Why are things always ruined by uncivilsed people?

[PlasterCaster]

My DH has two weeks off work so started taking DS to a pre-school group last week. He started on the monday and DH said a couple of kids were mean to him, pushing him away from toys and ganging up on him.

On wednesday on the way there two boys ran up behind DS and started saying "woooo!" and putting their hands up like ghosts. DS got all upset and hid behind DH and apparantly DH and the kids mothers just laughed it off although DH was secretely annoyed that they didn't tell their kids off.
Thursday it happened again and DS went into the group crying his eyes out because of the ghost things on the way there so as they were walking home DH asked the women if they could have a word with their kids about scaring DS as its started to put him off the group. They apparantly grinned at each other but agreed

Anyway on Friday they were on their way there and apparantly as the women walked past DH they said "woooo!" in his ear and burst out laughing to each other DH burst out crying and they ended up coming home early and now both are saying they don't want to go anymore.

I'm so annoyed that a group of thugs are spoiling this for them. DH doesn't get much time off work as it is.

I'm debating whether I should take DS tomorow and tell the women to leave DS and DH alone or would this make it worse??? either way I don't want them to stop going, why should they?

Thanks for the link Aitch.

Would really like to know if PC is for real, because if yes then she really really needs to get help for her dh.

Whether or not this is real then it isn't nice.

Either this is happening and her DH needs some help.

Or this is a troll who feels that it would be in some way funny for this to happen. I don't particularly find poking fun at people with depression to be an amusing thing to do.

not funny either way really

and when you say cry I assume you don't mean full on wailing but more of a welling up and some tears. Anyone feeling down down can well up and feel tearful at silly things, including people taking the piss and dead pets. Has no-one on this thread felt upset when their children are sad or when their pets die or is a hamster such a 'silly' pet it doesn't warrant the same emotional reaction as a longer serving family member like a cat. I felt upset when my fish got finrot.

Crying is probably a sign of needing help, if it's true, which it doesn't appear to be but still, the ridicule seems odd here.

Oh god, aren't you being a bit PC here? I would NEVER laugh at anyone with any kind of depression having known people with it but this all seems a bit ridiculous and people with depression do not cry over ghost noises etc. If OP had said husband was worried over losing job and consequences, etc, everyone would have been very supportive and suggest various ways to help, the main one being that, indeed, husband needs help.

I am more perturbed at it being considered a good joke to be laughing about someone with depression crying.

Not especially PC, just someone who does have depression, so it touches a bit of a nerve.

Erm, I welled up when our fish died. I didn't cry in public triggered by some kids making woowoo noises and I think that's the difference.
It's not a good thing to do in public especially if you have your DC with you.
If it's real, the guy needs help, if it's not then in poor taste as has been said already

Where is the OP?

Idris, I don't think people are laughing at the thought of depression, I certainly am not. It's the odd way each bit of the story is dropped in.
I am very sorry if I offended you, I really didn't mean to.

I am not having a laugh here. I realise that DH's reaction was over the top but as I said, it wasn't the noises that made him cry, it was everything and the fact that he was suddenly humiliated in front of everyone with his son on a week he had been looking foward to for months. If you lot can't see that then I give up.

I didn't explain the spilt black current very well, he didn't cry because he'd spilt it, it was because his father tried to ridicule him over it, not entirely unusual for him and he just happened to get DH on a bad day.

And no depression isn't funny. Neither is some silly cow copying off her 5 year old to upset someone who had the balls to tell her to make her kid behave.

Plaster if this is real then you need to act NOW. You must realise your dh's behaviour is seriously worrying and he needs to go to the GP and discuss. So what if he does need anti-ds, they are used to help just his sort of behaviour. Aren't you seriously worried about him?

yes I am worried. I have been worried for ages, even before the threat of his job loss he was getting upset easily. How do you make a grown man visit a gp?

You sit down and tell him you love him and that you are really worried about him, that he has a lot to deal with and you think the GP may be able to help, either with medicine or with counselling. Offer to go with him/make the appointment or whatever it takes to get him there.

it sounds funny, crying at a ghost noise, but I think I might feel upset if I had mentioned my child being upset to some parents and then they took the piss. I mean it's not that ridiculous to feel upset by this just because the action, the woo-woo, sounds farcical. Yes, crying is over the top but you do get upset over silly things when you are already feeling a bit down.

