Should my husband call his daughter during our honeymoon abroad?

[Luxe50]

We are on our honeymoon in Corfu. 9 year old step daughter is on holiday in Mauritius with her mum who has asked for a brief call for our step-daughter. My question is whilst this doesn’t really bother me, should step daughter be able to manage without a call for a week (we only left on Saturday). Is this about my husband’s ex partner wanting to interrupt our break. Or am I reading to much into it, I don’t have children so appreciate I may not have the best perspective on holidays and what is usual.

Well I think increasingly as a couple of generations have now widely dabbled in "Moving On", a lot of people are realising that that safe, happy prioritised children are more important than chasing relationships that jeopardise them.

And if the OP resents the child even phoning the dad when he is away for a week, that isn;t a healthy family set-up for the DD to be put in.

Eh? People shouldn’t stay in unhappy relationships just for the children, I speak from experience when I say that’s not good for anyone.

I’m very happy. I love my life and my family and friends make me happy.
I’ve suffered more than my fair share of setbacks and traumatic events but overall my general mental state is happiness.
I live a very purposeful and fulfilled life which makes me happy. I’m far from shallow and vapid.
On the other hand, you sound utterly miserable.

Yes, but there is moving out of an unhappy relationship, and then there's moving out of an unhappy relationship and into one that is toxic for your children.

Deleting your account is a bit extreme. If you have an excellent relationship with your stepdaughter it makes no sense for you to be questioning if your husband should/shouldn't, can/can't speak to her while you're away.

The fact you have often cared for her only makes it worse OP.

You should have sufficient bond you WANT to hear from her in these circumstances, both apart and in interesting locations.

And FWIW, 9 times out of 10 when I've been told there is a difficult ex-wife, there's usually an even more difficult second wife.

ETA and the "account deleting" manoeuvre when you didn't get the answers you wanted kind of lends reinforcement to that.

When you say "not constructive", I assume you mean you’re not getting the answers you had hoped for.

For context, this is a complex situation involving three years of difficult behaviour from my husband’s ex-wife, periods of serious ill health and involvement from social services.

And you think this means the child will need her father's support less? Does your husband know you think that?

Good luck with the step parenting. The child will need it.

It’s odd you don’t think it isn’t constructive merely because it wasn’t what you wanted to hear, and it does cast doubt on the ‘I have such a good relationship with my DD’ that you have found people saying you are being unreasonable to be so controversial. The comments have been overwhelmingly similar, which surely is a constructive answer?

For the avoidance of doubt, it’s even more unreasonable to think a 9 year old who lives with their father half the time shouldn’t be able to contact her father due to him being on holiday with his new wife.

You should maybe try some of them pills yourself, you seem deeply unhappy. Of course people aren't in a state of happiness all the time but there's a large gap between being unhappy when dealing with bereavement and being miserable in a relationship because of the person you are with. Happiness is important to me, I am overall very happy in life. I'm not a dope head, not using any pills and not unemployed. I think you're view is probably in the minority.

Aye, right. Because you are guaranteed immediate happiness when you divorce and leave a perfectly OK-ish union. Yeah, you go girl, as long as you are happy (whatever that means), and fuck the children's feelings.
FYI - children don't give a fuck about their parents perceived marital happiness, as long as parents respect each other, have a civilised atmosphere at home and are always there for the children, physically as well as psychologically.
As long as the parents are 'happy in their relationships', aye, right. Ask any child - would you like to have a mum and a dad with you, or would you like your mum and dad to split up, so they would be truly happy. Pathetic, immature, stupid?

You can’t possible speak for all people.
I know several people who were happy when their parents divorced and another who didn’t enjoy his childhood due to his parents staying officially marred, living together ‘for the kids’ and living totally separate lives.

Ask any child - would you like to have a mum and a dad with you, or would you like your mum and dad to split up, so they would be truly happy.
Parents make decisions in the best interest of their children without allowing the child to decide. It’s a normal part of parenting.
Ask any child - would you like to brush your teeth tonight? Do you want to go to bed on time? Do you want to do your homework or eat sweets and watch tv instead?
It’s pretty universally accepted that minors with underdeveloped brains can’t always be left to control their own lives.

Why are you so angry? What’s with the name calling?

I was actually talking about my experience as a child. My parents stayed together far longer than they should have and it made for quite a toxic environment. I wish they’d split up earlier because when they eventually did it was a relief to no longer be walking on eggshells.
Living in a house where there is constant arguments or even domestic violence is damaging psychologically.

My friend recently split up from her husband. He was a drug addict and had multiple affairs. Debt collectors would regularly come to the house. She left for the sake of their child.

Ask any child - would you like to brush your teeth tonight? - mmmm, brush your teeth or your parents divorcing.... mmmm good analogy! Totally comparable!

Do you want to go to bed on time? - mmmm, or do you want a random boyfriend move in? Totally comparable! Actually, the same!

Do you want to do your homework or eat sweets and watch tv instead? - Again, bull's eye - homework or being shuttled between 2 new families, interaction with a lovely 'stepmum' who begrudges you soft fruit...

Such good analogies, you totally convinced me.

Dislaimer: this does not apply to families where one of the parents is abusive, negligent, etc. where obviously divorce is the best option.
P.P.S. My post was about adults in idiotic pursuit of 'happiness' at the expense of their children, because, you know, you are 100% guaranteed happiness after a divorce and actually, your pursuit of happiness totally trumps children's happiness.

Perhaps you should try looking for happiness because you sound miserable as fuck, might help with your anger too 🤷‍♀️

Perfectly normal and shows he’s a good dad, he’s her dad first and your his wife second, any decent man would prioritise in that order.

It’s weird you think children would be happier being brought up by miserable parents.
Then again, perhaps that’s what you need to tell yourself.

I don't pursue happiness, this is not my goal at all. I am miserable sometimes, delighted other times, like any normal person. And very often sad for children of people who pursue their own happiness at their children's expense and what is more, try to justify it, instead of owning up.

Again, this is not directed at families where one member is violent, abusive, alcoholic, etc. In those cases divorce is the only way.

Just like you need to tell yourself, that children are delighted when their parents divorce and dream about it!

When the marriage no longer works divorce is always rhe best option. No one should stay together for the kids, an amicable split and two happier parents is always optimal.