DD(7) asked what orgasm meant after playground chat

[Narwhalburg]

Not quite sure if I handled this right, or if I need to do anything.

Whilst having dinner tonight my oldest DD(7) asked what an orgasm was. I almost spat out my food. She actually said 'a norgasm' like she was talking about an animal of some kind!

I asked where she had heard that word, and she said that some boys had been talking about them in the playground. She asked again what it was, and I said that it was a nice feeling that mummies and daddies have when they make a baby. This did the trick in terms of allowing me to change the subject but I wonder if that was a correct age appropriate response. I also wonder whether those boys should be talking about it in the playground! Should I raise it with someone?! I don't like the idea of that kind of stuff being playground chat. But on the other hand it would be awkward to raise and perhaps a bit busybody-ish.
DD didn't mention it again so hopefully she will forget about it (and isn't too disappointed that she won't be seeing any norgasms at the zoo!).

My parents had a similar issue when I was 8 (a mighty 35 years ago now). I proudly told the dinner table that I knew how to do a blowjob 😳. One of the girls in my all-girls class had four older sisters and had overheard it from them…and shared her completely incorrect version with us over freaking needlepoint 🤣 I have since learned that one does not blow on the appendage, at least.

My parents never raised it with my teacher for which I am eternally grateful as I would have been absolutely ostracised by the other girls. They did tell me that it wasn’t appropriate dinner conversation. My poor parents though, I can still see the look on my dad’s face as he spluttered 😂

I strongly disagree. If a child asks a serious question they are entitled to a proper answer. Orgasm is not a rude word.

I do think it's possible the word she meant was organism but it depends what else the boys said.

Yes. I have replied that before

it’s a good recovery moment

But it was the playground so dc could have been 10/11 and just had sex ed?!

we really do need the return of the 'laughing' emoji.

This was my thought. But then I don't think orgasms are covered in sex ed are they? In Y6?!

That is brilliant!

My daughter’s nearly 13 and I’m by no means prude but I’d probably choke on my dinner if she asked me that too. Now I’m wondering how I answer this if she asks me 😂

No it wasn't an age appropriate response. That would have been to say she will find out when she's older

It would probably be worse for you at that age because you couldn't get away with the child's answer about making babies like I could. Good luck if she does!

I asked my mum what a virgin was after watching Grease 😬

OP I’m laughing so much at you telling your friends your grandad had a vagina 😆

she was supposed to have sex ed today. She’s had it a couple times at primary but it got cancelled. She’s knows if she has questions I’m happy to answer but she politely told me no thank you 😂

Omg 😂😂

I hadn't thought about that memory before today for about twenty years. I still remember my mum saying 'No. ANgina! Vagina is your privates!'

My DD8 asked me what "virgin" meant. I was worrying about where she'd heard it but a few questions later i realised she meant as in Virgin radio. Always good to dig a bit deeper before jumping straight to a definition!

DD6 asked me what “wank” means a few weeks ago. I asked her what she thinks it means and she said she thinks it means idiot. She had heard some teenage boys arguing on the street and one called the other a “wank” (presumably wank stain? Wanker? I don’t know what the kids are calling one another these days). I told her it can be used as an insult but said it’s another word for masturbate, and that she’s not to go around saying it…. Obviously as soon as her dad got in she had to tell him she knows what wank means.

You handled it well, kept it factual and simple. I always ask them what they think it means and the context they heard it in first just because I think it helps.

My friend’s son asked her what fisting was, he was in year 5 or 6 so had done basic sex ed at school but had heard about this from a mate’s older sibling. My friend, who prides herself on never lying to her kids, sat him down and told him exactly what it meant. I think I’d have said I didn’t know, rather than explaining it to a ten year old!

What on earth are you telling your 6 y o about masturbation. What is the need ?

I always ask what they think it means.. sometimes it's completely far from what we think

What about their innocence ?

Its quite the opposite. Keeping things honest and factual with correct anatomical names for body parts and their functions actually prevents grooming. A child disclosing to someone Mr/ Ms/ friend X touched/ asked me to show/ told me to do x to my cookie/ fairy/ other cutesy name for vulva and vagina has potential to get missed.

It also shows that op is a trusted adult who will answer a question without flinching or getting flustered and it's likely ops child will ask them/approach them again about other things. This stops the secretive googling/ asking friends/ AI answers from the internet that can lead to a whole other rabbit hole of inappropriate content.

Op was factual and by answering it and not making a fuss and quickly changing the topic is has not become some big secret/ powerful word that gets a reaction from adults.

I'd mention it to school, more of a x came home and mentioned orgasm's been discussed in the playground, just wanted to give you a heads up way. At 7 it's likely some children in the class may have teenage or close to teenage siblings, some may have young adult siblings and are hearing words or being exposed to more mature content. Not in a predatory way, but purely through the things their teenage siblings say/ talk about with friends/ watch on TV in hearing of their younger siblings ect.

Because she’s asked. If they’re old enough to ask they’re old enough to know. It’s better she hears it from me or a trusted adult vs someone who doesn’t have good intentions. She knows it’s private, she knows if an adult asks her about it to go and tell a trusted grown up, and she knows not to tell other children because that’s a conversation they need to have with their trusted grown up.

You're not talking about innocence you're talking about ignorance.

In the 1980s every household got a leaflet about AIDS. My child was about 6 and could read it. I answered all her questions factually including 'what is a condom' . I can assure you she is a perfectly well balanced adult.

I don't think my explanation robbed my DD of her innocence!