Does everyone track their children?

[CaNGCNk]

Is everyone tracking their child now? I had a few people surprised on another group because I said I don’t agree with tracking my children. In school they were talking about. I can see the appeal for a younger child a toddler maybe or a child thats a runner. But are we all just tracking our school age children now? (even if that doesn’t apply)

We don't routinely. Don't have an app or anything like that. What U may occasionally do is ask DD to share her WhatsApp live location if she's getting a train home from another city so I can anticipate picking her up, or I'll share mine so she knows when I'm approaching.

DS19, DS17, DD15.

It's never crossed my mind to track my children, or DH. I think its a very unhealthy mindset to do so and can only think it would be appropriate if someone was hiking in a remote wilderness alone maybe.
I shudder at the thought of being tracked and would have absolutely hated the concept as a teenager.

I wouldnt be so sure. Let's wait and see what impact it has on mental health...

Bully for you, wow!!

The number of times our two have lost phones it’s been really helpful and came into its own another time DS was very unwell and not where he should have been. Thank goodness we were alerted to the fact that something was very off.

On their phones yes.

No, never done this with my DD, now 20. We don't live together anymore but she's an adult now with her own life.

I do a proof of life text once a week.

But even as a younger teen I never tracked her. We'd send each other a text message to confirm we were ok, but not location.

I went out with my oldest friend recently and she's such a worry wombat that when I got in a cab to go home I sent my Google location to her for an hour. But usually I don't share my location with anyone.

I've heard of parents fretting over their university age children, following them closely on Snapchat. That is weird.

When dd2 was 14-16 she would roam around with friends house to house so tracked her then.

Also dh who cycles long distances on his own. Don’t bother tracking dd1 or dd2 now she’s nearly 18 and lives a calmer life. So now only track dh if solo cycling.

I am very anti tracking. I don't know anyone else in real life who feels the same as me. Most look at me like I have 2 heads when I say I don't track DD. I have 2 main reasons for being anti:

1. I want her to be confident and independent. Tracking her gives her the message that she isn't capable of going out in the world on her own. I'm a secondary teacher and I'm increasingly amazed how lacking in confidence my students are to do anything without adult supervision. I don't want my DD to feel that way. Imho tracking eases parental anxiety at the cost of the child's anxiety.

1. I don't want tech corporations/AI developers having data on my DD. The corporations offer us these products for minimal cost because we are paying with our data.

No it’s ridiculous. I’d hate it and would have hated my parents tracking me. Fucking weird Black mirror world. Just stop it

No never. DD18 at uni, DS16 at college. Never have tracked them. Can't understand it.

Am on a FB group for DDs type of uni course and there were parents tracking pubs in freshers week.

Absolutely not, I find it bizarre then families are obsessed with all tracking each other. In laws (who I adore) actually do this, but husband and I have politely declined. I just don't get it! We occasionally send a live location via WhatsApp for safety reasons e.g. for the duration of the journey if geting a taxi late at night.

My children are adults , I have never tracked them . I find it a bit weird and controlling.

my friend and her adult children 22 and 25 have life 360 and can see where each other is, I find it all a bit bizarre that a 22 and 25 don’t have any privacy from their parents. ..

Absolutely not and I’d hate it if someone wanted to track me.

No. My dc are 12, 18, 21 and 25.

What impact is it likely to have? Will I need counselling?

Yep!

DD18 is at uni and actually asked for me to have it on my phone. I only look at it when I know she’s been on a night out so I can see she’s back in her accommodation safely. It’s easier than her texting me to say she’s back or me worrying if she’s not replying.

DS16 has a season ticket for our local club and we goes to evening matches I look to see whereabouts the bus he’s on is, so I can judge what time to leave to pick him up. If I text/called him he’d be unlikely to answer or reply as he’d be having in depth conversations with his mates about the match…

Thankfully they’re good kids and I don’t often not know where they are, so don’t feel the need to check.

What sort of impact do you think constant surveillance might have on a person?

Surely this is one of those things that people have varying opinions on, for a whole host of reasons, and you’re free to do it (or not) depending on whether it works for your family. I don’t personally use trackers but I think it’s bonkers to judge other parents for doing so 🤷‍♀️ Ditto pretty much every individual parenting issue from TV to clothes to playing out to sleepovers - it’s horses for courses OP!

Yes. Kids with medical issues though. They can also see where I am at any time. Never really thought much about it tbh. Most parents I know have it on their kids phone, though admittedly their kids can't see the parents location. This includes a barrister, social worker, teachers and headmaster of a secondary school who I feel prob have a better grip on the realities of teens vs my very limited experience.

No. My teens travel 45 minutes across London to school and I don’t track them. I trust them to update me if they are late or the trains aren’t running. They have been fine for 7+ years of secondary school.

I added 17 year old to life 360 after a few nights of not coming home and not telling us. It helps me sleep at night.

DD is 10 and takes the train to school by herself. When she first started I would double check on FindMyIphone that she’s on the train but now I trust her that she’d catch the next one if she missed it or call me in an emergency.

I checked on her today as after school she was getting the train to a different town for an appointment where I was meeting her, just to make sure she’d got the train in the right direction!

And before anyone starts losing their mind about a 10yo catching a train alone, I live in Germany and this is very normal. Nearly all her classmates take the train to school.

No. I work with women subject to domestic abuse and coercive control and I decided I don’t want to normalise tracking for my daughters. I know that it is used benignly by the majority of people but I don’t want them to think to automatically assume it’s standard practice. Saying that the eldest doesn’t even take her phone to school with her so I wouldn’t have much luck tracking her even if I wanted to on weekdays.

Generally we just agree a time to be home and she tells me where she’s going.

I definitely don’t want to be tracked, so it seems fair that they aren’t either. I appreciate others think differently though, and it works for them

DD2- the one who saw we were all at home and came shopping in mama’s fridge- showed me that she had about 20 friend’s locations. As a cohort this generation, (maybe specifically in London) were really shaken by Sarah Everard’s murder. And again as a cohort they’ve all been stuck overseas and within the UK either through transport failing or disasters with friends. Again London kids generally are traveling by public transport to school from 11. And I remember her saying that it was a long time before she shared location with now fiancé.

My DC (aged 17, 19 and 20) are all on find my iPhone so I could track them if I wanted to but I hardly ever do. Also they could take themselves off it if they wanted to.