspicious.

ExterminAitch · 03/08/2008 22:03

have you read the thread? it's piss-taking from the start. troll or not, the whole thing is in poor taste.

Rhubarb · 03/08/2008 22:04

Aitch, I didn't say he was imagining that, but you only have his word for it. And fwiw the OP said that the mother's didn't make those noises, their children did.

Rhubarb · 03/08/2008 22:05

The OP has had a LOT of supportive messages. And to be quite frank, yes I do think it's a troll. So shoot me. But at least I'm not taking the piss. So why are you taking offence on behalf of the OP?

LuckySalem · 03/08/2008 22:05

Rhubarb - Sorry but people have taken the piss, Laughing about the fact that a man cried over a hamster dying. People get upset over their pets!! Even men..

People suggesting its her fault he's depressed - I don't know who but someone hinted that she'd killed it on purpose?! I mean.. come on!

ExterminAitch · 03/08/2008 22:06

"Anyway on Friday they were on their way there and apparantly as the women walked past DH they said "woooo!" in his ear and burst out laughing to each other."

i read this as the women saying it as they walked past.

Rhubarb · 03/08/2008 22:07

Probably because they read it as a troll.

But this thread has 189 messages and the piss-taking ones are in the minority.

mylovelymonster · 03/08/2008 22:09

The OP has been thoroughly ridiculed and poked fun of here. That is also uncivilised.

There is a lot more beneath the original post which needs attention - the OP is understandably angry that those she loves have been upset, when they should have been having some fun time together - perhaps a laughable situation to, well, most here it would seem - but there are other more pressing issues underlying why they were upset and why she was/is angry.

She will never return, I guess, and who could possibly blame her?

wannaBe · 03/08/2008 22:09

but the children were not bullying her child. They were making ghost noises. 5 year olds do that. Would it have been considered bullying if they were making train noises? car noises? So the op's ds didn't like ghost noises. Tbh I think that's his problem not the other children's.

I don't think anyone is taking the piss out of depression here. But if the op is trolling she is making light of depression to get a laugh from other posters and that is what is wrong with it.

Op has been here since today. And already she's writing about issues with her dh's depression, on a website she has never previously visited. Not only that, but she's coming back to add to the story periodically. Most first time posters met with this kind of response wouldn't stick around for more.

Rhubarb · 03/08/2008 22:09

"The woman didn't do noises to DS, just the kids. "

"She crept up behind him and shouted the wooo thing in his ear."

Inconsistent.

The hamster was also his, not the dc's apparently.

ExterminAitch · 03/08/2008 22:11

i'm not taking offence on behalf of the OP, what's that supposed to mean? quite a few people said 'get a grip' and where i come from that is considered very rude so i dislike it intensely and said that. You seem to have taken it personally, if anything.

as for the entire thread.

it's probably a troll.
it's in poor taste if so, as the story has emerged it has provoked people to first of all laugh at the Very Idea of a man crying and then later at his depression.
if it isn't a troll, then people have been taking the piss out of someone with depression, speaking very harshly and criticising the parenting style of someone who isn't very capable at the moment.
which is also in poor taste.

2shoes · 03/08/2008 22:12

a lot of people have been supportive or asked questions, yet the op has not really replied to them IMO.

LuckySalem · 03/08/2008 22:12

Wannabe - I agree that the kid isn't really getting bullied by the Wooo noises. But the playgroup thing is bullying or very close to it.

Have you thought about the fact that his depression has taken a toll on her now and she's using the annonymity fact that people don't know her to post about it?

Yes I spose it can seem unrealistic but there's no need to be mean. If you don't believe it don't post.

LuckySalem · 03/08/2008 22:13

Oh Wannabe - I just read that and it looks bad. Only the first line is meant specifically for you. The rest is a general statement.

Rhubarb · 03/08/2008 22:13

Don't get defensive aitch, I'm responding to your posts, if you don't want me to then fine.

I think it's a troll too but I've given my opinion. Which is not a piss-take. Sorry that seems to have offended you, it was not meant to offend you or anyone.

ruddynorah · 03/08/2008 22:15

bizarre.

is this for real?

even with the hamster?

2shoes · 03/08/2008 22:15

why would a 5 year old be at pre school in the summer holidays and need his dad to stay(confused)

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