Is anyone else basically running a restaurant at dinner every night?? 😩

[Momylola]

Dinner at my house has been a straight-up circus lately. One kid just announced they’re going vegan, my youngest is deep in that “plain pasta or chicken nuggets, nothing else” phase, my husband acts personally insulted if I put leftovers on his plate, and my middle one can’t do dairy. So I’m over here squinting at food labels like I’m trying to crack a code. Most nights, I’m running three short-order menus and just hoping at least one person actually eats. I cannot be the only mom barely hanging on here, right?

Between picky eaters, allergies, diet trends, and the grocery list that never ends (and is crazy expensive), it honestly feels like I’m running a diner, minus the tips or any help. How are you all handling this and not losing your minds? Hit me with your survival tips, or just tell me I’m not alone! Moms, I’m all ears.

I prepared three separate dinners for five long years. Initially I had one very picky eater but that was fine as everyone else was omniverous. Then elder daughter, aged thrirteen, decided out of the blue to be vegetarian. I quite enjoyed the vegetarian cooking and some of the dished were delicious, if somewhat labour intensive. But the omnivores wouldn't eat them ( well, they would but only as an extra side to a "proper dinner.") Then the vegetarian turned up her nose in favour of Linda McCartney products. My problem was finally solved when they all went off to university. One term of the "vegetarian options" in her hall of residence put paid to the vegetarian. Omnivore son was happy in college getting "three squares " daily and when the youngest (the picky one) went off to halls where she could cook for herself, things in the kitchen cooled down beautifully. Only the ever-demanding greedy guts (ex-husband) remained. Most of you will be astute enough to know what happened there. He's someone else's problem now and I am free to eat whatever I like, whenever I like. Do I ever feel nostalgic for those by-gone days of the family round the dinner table? Absolutely bloody NOT.

We are very much a one meal household with adaptions for allergies or preferences. I am gluten free (intolerance not allergy) and I have two 'I only eat plain pasta' children.

Everyone in the house has the option to be involved in the weekly menu plan....most rarely do. I decide a meal, make adaption for GF and sometimes rice instead of pasta or sauce on / off pasta etc. But I refuse to make more than one meal. I get the usual I'm not eating that comments from the DC, but ultimately they will eat it.

Thanks for your kind words. Your message gives me hope that we’ll figure it out, too. And you’re right, this might finally be the push I need to change our food habits for the kids’ sake. I like your idea to involve them in the whole process, not only in meal planning but also in budgeting. Time-consuming cooking is one thing, but having to make budget choices that make everyone happy is the toughest for me, and it is actually why I end up spending hours at Asda.

Plug all of that into ChatGPT and let it create you a weekly meal planner

Shouldn't be too much of a stretch as OP's posts were written with AI for some reason. Makes it hard to know if it's a real user who just can't be arsed to write their own words, or someone farming content for an article or something

I feel your pain, and take the advice, thanks! That is what I kind of already do, but my main problem is finding ideas that don't just involve eating pasta and rice with their sauce every day. Initially, I loved cooking, but now it's become such a headache that I don't enjoy it anymore.

I relate to your partner! Actually, reading your message, I realise that I feel proud when everyone is just happy.

I think that's lovely -my message might have come across as a bit terse. It is nice when everyone appreciates the effort we make in the kitchen, and I too try to zone in on the narrow Venn diagram of individual preference. I think the difference between me and DP is that I don't mind saying 'that's what I've cooked -take it or leave it', whereas, although he can be pretty firm on all sorts of other things, the daily tetris of tastes in the kitchen becomes a military campaign for him and he gets way too invested. DD and I have of late decided he has definite 'feeder' tendencies, and we do try pointing this out. Falls on deaf ears, naturally.

Literally, you tell me, let him be hungry, he will eat anything 😂It's been a while since we're together, he is taking care of more of the maintenance and cleaning of the house, so I would feel guilty to starve him, but yeah, I get it now, that he may compromise while we go away from this challenging family phase, until the kids grow up.