It is funny.

i would stop blaming the women and children-the kids were just acting like kids and the women just sound pathetic.they dont need to be dealt with.you need to point out to your dh that he has overreacted and this suggests he is ill.

good luck though

I can empathise with what redundancy can do to a grown man. My DH is going through this at the moment. He has been excellent at his job the last 20 years, but due to cost cuts and his seniority he is losing his job. It has knocked his confidence hugely and there have been times when he's been upset/angry/afraid of the future and not finding something else - he is 44 and in a rapidly contracting professional sector. We do not have the worries others have though - we will not lose our house, and we will be fine. DH looks like he has two strong options in the near future, so psycologically in a much better position than a month ago.
I think the worst thing was feeling out of control - having the rug pulled out from underneath you - being worried about what the future will bring, and I can imagine he would become depressed if his notice period ends and he has nothing in place.

When you're feeling vulnerable, things that seem very trivial to most can really affect you, and you may not realise how bad it is until you actually find yourself having a fit of rage or crying for very little apparent reason.

The only thing I can suggest is talking about everything, how he's feeling, what steps you can possibly take to tide yourselves over and plan for the future. Actively making constructive steps to correct what's going wrong can be very positive, and your DH needs to get immediate health professional support to see him through this very difficult phase.

I'm sorry playgroup turned out to be so disappointing, but it's not the end of the world. People are allowed to be over-sensitive when their life seems to be falling apart.
The future will be much brighter, I'm sure of it.
Best of luck xxxx

If your kids see you, their parents, behaving like this then no wonder they are sensitive. Do you not see what you are doing to them?

If they get upset at some kid making ghost noises then how the hell are they going to cope at school? I mean, really?????

I suggest you both seek help, get a grip and stop making your children in the image of yourselves. You ain't doing them any favours here.

Rhubarb - I think you're being a bit too judgemental. You don't know these people after all.

Why would someone lie about something lie this? Maybe someone just wants a bit of impartial advice, it's the internet after all.

However if this is not a troll whether DH is depressed or not is pretty irrelevant to the story. The OP, who has not suggested that she has any sort of mental illness, appears to think a couple of 5 year old kids and their mothers were bullying her child by making ghost noises!!!!

Unfotunately if this is true the OP is bringing up her DS to be a perfect target for bullies if this is the way his parents (depression or not) react the a perfectly ordinary case of boys being boys. Get a grip!!

No monster, I don't, but assuming this is serious I do have the benefit of having had severe depression and knowing the effect that can have on the people around you.

Imagine how the children felt having their dad burst into tears at the ghost noises too? Surely that makes it worse for them? How can they ever get over their fears if their parents are fearful themselves?

I'm scared of spiders, yet my kids don't know this because I never ever wanted them to inherit my fears. It has worked, they love bugs! I had to face my fear on a number of occasions and even lie as to why I was sleeping in dd's bed instead of my own, but you do that because you don't want your kids growing up in fear.

The OP needs to take a good look at herself and her attitude, and get a grip and DO SOMETHING instead of just moaning about it like it's everyone else's fault.

(not that I think this is a real post)

hate 'get a grip', it's so RUDE.

taking the OP alone at face value - if a grown man tells two grown women that their children are upsetting his child and could they have a word, and their response is instead to mimic the behaviour and ptsl, they are being obnoxious and ill-mannered.

My thoughts aswell to be honest Roboshua.
They're children at the end of the day and to upset other children is a no-no so parents need to instill that in their children i think. Parents do not want to see their kids upset, it's upsetting to see chldren picked on and when you're quite nice yourself it's hard to try and arm your kids with the ammo they need, if you know what i mean.

It sounds that this family is facing a very uncertain future, and that they are all on edge. This post may simply be OPs way of working off some of her anxiety and frustration, and maybe - just maybe - get just a tiny bit of support.

Yes it's rude, it's meant to be. Sometimes you get so depressed you think everyone and everything is against you. Sometimes you need the equivalent of a slap in the face to make you realise that you are the unreasonable one.

The whole post stinks of her dh being a paranoid depressive, imagining them looking at him, laughing at him, I've imagined all of that too.

But what makes me suspicious are the details, they don't ring true.

But I post a reply anyway, just in case. It would be ruder to simply scream "TROLL" would it not?