Is anyone else basically running a restaurant at dinner every night?? 😩

[Momylola]

Dinner at my house has been a straight-up circus lately. One kid just announced they’re going vegan, my youngest is deep in that “plain pasta or chicken nuggets, nothing else” phase, my husband acts personally insulted if I put leftovers on his plate, and my middle one can’t do dairy. So I’m over here squinting at food labels like I’m trying to crack a code. Most nights, I’m running three short-order menus and just hoping at least one person actually eats. I cannot be the only mom barely hanging on here, right?

Between picky eaters, allergies, diet trends, and the grocery list that never ends (and is crazy expensive), it honestly feels like I’m running a diner, minus the tips or any help. How are you all handling this and not losing your minds? Hit me with your survival tips, or just tell me I’m not alone! Moms, I’m all ears.

I have the same issue. One vegan and two ND people who don’t like the same things. It gets easier as they get older and can cook their own dinners or at least plan what they would like so you don’t have to do it every night.

I have multiple allergies and the rest of the people in my house all have ARFID. We rarely manage to eat the same thing. Many of their safe foods we have to make sure to avoid cross contamination even so there is no chance I can eat them.

I don’t cook for everyone. My actual child with ARFID gets me to cook some things for her if it’s something safe for me to be around. My husband is on his own. As my child is getting older, more often I am requiring her to prep more of her own meals, even if I could technically make them.

your leftover hating husband and vegan daughter need to start cooking if they want menu control. this should not all fall on you.

“If you want to go vegan you cook your own meals or come up with meals we can all enjoy together because i can’t cook any more separate meals”. At least vegan and dairy free can eat the same thing!

Well I wouldn’t be providing meals for a child who has randomly decided to be vegan. How old are they? Do they understand what it means and how to eat a decent diet whilst being vegan? Personally, if they’re old enough to understand how to be a proper vegan then they’re old enough to cook.
Also My DH would get told to feed himself if is going to moan about anything I provide.
The only one I’d be changing things for is the one with the allergies.

My mum wouldn’t have tolerated that nonsense and nor do I. It’s one meal, take it or leave it.

As a kid, I ate what was put in front of me, or I didn't get any dinner. No WAY would I have sat there and dictated to my mother what she was going to cook for me. The thought makes me shudder

When younger, my son ate what he was given, as do the children of my siblings and cousins.

Pasta puttanesca for all, anyone want anything else m, they can cook

Yep fuck that shit. Unless what I cook is actually going to kill you, you eat it or make your own meal.

Im slightly exaggerating to make a point, but the vegan and your H need to feed themselves

It must be really hard being married to a man without hands.

You need to find some common ground and make “base meals”
e.g. spaghetti bolognese…..plain pasta or with tomato sauce for the fussy one, make a tomato sauce (with hidden veg) then split between meaty mince and vegan mince or accept the vegan goes low protein and just has tomato sauce.
baked potatoes with a meat and vegan protein source and salads.
fajitas - do the veg with seasoning and add beans for the vegan, cook chicken separately, fussy child has just a plain chicken wrap.
roasted veg tray bake and cook the meat or fish separately.
sausage, mash and beans - use dairy free spread and milk in the mash and vegan / meat sausages.
chilli - won’t hurt anyone to have a veggie chilli with plenty of beans, rice and avocado salad (make the fussy child a cheese sandwich!)

Nope. Unless it's a full on allergy, not happening. In fact my DDs decided they were going veggie at 11 and 12 years old. That's when they started helping to plan, prep and cook the evening meal. Dh was working abroad then, so not around much, and I actually went veggie with them. But good vegetarian cooking is labour intensive, so they had to join in. Actually set them up well for life, especially at Uni, they cooked and ate well, and budgeted like pros.

