Pregnant at 34 with a 50-year-old husband, any experiences?

[Sinsin2026]

Hi i have just found out in pregnant i am 34 dh is 50!! We have 3 children all girls 11,2 and 1 years, it has come as a bit of shock and we have talked about it but for my dh he’s concerned with his age being 50 which is understandable he will support me whatever choice i make but termination for me isnt an option, i just want to know if anyone has been in this situation or children that have had older parents what was your experiences? Dh is an amazing father and yes its going to be super hard with 3 under 3 lol, am i over thinking all this or shall i look at this as a blessing! And yes i will w getting sterlised after this 😂

Why is he concerned about his age when he has a one year old? What difference will it make

I don’t really understand the issue when you have a 2 and 1yo.

Your DH would have been late 40s when you had them, so how does him being 2 years older make it any worse?

I think you’d be mad if your DCs were all grown up but if you’ve got young ones anyway then you’re not putting yourself out more.

How are you planning on travelling with 4 kids, 3 needing car seats?

What happens if you get pregnant again?

At least if he has retired by the time the younger three go to uni, they might be able to get higher loans rather than you having to fully support three simultaneously!

You can never predict though. I’m an older parent so I know I won’t be around when my kids are 60 and that does make me sad (although by then hopefully they wouldn’t need me, as such), but my dad lost both his parents by the time he was 30. I lost my dad when I was forty so I didn’t get 60 years with him (he was 32 when I was born).

Most people who have children when they are older are extremely financially secure due in part to uninterrupted careers.

DH and I are older parents and will both be retired before DS finishes primary school.

We cleared our mortgage and maxed out pensions before we even TTC. We will be in a far better position to fund uni etc than most working parents.

loads of negativity.
I think the later years will be a proper challege financially so its essential that you both are open and honest and plan as far as you can. The advantage you have is time and the fact that you will have a good opportunity to earn in the later, most expensive years.
Re hysterics regarding Uni- being really clear that all will need to work for a year before starting and pick degrees that enable them to have part time jobs- and stick to it for all should take care of that.
Other than that, enjoy it now- pay for any extra help that you can afford.

Sure and some tragedies do occur but the later in life you choose to have children, the more likely you are to not see them into even their 30s. I likely won’t have my dad at my wedding, for example

Ah op, don't stress too much about his age. I'm pregnant with my 8th at 41 and husband is 47. Husband however is fitter, healthier and more active than most dads I know in their 30s.

What advice were you looking for @Sinsin2026?

Are you and your husband worried because he's now 50?

He's only a year older than he was when you had your last baby.

If you can afford it, keep your baby.

But I'm 69 myself, and the thought of having teenagers in my life at my age horrifies me.

Is your husband happy with the news of the new pregnancy? Does he think you should have an abortion?

https://www.parliament.uk/business/publications/research/olympic-britain/population/have-kids-settle-down/ apparently the average age at first birth was also 29 for women in 1910. The 1960s and 1970s were a blip, for births as for so much else. Those giving birth in the '60s and '70s will also have (on average) a decade or more of retirement (and so a decade extra retirement in good health - especially the women who still fell under the old special retirement and state pension at 60 years old rules) than their parents or their children.

That generation was anomalous, it hasn't been a trend but a blip.

I'm unsure of the gravity of difference of having a baby at 49 compared to 50 tbh.

I had my last at 40. One thing I'm conscious of is that I'm currently ferrying my 22 year old 300 miles to uni ( you can't get a train with your entire digs equipment before anyone points this out). I'm mindful I will be doing this in my early sixties still. It's not just teens toddler and baby years. I'm going to be financially holding them up until then too.

But this would be case anyway with your youngest two anyway so what's the difference with another a year later?

I accept I could have worded it kinder. But I otherwise disagree with you. We have become a society where no one is allowed to point out the truth because #bekind. But, ‘be kind’ only seems to apply to the individual themselves, and there is no thought going it to how being kind/validating an individual impacts others. (TRA would be the classic example) In this case, it impacts the children. There are many posters on this thread who have agreed with me, well the sentiment and reality of my comment at least, and also many adults who were children themselves to this dynamic and have detailed negative consequences. So, I would argue my comment IS kind, it’s asking op (or in fact others who are reading this thread and might be thinking of doing similar as she has no doubt left this thread and it’s too late now anyway) to consider how her actions and wants affect other people. Forewarned is forearmed.

Hmmm, was just thinking this…

OP, I was 21 and DH was 34, almost 35, when I had our son. He was a fabulous Ddad, very fit and ‘young’ for his age. Played sports with me and DS, no illness, no age-related problems at all - until…
he had cancer diagnosed completely out of the blue, aged 50.5 years. The cancer was everywhere and he was given around 3 weeks to live.
He died at 50 & 9 months.

Blew our world to bits. DS was just 15 when he died. I was mid thirties.

If youre happy and your DH is happy, crack on lovely. But that age gap does not get any narrower, and you may end up a carer or an even a widow at a relatively young age. That is not a good thing to be. Take it from one who knows.

I wish you many happy years together 🌻

I think it 's fine. There are no guarantees in life. If you're up for it. It will be quite nice for the other children. I'd rather have a 50 year old Dad that some spotty reluctant teenage dad.

As other PP’s have said I wouldn’t get too stressed if you already have a 1 year old. The new baby and the youngest one will get to spend lots of time together growing up. I’m not sure why DH is worried it will be harder with less than 2 years difference? Being an older parents has good sides and bad sides. It really depends on the person and their energy levels and/or financial security to pay for additional help.

I don't really understand. You had a child when he was 48 and 49 so what's the difference? Is it just the 3 under 3? Yeah that'll be hard. Three pregnancies in quick succession would be tough on your body.

I don't understand what advice you're looking for though. I massively regret giving my son such an old father but you've already done it twice so I don't think you want telling that people think he's too old.

What??? He's only 50 for goodness sake. He's functioning perfectly well.

It’s difficult to know what to say, really. It’s not like there’s been a 20 year gap between one child and the next. You’re going to have 3 very small kids so it’ll be a tough few (and more) years. I hope your husband is youthful, still fit, healthy & has lots of stamina.

You've got a 1 and 2 year odl, how is this untrod waters? It'll be like it is now but with a fourth mouth to feed, third b to change etc.
You'd do better asking for experience of going from 3 to 4 or 2 under 3 to 3 under 3.

Congrats. You've already decided to keep the baby so honedtly you'll just work it out.

My grandparents were 34& 54 when mum was born (1970’s). She’s a bit weird but not because her parents were a smidgen older! Please don’t allow DD11 to help too much…

bye twin buggy and ask mum for support and find a nursery for the older toddler and this is that....it is your choice really

but look, younger woman being carer to her husband is much better than older woman being carer to a man close to her age...if you really thought about it

I have a 24 , 10 ,4 and currently 38 weeks pregnant. Me and hubby are 44. And 46 . You will be fine op , it’s not unusual at all these days

Who for? Not the younger woman.

@whatareyouwaitingforr You may be lucky - my Dad was 46 when I was born, and I was 56 when he died. My mum, on the other hand, was only 30 when I was born, and I was only 44 when she died. You can never tell.