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Original poster

My daughter said '****'s daddy did it' and now Im scared and dont know what to do

227 replies

clothears · 24/06/2008 21:24

My mum was looking after my daughter today and thought she saw blood on her pants (it wasnt), she asked my DD how it happened. DD replied ''s daddy did it'. My mum asked what happened and DD said ' wont be my best friend anymore' I have had the same coversation with her. She is only 3.5 yrs old. Im worried. What do I do? My friends partner did look after her last thursday night while I went out. She has been moody since then and I thought nothing of it. I have had thrush and she has been saying she is sore, so I assumed she may have caught thrush from me but its easing and there has been no blood and she isnt sore.
Please help.....

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Divastrop · 27/06/2008 21:04

eh?nothing has been deleted,clothears hasnt hidden her profile and this thread is supposed to be ok?

BetteNoire · 27/06/2008 21:07

This thread is a mess.

Clothears - I am genuinely stunned that you haven't made your profile private, and that posts containing names haven't been deleted.

Bizarre.

lucyellensmum · 27/06/2008 21:09

ive reported too, im worried that cloth ears has been caught up in a wave of well, i dont know what. This is not the sort of place for this sort of thing to be judged. She should have been advised to talk to her doctor, in fact i think she was, more than once. but it has been like a bit of an online witch hunt, very uncomfortable reading.

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getmeouttahere · 27/06/2008 21:20

Hi Bexgirl.
Im a single lesbian mum about to move to Exeter and was wondering how I go about meeting others in a similar position.
Where abouts are you as I would love to be able to have contact for advice etc.
x

This is how clothears is spending her time while she is sooooooo worried about her dd.

This was posted this evening on the gay parents topic.

Anyone feeling silly yet?

PinkTulips · 27/06/2008 21:21

dear god, she spoke to the other mum!

what a mistake.

my dd is 3.5 and her favourite phrase is 'x isn't my friend anymore' or 'i don't wanna be your friend anymore' maybe the friends child uses similar phrases?

while you should always deal with any concerns you have regarding your child quickly and never second guess them i think it is very dangerous to read too much into a very young childs disjointed telling of a incident from several days ago.

the correct action would be to allow the authorities to question your child and ascertain whether there is any real concern NOT to go flinging accusations at someone you know and trust based on a 3 year olds rather confused and unclear accusation

BlueDragonfly · 27/06/2008 21:24

some very good advice was given on the thread (have read from start)

it may be better to leave the thread so that anyone genuinely looking for advice can see it.

I am not saying that this isn't genuine but i do have my doubts.

KnickersOnMaHead · 27/06/2008 21:27

Message withdrawn

lucyellensmum · 27/06/2008 21:28

Id just like to add, I found a tea spoon in the video this morning. I said to my DD, nearly three, did you do this? She said no, Bob did it? Oh, bob did it did he? Yes like this, and proceeded to show me how bob did it. "are you sure bob did it"? "yes mummy, it was Bob, i saw him" "are you really really sure"....i didnt behave in a cross manner, in fact it was all i could do not to laugh - because bob is my DOG! So you see how a 3 year old might make up an innocent story even if they think there is the slightest inkling they might be in the wrong? Had i of course posted this on mumsnet (leaving out the critical info on Bob's SPECIES), i might have had to put Bob on the naughty step, confiscate his toys, lecture him on electrical safety and worry about leaving him alone in the house.

getmeouttahere · 27/06/2008 21:28

Precisely knickers.