I cook a meal for all of us and family members eat any parts thereof that they like. For DCs, this sometimes equates to not very much, but the food is right there if they are hungry enough.
DP does what you do; catering to individual preferences. He curses and preens in equal measure at the annoying effort of it, and the gratitude and praise he receives from our DC. He is autistic and cannot get with the idea at all that we are sometimes served food that is a little less lovely to us than we would prefer, and that whoever is cooking gets to call the shots. He grew up with very restricted dietary preferences which his mum catered to, and I don't think it's occurred to him that parents don't have to comply with every culinary whim of their offspring.

This was me during Covid when kids back at home from uni. I discovered the joy of batch cooking - everything in individual portions, people choose what they want to reheat from the freezer. The Batch Lady books are great, for recipes and techniques. A bit of time investment will be worth it later!

This would be me! I only have DP and DS4 at home and luckily DS will eat anything but DP oh my fucking gosh...

Can't eat gluten. Thats fine accept that one. I dont want you to die. BUT the list of things he "doesnt do" is endless.

I entertained it for a while at the start of our relationship but now I cook one meal (alter his if it contains gluten) and THATS IT.

Shocking how this man suddenly eats dinner when the option is that or make your own.....

No, I’ve honesty just never cooked my kids different meals. At a push I will give them each the veg they prefer more if there’s something they really don’t like but it’s few and far between.
Occasionally one of them might moan about it and not touch their meal but I don’t cook an alternative.

Apart from the allergy I wouldn’t pander to this crap.

Eat what you’re given or starve

DH has been veggie since before we met and youngest DS has very restricted diet and will stop eating completely for days (is under CAMHS). There’s another DS who’ll eat anything other than quorn type ingredients. So we’ve been cooking 3 different meals most nights for about 10 years. I’m used to it. Top tips: a lot of batch cooking (I have 3 freezers) so there’s always something healthy, home cooked and pre-tested. I don’t sweat about repetition. Every meal time has at least one component in common eg rice, pasta, a fresh vegetable and everyone gets something they can eat. I have 5 rings on my hob but bought an electric ring as sometimes I can’t fit everything on together. It’s a fine art.

A good meal example is chicken casserole:
make 2 meals worth in slow cooker with chicken, veg etc. Before I put the rice on I do a vegetarian copy on hob with quorn pieces. Youngest DS gets the chicken out of the casserole served with rice and broccoli, 2 of us have chicken casserole with rice and DH has the veggie version. I would have cooked extra rice so the leftovers are frozen in portion sizes as the youngest DS eats a lot of plain rice. There’s a few chicken casseroles for the freezer which helps another night.

TBF my family and friends think I’m bonkers. But I don’t want to be a vegetarian, I don’t want my husband to give up 45 years of vegetarianism and I want my youngest son to eat. These are my choices and I’m cool with them.

I think that this is a real rod that you can make for your own back. I'd cater for allergies but otherwise I just cook one main meal and people eat the bits they want. If they choose not to eat then they get offered fruit or just have to manage being hungry.

Yup - I try to do one meal but all with separate bits so people can mix and match as they will. The exception is new meal Monday when I always try something new - it’s not usually a success but I won’t be defeated!

My mum has a sign in the kitchen where I grew up that says:

Dinner options

1. Take it
2. Leave it

There have and will always be 2 options at my house. Take it, or leave it.

I was cooking for myself when I was vegan as a teenager

Definitely meals that can be assembled. So tortilla wraps with then a variety of fillings (choose and assemble your own). Pasta/rice with separately cooked chicken /vegan bites and a separate sauce. Again assemble the bits you want.
Pizza bases and then assemble your own from a selection of toppings.
Make a vegan chilli and then add spicy wings on the side for meat lovers. Or fry up some mince separately and then split the chilli in 2 at the end and stir in the mince.

Make life easy buy frozen breaded chicken and vegan bits and then do them all in the oven together. Make some batch stuff and then defrost. Be less ambitious and serve the same food every week !

is this AI? Or are you writing an article?

This is me. I love being their mother in every way except feeding them. I dread it. I’m spending a fortune on rubbish and eating out/takeaways because I’m exhausted by it. And Teens require food constantly and complain in equal measure.
I bloody well baby led weaned them too.