Pregnant at 34 with a 50-year-old husband, any experiences?

[Sinsin2026]

Hi i have just found out in pregnant i am 34 dh is 50!! We have 3 children all girls 11,2 and 1 years, it has come as a bit of shock and we have talked about it but for my dh he’s concerned with his age being 50 which is understandable he will support me whatever choice i make but termination for me isnt an option, i just want to know if anyone has been in this situation or children that have had older parents what was your experiences? Dh is an amazing father and yes its going to be super hard with 3 under 3 lol, am i over thinking all this or shall i look at this as a blessing! And yes i will w getting sterlised after this 😂

Maybe it’s the reality of three toddlers… three teens etc rather than specifically having a child at 50.

34 is still a great age to have a baby, and plenty of people become dads in their 50s. What matters most is having loving, involved parents, and it sounds like your husband already is. I think the shock is probably making everything feel bigger right now, but this absolutely can still be a blessing. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and lots of luck with the chaos of 3 under 3

It is hard to see why being a dad at 50 is so different from 49 or 48. It sounds very hard to have 3 under-3s but you have made your decision so I wish you all the best.

Hi OP, this was us!
We had our first when DH was 42 and last when he was 50.
2 of each so 4 and all planned. I’m 17 years younger so very similar to your situation. My DH is now 70 and our youngest is 20. DH is still very fit, active and very sharp. People are always amazed when they find out his age. All of our DC’s would say that they had a brilliant childhood as both me and DH adore our children and each other. I’d love DH to be 10 years younger only to be able to keep him longer but I guess there are no guarantees with anything. We’ve had 28 wonderful years together.

Honestly my first reaction on seeing your thread title, was "Don't", & that was before reading other details.
Frankly it is not a good idea. a new bigger car, triplet pram, His age obviously isn't ideal either, but 49 or 50 ....
3 kids is enough, I'm sorry you feel you are getting negative replies, but its because many people here think its a bad idea.

@Mithral I was thinking of having possibly more patience and time but I did chuckle at your message

Well you’re clearly hitting peak fertility now lol. 😂 I’d be more worried about birth control than your husbands age. I’d also be worried about exhaustion, for you both. Congratulations btw. On your happy news.

I was 47 when youngest was born & my father was 50 when my youngest brother was born.

I have been mistaken for Grandpa several times when they were younger...........

Yes I didnt play football with them but it would be just the same if I had had them at 18

But you were 23 when you had your first? Why can’t he have a vasectomy?

Congratulations OP! What other people think of your choices doesn’t matter, but I for one think it’s great. I had 3 under 3.5 and it was a blast, no regrets at all. They’re in their 30s now and still incredibly close.

Re your DH - well I guess it’s hard having babies in your 50s, but he’s used to it now! Make sure you both have life insurance, and enjoy!

I think it isn't negativity op, but more just that you and DH will be in a better position to answer your question. He's already a 50 year old dad to a 1 year old, so I'm not sure any of us have much closer experience than he does.

It just isn't that clear what you are asking.

I think when the baby comes they will only need a double pram - which she probably has already.

I would agree with this.

There is a tendency on MN to lament that older parents are washed up and not a patch on a young parent, but I think they are just different - and, for my money and the things I value as a parent, I would say sounder parents. No, they may not chase you for hours at the playground or have trainers you want to borrow, but they tend to have financial security, wisdom and, perhaps most importantly, have done what they wanted and are ready to focus on a child as priority.

100% this. ^ Not sure really what you were expecting people to say @Sinsin2026 What were you looking for? Advice on what> For what?

Honestly I don't get what advice you need. This is your 3rd pregnancy in 3 years so you know what it's like and what to expect and you've already made the decision to keep it so just get on with it.

Respectfully, that is bollocks. It depends entirely on the parents. I say this as an older parent myself (51, and husband 58) with kids aged 12 and 10. We're perfectly capable of active parenting and all it entails. I see plenty of much younger parents that do very little actual parenting and, ironically in light of your comment, leave quite a bit of parenting to the grandparents!

This. You know what causes it : )

True this. There are a lot of fit active 50 year olds and some massively obese unhealthy 23 year olds. The fit 50yo has a better life expectancy too. It's down to the person as an individual.

Ok, so elderly parents need care- so what? Your 2nd example makes no sense in this context.
And I was commenting on the harsh tone of that poster, making it sound like all older people have this fantastic holiday life and anyone who has a young child at that age is miserable.

No one here can say for sure that just because it was fine/wasn't fine for them that it'll be the same for you.
Id very much imagine its going to be hard work.

You've stated that termination isn't an option, so you just crack on and prepare to be parents of 3 DC under the age of 3.

Having a child in my early twenties and then one in my late thirties, and being significantly more knackered second time around, I cannot imagine going through the baby and toddler stages at age 50! 😱 And for the third time in quick succession.

So if he's generally a hands on dad, that's a lot. 3 under 3, age 50 and being an active father.

If he's not generally a hands on dad then you will have your hands very full, but you already did anyway.

I'm honestly not sure what your aim of this thread was?

He's told you what he would prefer, you know what you would prefer. Have you talked about how the two are wildly different?

Will he plan to stay despite telling you it's not what he wants? If he stays will he resent the third baby and you? If he leaves can you manage practically and financially?

Also - you will be a hands on parent for the next 18 years. And then likely a carer. That's a long term load for you in terms of caring responsibilities. 😕

No experience but keep the baby and its a new child in the family. You are young he is 50... what did he expect lol. Congratulations on the new baby coming.

Rubbish!
I’m mid 60s. Consider myself to have a young mindset, but sadly my body doesn't seem to agree. I work part time still, play a very active team sport twice a week, cycle and walk every other day, and am healthy. Sadly, my knees and hips seem to have given up the ghost so after looking after my toddler grandchild for a full day once a week, I feel knackered. It’s got nothing at all to do with having a ‘younger outlook’.

If your husband didn't want a 3rd child why didn't he have the snip?
He's 50. He doesn't want a 3rd child.

Sterilisation for women is a far bigger op than the snip for a man.

Was this pregnancy an 'accident' or did you want the child and go ahead anyway, without some form of contraception?

Have you tricked him into it?

It's not unknown!

Okay - but you do understand that not all women of your age have knackered knees and hips.