DD(7) asked what orgasm meant after playground chat

[Narwhalburg]

Not quite sure if I handled this right, or if I need to do anything.

Whilst having dinner tonight my oldest DD(7) asked what an orgasm was. I almost spat out my food. She actually said 'a norgasm' like she was talking about an animal of some kind!

I asked where she had heard that word, and she said that some boys had been talking about them in the playground. She asked again what it was, and I said that it was a nice feeling that mummies and daddies have when they make a baby. This did the trick in terms of allowing me to change the subject but I wonder if that was a correct age appropriate response. I also wonder whether those boys should be talking about it in the playground! Should I raise it with someone?! I don't like the idea of that kind of stuff being playground chat. But on the other hand it would be awkward to raise and perhaps a bit busybody-ish.
DD didn't mention it again so hopefully she will forget about it (and isn't too disappointed that she won't be seeing any norgasms at the zoo!).

No I don't think your response did but I think telling a 6 y o about masturbation is wrong. Why is there a need to expose them to things they have no experience of

No, of course it didn't. Your daughter knows she can ask a question and get a sensible answer.

That's no reason. Children have no experience of sex or childbirth when they have sex education.

My 7yo has no experience of orgasms. I have no experience of space travel. Neither of us have experience of Australia. But if she asks about any of those things, or anything else, she will get a factual age-appropriate answer. When it comes to sexual matters that might be nothing more than a sanitised quick explanation and a caveat that it's really something only grown ups talk about. But that's better than ignoring it or lying.

Many children start to find pleasure in touching themselves before 6. It's helpful to teach them to do it in private with clean hands.

When a child asks you a question and you refuse to answer them, they don't just forget about it, they go and ask someone else. If you want children and unknown adults teaching your child whatever they like then sure, tell them to wait.

When she asks what do I say? Do I say “don’t ask about that?” She can ask me and her dad anything in the world and she will get an age appropriate answer. First we need to know where she’s heard it, so we can check she isn’t in any immediate danger, but once we’ve established that she can know. She knows if she goes and tells other kids, there will be very serious consequences - because I respect other people’s right to not tell their kids things. Most of the time she’s overhearing stuff at school or out and about, she is a nosey child. She’s going to hear things.

After thay have experience of these things would be rather too late!

And it's entirely developmentally normal that a child that age has noticed pleasant sensations when certain areas are touched, so they may well just not have the word for it.

That's just wrong. Yes they can have a phase of touching themselves as toddler but it goes away until they're older. It's meant to be suppressed but you are going against that to encourage it

Of course children need knowledge before they have experience of things. Chad Varah set up the Samaritans after he had to conduct the funeral of a young girl who took her own life when she had her first period. She had no idea what was happening and thought she was dying.

My DS is the same age and did some topic work just before the holidays on organisms OP..... I think it was called living things and their habitats and they definitely used that word because I was impressed he could spell it

Bless her, my Son is in year 8 and they seem to have covered most topics in great depth in recent sex education classes, or whatever they are called now, far more than when I was at school.
I asked him if he had a good day and he replied that it had been awful because of the lesson.
I replied that if he had any questions I would be more then happy to try and answer them for him.
With a deadpan face he said he would “literally rather boil his head then discuss sex with his parents” 😂
Well done for your answer though, I would have been scrambling to try and think of something to say!

I honestly don't know if I'd prefer her to have heard the word orgasm in the playground (wildly inappropriate).or misheard organisms (in which case I have thoroughly confused her and didn't actually have to explain the concept of an orgasm to a 7 year old)! 😀

Its meant to be suppressed? What on earth do you mean by that?

Well from what I've seen it normally is suppressed around toddler age. Maybe from social conditioning. Freud probably wrote about it

Her children were all made to wear mittens in bed 😔

Where are you getting this from?! Are you just making things up ?

She probably believes it makes you go blind.

Well I certainly wasn't masturbating when I was six !

How do you suppress a toddler not to touch themselves by social conditioning? How are yoy defining social conditioning?

And? That doesn’t mean others weren’t.

As a Reception teacher i often found children fiddling around down there while sitting cross legged on the carpet. Obviously I discouraged them while not drawing attention to it. I'd have a quiet word with the parent later. It's not something to do in public at school but you're wrong to say children don't do it.

I think you handled it well!

But it’s also reminded me of the time I was playing Scrabble with my Dad when I was about 11 and I played the word ‘gonads’ and my poor Dad couldn’t keep a straight face! He eventually managed to ask where I’d heard it and I innocently and very confidently answered that it was an architectural term 😭🙈 he gently corrected me and then teased me about it for years 😁

Worried this thread is taking a turn towards perv fodder,on the unlikely chance.

I think you managed it well OP.

???

Just tell them to stop it