Am I unreasonable to want more help as a homeschooling stay-at-home mum?

[EducatorMum]

Hi all, I need to know if I’m being unreasonable.
background - I’m a sahm homeschooling our 3 children (11, 4, 2). My partner works from home (data) full time and is the only financial provide which I’m extremely grateful for to enable me to stay home with the children.
I used to be a primary school teacher but came off to be with the kids.
I naturally do all of the cleaning , laundry , housekeeping , childcare. I’m up every morning anytime between 6 and 7. I do all bath times and bed times alone as they don’t settle for him. At weekends, he stays in bed until 10/11 . He struggles to sleep at night so he argues he gets the same amount of sleep as me (I go to bed with the 4 year old). I generally don’t get a lie in or much of a break. Every evening after I’ve cooked and cleaned up he will head to his office usually around 7pm and have rest and alone time until he comes to bed around 11/12. I might get an hour if the youngest naps in the day but feel things are unfair. If I ever bring it up he makes out I’m ungrateful, that he’s working a job he hates and I can do whatever I want. Is this right? I don’t know how if this is the norm for others in sahm / homeschool positions ?

Wow, keep digging!

Tell me you know nothing about home education 😂

It’s the truth .

HOME EDUCATORS DON’T ATTEMPT TO DO THIS.

@EducatorMum That's quite amusing! I tutor children not in education for a living! 😆

Homeschooling is a big commitment especially for three kids. Planning, resourcing and actually doing it is going to take up a massive amount of time - and as a trained teacher you know that.

it’s pretty much a full time job if you are doing it properly, and most people with full time jobs get up between six and seven, get the kids sorted and then do the school/nursery run and off to work.

if the kids spend most of their time with you I’m not totally surprised they won’t settle for their dad but it does mean that you and him have almost completely separate lives.

do you do things as a family at the weekend?

Question , has mumsnet always been an unsupportive place full of bullies? Fascinating

But surely, so is opting out of the family's economic life and leaving it to one partner.

Absolutely - very clueless , ignorant individuals here unfortunately

No, no. I'm just insulted by your assertion that many teachers don't care. That's not bullying.

@BitterTits Isn't that what SAHMs do?

@EducatorMum is claiming to do this.
Also STOP SHOUTING!

What shes doing is work!

Have you read some of these comments? Would you say they are all supportive ?

What homeschooling will you be doing for a 2 year old?

@EducatorMum OK then. What do you see as your role as a Home Educator?

Thank you for this!😂😂

Yes, if their partner isn't happy with the economic responsibility.

How is that relevant at all?😂😂

In fact the blanket statement that teachers don't care could be construed as bullying.

I agree with @Angryatheist , there's no way you can deliver the curriculum for your eldest with a 2 and 4 year old to look after too! I think you're being a bit of a martyr tbh. Yes of course the children would be able to be looked after by their father and settled into bed, none of you are committed to making that work though.

100% agree. The fact that you're home schooling is neither here nor there, if you were sahm to smaller kids or working noone would expect you to have a husband who popped up for meals, had his house cleaned, his meals ready and his evenings and weekends to himself. This sounds completely unfair. You should be splitting things 50:50 outside of work hours, as much as possible

I claim that I can support and home educate secondary aged children. That does not mean I think I can teach all of the subjects. It means whatever I can’t , I can outsource but I know my children best and completely understand education, learning and their individual needs . If you are interested , look it up

It doesn’t sound as though OP has dictated any sort of unilateral decision regarding being at home with her children, so no, being at home with your children and not earning is not an unreasonable thing in itself.

Not partaking in the raising of your children outside of your working hours is always unreasonable.

I will hold any judgement until OP clarifies what she sees as Home Educating.