Does everyone track their children?

[CaNGCNk]

Is everyone tracking their child now? I had a few people surprised on another group because I said I don’t agree with tracking my children. In school they were talking about. I can see the appeal for a younger child a toddler maybe or a child thats a runner. But are we all just tracking our school age children now? (even if that doesn’t apply)

It's not the early 1990s now. I was a teen then and tbh often we weren't safe at all, we were in risky situations and it was only luck that we emerged (relatively) unscathed.

This. Every time.

This is not normal behaviour. Not from parents, not from friends, not from partners.

They shouldn't have their location on Snapchat. Isn't this basic parenting to explain this and why?

Thank goodness the government are intervening to ban such apps for under 16s because apparently many parents can't.. parent.

Yes and have always done so. Kids are young adults now, DS is at uni so we use it to see if he’s home before calling and DD has an evening job so use it to see if she’s on her way home. Check to see where DH is on his journey home to work
out when to put the dinner on. If I’m picking any of them up, I’d rather they look at my location before calling me to ask where I am.

Nope. Not me, not DH and not DD (16). There is a tracker on the dog because she forgets her name or that we exist if she spots a squirrel in the woods.

Constant surveillance???!!! Are you actually reading what people are writing or just making shit up to sound dramatic?

I wouldn’t. I find it creepy tbh - watching someone’s activity virtually just doesn’t sit right with me.

…

I do now with teens. I explain that it’s not me keeping tabs on them every minute of the day or checking up on them - It’s in the event of either of them getting into trouble.
I don’t refer to the fact that I can see where they are so they kind of forget and will often ask them where they are when I call them so they don’t feel like they are being watched.

We live in an area in London that is nice enough but both have had their phones stolen before and there are all manner of things that could go wrong/ places they could be so I think it would be mad not to from a safety perspective.

Exactly.

This thread is the tech equivalent of 'its not hitting or smacking, I just tap him on the hand'

Surely parents should know where their young kids are at all times?

Yes, when they're over 16, it should only be done with their consent and knowledge, but for younger children, what about where it's a choice of 'share your location or don't go out alone'?

One of my friends has a 12yo son who takes a train and then a bus to school, and then has a walk through a residential area. He's young for his age, and she wouldn't let him do the journey if she couldn't keep track of where he was.

Similarly, my cousin's DD14 can go out on weekend nights with her friends on condition that she has location tracking on. Her dad will then go pick her up at 10.30pm and bring her home. If it wasn't for the tracking, she wouldn't be allowed out at all.

If it is switched on, it is tracking you. It is constant by design. I am not being dramatic. Perhaps if you think constant surveillance sounds dramatic, you ought to rethink your stance on tracking apps.

how did people manage 15 or more years ago? My daughter had a journey of over an hour to school, by bus, train, and a long walk and I would never have considered tracking her. She had a basic phone for the first few years so she could ring me easily if her train was cancelled, or if she had forgotten her phone she could either borrow one from a friend or use a pay phone. I always expected her to let me know where she was going at night and I always picked her up no matter what time she was coming home but the thought of keeping track of her is so alien to me and shows a complete lack of trust.

Ahhhh this is reassuring! I don't track any of my teens. But only a couple of weeks was told by a friend how odd it was that I don't have life 360, and how I'm the only person she knows out of an extensive network of friends not to track their kids. With the suggestion being that I'm a massive weirdo and negligent parent. Might send her this thread 🤣

But it doesn’t show a trail of where you’ve been all day or record anything. It just shows where you are at the moment the person looks at it.

No way. I don’t track my partner either and I’d hate to be stalked like that.
I don’t want access to his phone either.

I’ve had to be extremely strict with friends of my teenager that they’re not to leave their phones here when they go out.

Tracked teens leaving phones behind is a real issue for a lot of parents, and is becoming more and more of an issue

A lot of kids weren't looked after very well back then and weren't very safe (probably like some children still are nowadays). It was probably fine in most situations until it wasn't.

And children nowadays face additional dangers from online grooming and bullying.

Say what you like, but 12 and 13yos aren't entitled to the same degree of privacy and freedom as adults.

Yes very socially acceptable in my circle. My young adults and teens are quite happy for it and same for all their friends so it's become normal now.

I had gone out a walk with a friend and popped into a local bar on our way back for a glass of wine and within 6 minutes of being in the place she got a text saying “that’s not a walk!” 😂 made me laugh but also put me off going out with this friend that her kids know exactly where we are at all times.

Over the years I’ve had many conversations with peers about the good old days in the 70’s when primary school aged childrenplayed out alone. Inevitably it gets very dark very quickly as we recall being flashed at groped, coerced into shoplifting, lured into strangers houses, seeing friends knocked down, walking home in the dark after being kicked off buses or losing a bus pass. All of the disasters that befell my kids weren’t their fault- being kicked out of parties on the other side of town when parents came home unexpectedly, the aforementioned fitting friend, a missing friend at cadet camp and circling much older men. I know being tracked doesn’t stop all that but it is an extra layer of security.

But what benefit is it to children in being shielded from potential challenges? It is a natural part of growing in to an adult, learning resilience and independence. I experienced a good few of the above (bus one many times), it’s just part of life

It is part of life but also I can think of a couple of child deaths where young children just didn’t have the tools to deal with a disaster a phone would have solved- admittedly not specifically tracking but communication. And two cases of csa which have blighted the lives of the child, now adult with enduring ptsd.

But what will you do if they get in trouble ?

Nope. In 2022 my friend was a bit surprised that my daughter used to walk the two miles home in Y5 before she got a phone but I think it was mild "your brave" rather than what would now be "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!?"

I want them to feel trusted, have confidence and privacy but I'm also dubious about what safety benefits are brought. Is the kid going to say "just hold off from attacking me a minute whilst I ring my mum" or are you going to be following every moment of a journey from a tracker?

I think life is simpler and cleaner without. And we know, having lived through it, that generally things are fine.