I don't think they are selfish. Instead, I think that with my partner, we let the dinner dynamic become bad, and I believe we both have our responsibilities in this, especially after reading all the messages from all of you moms. Thank you so much, I see a bit clearer!
However, I believe kids will always have their preferences (I am speaking about my last one here), and it is our job to broaden their dietary preferences for a healthier life. For my older one, the vegan, she is really struggling with something bigger than just " I don't want to eat that". Of course, for the middle one, he is not saying anything, the poor one, and loves everything he can.

I am curious here, what makes you think I am playing the martyr? That's a struggle, and I have friends who are also dealing with similar situations. This is my first time writing on a forum seeking help, and surely, I may be part of the problem, but martyr? So please develop.

Make up stuff separately, add say cheese to bolognaise, make veggie, I’m afraid I was allowed some dislikes, I hate gravy so allowed dry dumplings and drained meat.
The bullies whi say eat or leave create issues, glad I wasn’t that mum either

Very wise

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2011/oct/26/french-government-banning-vegetarianism-schools Read this. It shows that French schools are literally banning the daily vegetarian option.

And also, the French medical community is against vegetarianism, and the recommendations are quite clear that kids should be eating animal-based protein to be healthy. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31615715/ .

While veganism itself is not illegal, parents face severe consequences if their dietary choices lead to malnutrition. In this case, I totally understand the parents being condemned, but the law is very clear about it, unlike in other countries. https://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/french-vegans-charged-with-child-neglect-217512 . I started looking into this because I have one friend living in Toulouse, and her paediatrician told her it is child mistreatment to reduce meat intake. So I was like, Am I mistreating my child by letting her go vegan?

I appreciate those really clear advices on meal planning! We’ve tried doing it all together a few times, but it always ends up with, “I want this!” “No, I want that!” and in the end, I just make the choices by myself. Thank you!!

It makes so much sense. I love the idea of a themed meal. It makes it more fun. Everyone can share the same meal, but with their personal needs and preferences. Thanks!

That is wise! I hadn't thought about AI helping with this 😅 . Actually, since we started the conversation yesterday, I realised I am not alone, so I started looking online and found some apps that look good too

Yes, maybe I should take it more easily. Thank you for sharing. I take your advice to make dinner time more fun with family games at the table to reverse the weird dynamic at play.

Yes! That is exactly my point. I am putting so much pressure on myself to make sure my kids grow up with real food and, by the way, also learn to enjoy it. It is so important to me! Thanks for the recommendation. I looked it up online, and it looks great. I will read it. It is tough to find relevant information out there.

Sure, for the nugget lover, it is just a phase, and I was using the image to make it easy for people to understand me. I should have said maybe, peacky eater. And I agree, I try to avoid industrialised food as much as I can, but we pick our battles, and one thing at a time.

I love the way you break down the situation. It helps to take some distance from it. That's a lot to read tho. Will do the forum this weekend.

Not exactly on TikTok. It may have started from there, but it's been a while now, and she looks up legit documentaries. So I really want to support her.

So I have one vegan, one picky eater, and one dairy-intolerant who loves everything. For my partner, it's a mix of factors.

I didn’t say it’s actually illegal to raise kids who avoid meat in France. I said “almost.” It was just a shortcut explanation when I was talking about everything I’ve learned on this journey. One of the big things was discovering all the cultural differences in protein intake, recommendations, and medical advice that seem to be culturally dependent. In another comment, I shared the references that led me to that conclusion, specifically about France's positioning.

Reading your post, I also got an idea: a family recipe book that everyone could fill out! Thanks again.

That is a good way to look at it. Away from work is not possible for now, but better "together" family meal planning is becoming a must! And family cooking sessions will be one of my next trials.

you need a family meal planning session- each person has to come up with something every one can eat. If they don’t, just cook what you fancy

I can feel you've become a champion at this! Thanks so much for sharing your ideas. You just made our menu for the coming weeks.

I don’t have the issues you have. I do cook one meal and mostly the 3DC eat majority of it.

I think in practical terms you’re gonna have to create a list of 5 or 6 main meals that everyone can have and just rotate them. Then thrown in the odd Jacket Potato night, wraps with whatever you want in them, Hot baguettes with chips.

I don’t envy you but you’ve got the take the reigns on this

English is my second language, and I used Grammarly for the main post and here and there when my English is not good enough.