Is anyone else basically running a restaurant at dinner every night?? 😩

[Momylola]

Dinner at my house has been a straight-up circus lately. One kid just announced they’re going vegan, my youngest is deep in that “plain pasta or chicken nuggets, nothing else” phase, my husband acts personally insulted if I put leftovers on his plate, and my middle one can’t do dairy. So I’m over here squinting at food labels like I’m trying to crack a code. Most nights, I’m running three short-order menus and just hoping at least one person actually eats. I cannot be the only mom barely hanging on here, right?

Between picky eaters, allergies, diet trends, and the grocery list that never ends (and is crazy expensive), it honestly feels like I’m running a diner, minus the tips or any help. How are you all handling this and not losing your minds? Hit me with your survival tips, or just tell me I’m not alone! Moms, I’m all ears.

Make sense! Easier said than done at home tho, but I'll take the advice. From all those messages, I can see that I may be too soft with them.

She is 13, but the thing is, all her friends at school are into it. They watched a lot of documentaries on animal well-being, and now she says she’s disgusted and talks about adults being nuts for not doing anything. I understand her point of view about the meat industry, but I’ve never really changed my own food habits. I’m hoping she’ll eventually lean more toward a vegetarian diet instead of being fully vegan.
On the other hand, I also read that it’s almost illegal not to feed kids meat in France, which surprised me (Here it is not the case). Then I discovered this whole thing about ‘cultural’ recommendations, every country seems to have its own way of suggesting how much protein kids need. In some African countries, they even recommend eating insects. I try my best to help her understand what all this means for her health, but at her age, I feel like I should be supportive instead of fighting it. My husband sees it the opposite way.

13, 10 and 5. Yep, you are right. Maybe I put too much pressure on myself. It is fine if they eat more pasta with simple pasta sauce!

My parents had no patience with picky eaters and there was no money for alternative meals. We ate what my mother cooked or we went hungry.

So don't? You cook a meal they eat it or not up to them stop playing the martyr

Same here one meal was cooked and that was it 😊

Husband and fussy eater need to curb it. Their requests are ridiculous - you don't need to cater for them.

Dairy free and vegan can be put together and adapted for the whole family to save time and money.

I found that many vegan dishes can be adapted to a meat / Dairy diet.

We are veggie, but youngest DS (16) likes to have some meat. A chickpea curry for example can have an seasoned chicken breast from airfryer on the side. There will be some fish with potato bake and the lentil Bolongese he just has to eat as it comes!

I know you are at the very beginning of your journey, but if you use dry pulses like chickpeas or butter beans your food will be tastier! (If you do meal planning, its easy to soak them overnight. )

It’s not almost illegal not to feed kids meat in France. What on earth are you about? Your research sounds very limited. Either do the work or don’t.

I feel your pain. When my dc’s were younger I was sometimes making three different meals. Not so bad now they are 23 and 21 but there are occasions we all have different things. Example, myself and husband have pie and mash, son has hunters chicken and daughter has fajitas although she sometimes cooks them herself.

There is no 'may' here.

They watched a lot of documentaries on animal well-being, and now she says she’s disgusted and talks about adults being nuts for not doing anything.

Great. Now she understands it's up to her to pull her finger out if she believes in it.

This is the best idea.

Then they eat it or have cereal.

I would make sure the fussy one is not living of a load of carbs and junk. Be fussy, but you will only be eating the elements of the meal that is being provided.

The vegan will have to do some serious meal planning if she wants to make such a big change to her diet. Maybe she could make a couple of meals at weekends to freeze for during the week.

No, refused those kind of shenanigans … both DDs are veggie, dd1 super picky (nd) on top but they got what they were given and had to pick out unwanted food, bar meat, I served meat free for them. I stuck to my guns pre vegetarian right through the chicken nugget phase, as they only come from McDonald’s you know! Fresh food daily, you have to stick to it right through that super fussy stage even when they aren’t eating much or you are making the problem for the future. My good refuser aged 3 was a tough cookie throughout primary years food wise but as an adult eats healthier mostly vegan

DD was very fussy and wouldn't eat sauces/gravy. It took.a long time to realise she didn't like cooked tomato. Over time she gravitated to white sauces and then full on casserole/gravy.

