Dh using the lounge tv for gaming

[turquoiseshone]

We have a 10 year old who stays up until 9 on school nights and 10 weekends.
She likes to sit with us in the evening but Dh used the lounge tv for gaming.
She does have a tv in her room but doesn’t want to spend her evenings in her room and her younger sister is in bed at 7 and they share a room.
She gets bored and wants to watch tv but Dh wants to game.
I don’t think this is fair as the kids get older and stay up later.

Adults who game all the time give me the ick. He needs to do it somewhere else.

I agree. There’s only so many years that they want to spend time with you in the evening, before they want to disappear and do their own thing, so it’s nice to be able to spend some time with them.

I'm a bit torn...if she is wanting to watch "kid" shows that you and dh would have no interest in, then I think thats as unreasonable as him wanting to game on that TV.

Other than when having board game or specific film nights with the kids, generally me and dh pick would pick what was on the main tv in an evening, and if this wasn't something suitable for young kids (when they were young, they are old teens now) then our kids would be sent to their rooms to read/draw/play/watch tv once it was evening, so that we could have us time.

What do you do while dh games? If he's monopolising the TV and you would like to watch it together, then thats unreasonable. If you tend to do your own thing in an evening, and aren't bothered about TV, then maybe a compromise of certain nights he doesn't use it and certain nights he does, and thats when dd does something else?

A lounge should be communal so ALL the family gather there if they choose

He is being an absolutely selfish arse.

A man who games, shudder, what a prince among men. Kick him out to a shed or something. What do you do if you want to sit in your living room in the evening OP - with a big old knob end playing “pretend to shoot the aliens” all night?

He should game when DC go to bed if he’s creating a situation where a shared area is useable only by him!

Divorce this useless man

He needs a gaming set up somewhere else. You and your child shouldn't have to put up with it.

Can’t DH have a screen in your bedroom where he can game so the lounge stays communal?

We have a Switch connected to our lounge tv but if someone wants to watch the tv they they can’t game.
In your situation, if you & your DD want to watch TV you should & your DH should wait until DD goes to bed to game.

Send him to the bedroom or tell him to stop gaming and spent time with his child.

wow - so what’s a woman who games? Not excusing OPs DH here - he’s been a selfish jerk monopolising a shared space, but gaming is no better or worse than any other hobby.

Christmas is coming, buy him a TV for the spare room.

gaming is my hobby. Would you say that to a reader? A hobby is a hobby

We've done a mix of a rota of who is in charge of the TV in the evening and having certain shows/movies/games that those staying up later than the younger can do together.

He's being selfish and needs a set up elsewhere. A communal room is for everyone.

I made the dining room into a play room that's multi-purpose (multi gym, gaming set up etc). Is that an option?

Or he needs to keep off the game until people go to bed.

DH games but only when no one else is using the TV. If he's gaming and someone else comes in, he turns the game off as he is a considerate grown up. Don't you get to watch the TV?

Honestly we rarely watch TV, it is predominantly for games, and family movies. Mostly on our tablets, I like to read or watch something to my taste of an evening, it is my way of relaxing because in my household our tastes are so different! We spend plenty of time together doing other things, and usually when they're gaming, they're playing together most of the time! Im pleased to be out of it. 😂

So the man rules what's meant to be a communal family space? -nice.

How about he spends some time with his daughter.

There's no mention of what you want. Do you want to watch him game, would you prefer to spend time as a family?

I know that I wouldn't want that every night. You'r child shouldn't feel banished, and what in a couple of years time when your youngest stays up later? If it's become the norm you'll end up with tween/teens who have next to no connection with their dad.

It would be a no from me.

He should not be gaming, he should be parenting.

So what does he say when you have the discussion about it?

The 10 year old is up until quite late though. I don't think at that age she needs entertained every second of the day. How do we know that he isn't doing any activities with his dd at other times?

Kick his juvenile arse out of the lounge and tell him to go to his bedroom, just like the teenager he apparently is. A grown man gaming is crap, but gaming at the expense of his young daughter and wife is fucking horrible. Alternatively he could move out altogether and then he can game until he's sick.

So parents should never relax and do their own thing?

I don't think its necessary unreasonable to want to have time as adults in an evening, whilst kids entertain themselves.

When ours were younger, and it was full on days of work then kids activities, homework, tea etc. I'd look fowards to sticking whatever box set we were watching or I could read or watch the soaps whilst dh watched football in another room, whilst the kids did their own thing before bed.

We always parented, but also had time for ourselves

@Whaleandsnail6 But what about his wife? Does she have to sit every evening and watch him gaming or should she go to her bedroom every night?