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Original poster

My daughter said '****'s daddy did it' and now Im scared and dont know what to do

227 replies

clothears · 24/06/2008 21:24

My mum was looking after my daughter today and thought she saw blood on her pants (it wasnt), she asked my DD how it happened. DD replied ''s daddy did it'. My mum asked what happened and DD said ' wont be my best friend anymore' I have had the same coversation with her. She is only 3.5 yrs old. Im worried. What do I do? My friends partner did look after her last thursday night while I went out. She has been moody since then and I thought nothing of it. I have had thrush and she has been saying she is sore, so I assumed she may have caught thrush from me but its easing and there has been no blood and she isnt sore.
Please help.....

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Aitch · 24/06/2008 21:25

oh blimey. what is your instinct here?

sarah293 · 24/06/2008 21:25

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jellybelly2007 · 24/06/2008 21:28

OMG, Take her to the doctors, you need to find out if anything has happened. Do you know this man well? has he looked after her/ any other kids before?
What was on her pants if it wasnt blood?

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avenanap · 24/06/2008 21:28

Just sit her down and ask her what did ** do? Don't act worried.

ladytophamhatt · 24/06/2008 21:28

your DD couldn't catch thrush for you.

I'd be very worried....

ButterflyMcQueen · 24/06/2008 21:30

i had this once and took dd then 3.5 to the emergency room
i am not the type to this but was concerned
my advice is to do that

jellybelly2007 · 24/06/2008 21:30

Perhaps you could book in for a smear test, and then get your DD looked at, so she doesnt get scared.

ladytophamhatt · 24/06/2008 21:30

From you....

sorry

QuintessentialShadows · 24/06/2008 21:30

My son told people in all earnest that our au pair had kicked him down the stairs.
She didnt. I was there, I saw what happened. He was walking down the stairs with her behind him, then he stopped suddenly, she did not stop in time, and got her knee in his back, and he wobbled, but did not fall.

In my SONS opinion, au pair kicked him.

It could have been innocent, and your dd has the wrong opinion of what happened.
Maybe he helped wipe her bottom after a poo and she did not like it. Maybe they had hotdogs and he jokingly (and stupidly said) ketchup was blood and some got spilled. The thing is that you dont know. But you should go with your instinct and try find out.

I dont know how, though.....

avenanap · 24/06/2008 21:30

Don't panic. It may be completely innocent. Panicking will just upset her. Don't rush her to the doctor, you don't know what she means. She might just mean he told her off. Don't jump to conclusions. Sit her down and talk to her. Ask her what she did when she was there. Ask if he told her off then ask if she was sad when she was there, if she says yes then ask her why.

Janni · 24/06/2008 21:31

What a worrying situation for you.

Could you have a little game with dolls to see if she can 'show' you what happened?

foxythesnowfox · 24/06/2008 21:31

Would you call Childline or the NSPCC? They might know what to do, and you can do it anonymously.

I wish I could be more helpful. I hope you are both OK.

me23 · 24/06/2008 21:31

oh dear, you need to find out what (if anythng) has happened. hope it turns out to be nothing.

beeny · 24/06/2008 21:31

Am criminal lawyer i would be very worried.Ask her calmly what she means and take her to doctors.

umberella · 24/06/2008 21:31

you need to take her to the doctors after asking her what happened (not acting worried as avenanap has said).

how awful for you.

jenniebee · 24/06/2008 21:32

Take her straight to the doctors and as avenanap said just sit her down and ask exactly what happened. what was on pants if not blood?

Original poster
clothears · 24/06/2008 21:32

It was pen - we decorated her pants as part of the encouragement for potty training. mum said 'Oh sweetie you have some blood on your pants how did that happen?' she said 'was 's daddy' mum said, Oh, do you want to tell Nanna about it, she said 'Keira wont be my best friend' I repeated the conversation but she elaborated to say that he 'pulled at her pants' and when I asked her to explain a bit mroe she said 'I cant, keira wont be my best friend'. i have trusted him and i cant beleive he would do this but i cant ignore what she saying

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 24/06/2008 21:33

Jannis suggestion is good. The famous child psychologist Dolto often used dolls for children to re-enact things as play therapy.

OracleInaCoracle · 24/06/2008 21:34

omg, agree with LTH, id be very worried too. take her to your gp and then call NSPCC and ask their advice on how to deal with this

QueenyEisGotTheBall · 24/06/2008 21:34

i would definitely take her to see a doctor or nurse of some kind and then see what happens as she is awfully young to be making something up. i agree with avenap maybe sit her down and ask her what *'s daddy did! she may be talking about something innocent but i wouldnt take a chance if it were my DD.
xx ei xx

umberella · 24/06/2008 21:35

oh clothears I hope this turns out to be nothing x

ButterflyMcQueen · 24/06/2008 21:35

she needs to be seen soon sorry

beeny · 24/06/2008 21:36

Please trust your instincts and and call nspcc you dont want any investigation compromised

BetteNoire · 24/06/2008 21:36

I think you need to get some expert advice here, about how to handle the situation.

Whilst it may be an innocent misunderstanding, and of course we all hope it is, I think a phone call to an agency that can offer support is a good idea.

Maybe childline, as foxy said. They should have contact details of people that can advise.

avenanap · 24/06/2008 21:36

Was he trying to help her go to the loo?

You need to ask her what she was doing when he pulled at her pants. Tell her that Keira will be her best friend but some secrets can hurt people so she needs to tell you what the secret is so that you can make things better if you need to. Stay calm. Let her tell you.