Periods - what age is best to explain to child

[2kidswelshmum]

What age is appropriate to explain periods/menstrual cycle to daughter?

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. In the swimming pool changing room bathroom today they saw the free period products on the sink and asked what they are.

I gave a non committal answer in that moment because I wanted more time to think how I respond, and also we were running a bit late for their lesson.

I figure there’s no reason why I can’t tell them - it’s part of life etc. I’m just not sure of the best way to phrase it.

And I’m leaning towards tailoring the answer per child, giving my seven year old daughter a bit more info…?

Yeah they know all about birth and different types of delivery because they asked, I answered.

Periods just haven’t come up yet, rightly or wrongly. This isn’t some secret I’m keeping from them, I’m from a family of pragmatic medics who are all incredibly open about normal bodily functions. I just hadn’t had a natural opportunity to talk to them about it because they’ve never seen period products in the house (I use a mooncup) and they have never seen me empty it (despite people seemingly suggesting I’m some sort of rarity whose never taken their children into the loo with them - absolutely not the case. I’ve squashed into more public loos than I can remember with two children in tow).

Im basically just looking for any tips on conversations or books that have worked well. My children will definitely have questions so a book geared to their level would help me out 🤣❤️

My mum was always open and honest and I knew about periods from a really young age, I remember asking about tampons in a basket in the bathroom when I was really little and it was explained straightforward matter-of-face no big deal. I remember a school friend wasn’t told until we were about 10 and it was like this big revelation for her. I think it’s much better to just ‘know’ about it, far less scary.

At home, never.
I guess I just don't use public toilets that much?
If I've gone to the zoo or something it's usually with a friend/husband/sister so the toilet hasn't been an issue.

I have extremely heavy periods, like I can't go more than an hour without changing my super heavy tampon and backup pad on the heaviest days so my kids have had to come into many public toilets with me when they were tiny. So they've always known. Mine started when I was 10 and I was completely unprepared, I hid it and used wads of toilet paper for the first 3 months. DD is 8, quite tall and developed for her age and she's got a really thorough understanding. I've actually been wondering if she should have a pad in the bottom of her school bag just in case.

No need for judgement, I’m clearly aware I need to let them know.

I don't think anyone actively takes their children to the bathroom with them at home. They just follow you in there whether you like it or not!

My bathroom has a door 😂

My children can open doors.

I’m amazed and in awe of parents who have multiple children (I have 4) and apparently not one of their children has ever followed them into the loo at home nor has the parent ever needed to use a public toilet when out and about! Wish I knew their secret 🤣

That's what I mean by 'not my thing at all'. You're happy for your children to come in, good for you. I'm not, I want to poop in peace and privacy.

I’ve spoken to them about how we have hormones that depen voices, make breasts grow etc etc and it happens as a teenager but just because they’ve asked. Because this hasn’t come up until today (I was always going to tell my daughter soon in case she starts her period early) but today the questions about pads was my reminder 👍

There's no secret, I literally just say I'm going to the toilet and shut the door!

When you talk to your daughter about sanitary protection options please make sure she knows she has options and not just assume she will be able to use a moon cup. Not all women can. Period pants are great for younger girls and early teens as they don't need to worry about leaks.

So your walking 10month old - you need the loo and you just shut/lock them out? That’s weirder than letting them in the bathroom with you. Likewise you shower - you never let them in the bathroom so you could keep an eye on them?
Were you born in the 50s?

In public? You would lock out a 10/12 month old even at home?

No I was born in the 80s 😂
Yeah a baby can stay in a play pen or just playing in the play room for a few minutes while you go to the toilet? I just have a stairgate on the door.
Tended to shower in the evenings once they were in bed.

That sounds really scary, I’m sorry your mother didn’t give you more info ❤️❤️

I 100 percent always plan on giving my kids as much details as possible, I just hadn’t thought until today when they asked to do it. If anyone else sees this comment and asks about public loos just read back and you’ll see why they didn’t see pads or tampons.

My mum and I both didn’t start our periods until later (mum was 18, I was a more normal 13) so I guess I hadn’t seen the urgency. I will definitely be filling them in properly this week.

books and all!

I like that explanation a lot.

I didn't often need to use public toilets when out, you wouldn't fit a buggy in a cubicle anyway?
Or I'd be out with friends or family if it was a day trip.

Mine have always just known. It’s never been hidden so we’ve never had to have a sit down chat about it. They are 5 and 8. They understand that it’s the shedding of the lining of the womb that happens when a woman doesn’t become pregnant. They know about menstrual cups, discs, period pants, pads and tampons because they’ve seen them all.

I personally never intended to rely on the school, just looking for some nice book ideas to help me talk about them with it at home ❤️

Play pen? 🤣

I’m glad my 3 sons have always known about periods since before they can remember - I can shout them and ask for a tampon because I have forgotten to restock the bathroom and my 12yr old ds knows what I am talking about. I am glad my 26yr old ds has no issue picking up sanpro for his wife and sympathises when she feels shit. I am glad my 22yr old dd knew what was happening to her body when she started her periods at 8yrs. I am glad my 16yr old ds is so aware that when female friends come round and are caught short he isn’t embarrassed to offer them all manner of sanitary towels/tampons etc because it is just so normal for him. 4dc - all see periods as a normal fact of life and always have. Didn’t need the school to tell them.

Screaming toddler banging on the bathroom door because they can’t see you, isn't my idea of peace. My own screaming toddler (13 months) skipped the potty and went straight to using the toilet though so there are advantages. Nieces were the same, oldest of 3 just turned 4 a week before youngest was born and never had 2 in nappies at the same time.

Yes, I’ll tell her that ❤️ I wouldn’t expect a 13 year old to use a mooncup, it’s a choice I made as an adult woman to be more sustainable. No way I’d have used it as a child 😆

I know op - I don’t think people are getting at you - more other posters who don’t feel the need to teach their kids