However, she would always eat plain food: a lamb chop, a fillet of plaice, etc. Therefore when we had spag bol, I made some of the mince into a burger for her, ditto casseroles and if we had fish pie, she had a piece of plain fish. She had a dry roast dinner.

I doubt she'd have started eating everything if I'd faffed about making her completely different meals, or if nuggets, etc, ever had a place at my table.

I appreciate issues like ARFID need a different approach and are serious.

Never did that. I cooked what I wanted to eat for the week on a Sunday, every one helped. Did enough meals to get through to Thursday. Also did a vat of plain pasta. There were 2 options - plain pasta, no sauce or what I was eating.

From 11 onwards everyone cooked one evening meal a week.

Pasta and rice based meals with veg / plant protein on top and a bit of chicken/meat for you and dh

Fussy kids gets pasta with chicken / meat.
You get vegan meal plus chicken/meat
Others get vegan meal.

Component based meals.

No. I used to but out an End To it. I made everyone sit down and tell me what they liked as meals from the repertoire and what they didn’t. From there we made a list of easy go to dinners everyone eats. Then we have list 2 that is dinners people eat most of but some adjustment needed.

List two is, eg, Mexican (tortilla) as we put all the bits out and everyone just adds what they like. Or chicken/potato/salad except one kid has a small steak instead.

then the gamechanger has been basic meal planning. I have a list in the fridge of meals each week so everyone knows what’s coming which has genuinely made a difference.

The other thing is that my kids are now 14 and 11 so can cook a bit for themselves. If they don’t fancy something I’m making they cook their own pasta for tea.

Your H needs to shape up and help too. Mine cooks a few times a week and we share the load.

The only one I would accommodate here is the dairy free one (obv)

If your daughter wants to be vegan, she will have to take on a lot of the faff that comes with that (it will soon put her off, I'm sure) Stop being such a martyr

This is a good idea actually. Make the sauce without the anchovies (can be added as a topping for the non vegans) and serve plain pasta (with cheese?) to the child who won't eat the sauce.

Serve that every day and if anyone complains, they can think of other meals that everyone eats. Keep making them do that until you've got a list of 7 meals that can be served on rotation.

DH gets what he's given or he sorts himself out. I assume that he doesn't hide at work to get out of cooking work long hours every day, so why can't he cook on other days?

Why oh why is there no laugh emoji 😂

Are you a SAHM? If not, why are you doing all the cooking?
As a vegan myself, I think it’s admirable that your DD is compassionate enough to choose veganism. There are lots of vegan options out there that don’t take much work to prepare - pre-cooked tofu pieces, vegan sausages, burgers, pies, chicken pieces, mince, salmon, nuggets, bacon, kebab strips, ham, cheeses, frozen pizzas etc; there’s also tinned chickpeas, butter beans, baked beans etc; hummus. Feel free to DM me for any tips or advice.

Love this!!!

I became a single mum when mine were at secondary school. I worked full time and came home later than them. They would often cook tea for themselves before going off to their clubs. They could both rustle up quick meals.

Everybody in our family of four has different dietary requirements. When our extended family visits (most weekends) we have ten different sets of restrictions to cater for - it’s a mix of health issues, allergies, religious vegetarianism, and ARFID.

So the approach we take might be helpful:

• all meals are planned, including the various mains and sides.
• a lot of stuff is prepped, and frozen in single person servings so that bit can just be reheated on the day
• we do themed meals so that everything on the table goes with everything else, and anybody able/willing to try something new can do so
• anybody old enough is expected to help! Typically one child might help me chopping/prepping before the meal, one might be in charge of washing up/tidying while I’m cooking, DH and I will clean and tidy up afterwards. Once you’re in the habit it’s a nice way to get time just with one family member.

Absolutely not. One meal for all of us. I wouldn’t tolerate the veganism, DH is grateful for what he gets, don’t have to deal with ARFID or allergies luckily.

They all like different things, sometimes they have to suck up something they don’t like. I try to make sure there is always something on the plate they’ll eat. But it’s hard enough trying to ensure a balanced meal plan over the week without any other nonsense!