I have never called anyone knickers before

ssd · 27/06/2008 21:32

if this was a wind up then the op is very sick

lucyellensmum · 27/06/2008 21:39

ssd, i dont think its a windup sadly, but i think the OP has been "goaded" for want of a better word into taking some pretty drastic action here. A very simple visit to the docs would have ruled out any physical damage, but this has not been done . Im very skeptical about the whole thing and i just hope that an innocent man isn;t going to be hung drawn and quartered due to advice, no matter how well meaning, given out on the internet. Also, if God forbid, something did happen, the OP has gone about things in totally the wrong way.

ssd · 27/06/2008 21:44

I did find a lot of the points the op made was very confusing, but when a child is involved you don't want to jump to any conclusions or ignore them......

sad really when the op doesn't seem to have anyone to ask about this that might give better advise, on her profile she said her sister is her best friend, I wonder why not ask her instaed of strangers on the web? If she is serious this needs proper discussion, not scaremongering on a website with people she doesn't know

KnickersOnMaHead · 27/06/2008 21:44

Message withdrawn

springerspaniel · 28/06/2008 20:03

Have just skim read this whole thread for the first time. I'm afraid it sounds like a total wind up to me.

Facts don't seem to make sense, which people have pointed out and they haven't been responded to.

Also a squillion people have pointed out about making the profile private, which wasn't done.

Also doesn't seem right to go to the wife, rather than the man in question, if they are as close as the OP makes out.

Finally, the posting on the gay group (not that I've checked for it.)

Sounds like perfect MN bait to me.

KnickersOnMaHead - I bet the man in question (and possibly the three year old in question) doesn't even exist

getmeouttahere · 28/06/2008 20:33

No shit Sherlock

springerspaniel · 28/06/2008 20:37

:-)

CrushWithEyeliner · 28/06/2008 20:39

Oh how sick if it is untrue. So many gave great advice and concern.

I admit when she said she spoke to the other Mother and said she brushed it off I thought - you were just bored and wanted a bit of attention eh?

I feel sorry for her and her DD if this is a wind up.

AuntieMaggie · 28/06/2008 20:40

OMG - I can't believe what I've read here.

The OP had a genuine concern about her DD and wanted some advice but all some people have done is criticised her and called her names!

How does that help?

Without knowing the full history of the relationship with those concerned and what has been said and happened concerning this whole situation (which is pretty difficult to explain on something like this) how can anyone sit there and judge what she has done?

She has consulted the NSPCC and her HV and maybe she shouldn't have spoken to the other mum but who knows why she did or in what circumstances?

And getmeouttahere - maybe she posted that on the other board becasue she is lonely and feels like she needs some rl support... can't think why MN isn't enough.....

lulumama · 28/06/2008 20:42

with respect, i think making an insinuation of child abuse on a public forum, and leaving your pic and location on for all to see is horrendous behaviour. something like this, if true, needs dealing with confidentially not all over the internet, which anyone can see.

getmeouttahere · 28/06/2008 22:34

Auntie Maggie-

With respect, have you read the other thread and the manner in which a post was made?

I suspect not.

I think the only name the OP was called is "loon" which I happen to think is very restrained in the circumstances.

TheMagnificent7 · 28/06/2008 23:50

I don't mind giving the benefit of the doubt, and I hope clothears forgives my assumptions, but I've read back through the posts and it seems altogether possible clothears may not be quite as astute as some of us, perhaps (forgive please) a bit naive?

She may not have as much internet time as some of us, and she may, as her message on the gay parent bit says, be looking to make new friends when she moves. If she removes her details, people in her new location won't see her, so that may be a reason (not a great one considering...).

It could be all a load of nonsense, I hope not, but there has been some good advice on here, so for anyone not brave enough to ask these questions out loud, there is a little detail on here to go through.

KnickersOnMaHead · 29/06/2008 08:25

Message withdrawn

ssd · 29/06/2008 08:31

I don't understand why clothears hasn't came back, or maybe she regrets opening a can of worms?

surely no one would make a wind up op about possible child abuse? yet agree it all doesn't make sense/ring true to me

if the op wants to make friends in a new area and this is a wind up, possibly she won't get many offers?

TheMagnificent7 · 29/06/2008 15:44

Yep. Should have taken the pics off a few days ago,

Abitconcerned · 29/06/2008 19:15

Mmmm I would certainly keep the knickers, the difference between blood and pen will be easy to analyse and let the experts do the talking to your daughter and say very little yourself until they arrive.
I would at call the police asap and least rule out the possibility.

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