What did his ex mean by this?

[merrysunflower]

Last week I attended a sporting event for my partners son.
during the match my partner and her partner were cheering on the team. I think it turned into a little bit of who could shout the loudest. She pulled her partner back and was speaking to him and I heard her say ‘we don’t have to love them the loudest’ the partner instantly reined it in.

it’s really played on my mind all week. What do you think was behind that comment?

Why did you feel the need to attend something for someone else’s child who already had both parents there. Seems odd.

we don’t have to love them the loudest

Love can be quiet support and acceptance done away from the general public or specific people. It’s not dependent on an adoring audience and doesn’t need to be done via social media.

He who shouts loudest at a sports match is just the one with the biggest lungs. Nothing more than that.

You really don't understand that comment?

It’s obvious she meant that he should quieten down because it’s not a pissing contest. The kids know that dad and stepdad support them and it’s not the case of the loudest man being the best.

Maybe she actually likes the kid and has a relationship with him 🤔

Why were you there, anyway?
Both the parents were there.

The men sound a bit pathetic but fortunately the mum could see that and stopped it in time. One day the child will be embarrassed by such competitive shouting - if he isn’t already.

As I said to someone else upthread.... maybe the OP actually LIKES her step-child and enjoys watching him play sport.
Mumsnet has the strangest of attitudes to step parents.

Seems odd that this is your initial thought rather than what lucky children to have 4 adults/parent figures in their lives who love and care enough about them to go and cheer them on.

I would say it meant that partner was coming across a bit over the top and maybe passive aggressive about being so loud in cheering, so she reined it in so it seemed more appropriate. Seems like really thoughtful parenting to me.

Exactly what she said 🤷‍♀️

Do you think it was a dig at her partner or a dig at mine and I was meant to hear it?

I think it was a woman tired of other peoples shit.

I don't think it was a dig at anyone

I think she felt a bit embarrassed and wanted them to quiet down. Not a "dig" exactly, but yes a slight criticism of both the men involved.

I think the comment spoke volumes

In what way?

I completely disagree that it was unacceptable for you to watch the match.

Why do you care if it’s a dig at either man? Overly loud spectators ruin the match vibe for other spectators and could be off putting for the kids too. Only you know if the volume was OTT but I think she was right to tell her OH to quieten down and not be so embarrassing. It’s not the World Cup
final.

I think she was annoyed that both her ex and current partner were acting so immaturely, it wasn't said for your benefit.

And as your partner and her new partner seem to have been focusing more on each other than the match, I don't think they were cheering for the kid's benefit.

I'd skip future matches if I was you.

Why do you care? Even if she was annoyed at her partner or her ex and made a dig… how is that your problem, and more importantly why are you trying to make it so?

I'd say it was a dig at both of them being immature bellends.

Your partner got into an embarrassing pissing contest at his kids event, and the children’s mother sensibly stopped it.
It doesn’t matter what she said or what was meant - though I’d say it’s very obvious and by asking it sounds like you’re looking for a way to make trouble tbh.
Let it go.

Which of the 8 words is it that you don't understand?

She was telling her partner not to be so loud.

Why shouldn’t OP be at her stepchild’s event? Mumsnet is so anti stepparents it’s crazy

Your comment reveals a lot about your attitude towards blended families.

i hope you get to explore that with a professional.