DD(7) asked what orgasm meant after playground chat

[Narwhalburg]

Not quite sure if I handled this right, or if I need to do anything.

Whilst having dinner tonight my oldest DD(7) asked what an orgasm was. I almost spat out my food. She actually said 'a norgasm' like she was talking about an animal of some kind!

I asked where she had heard that word, and she said that some boys had been talking about them in the playground. She asked again what it was, and I said that it was a nice feeling that mummies and daddies have when they make a baby. This did the trick in terms of allowing me to change the subject but I wonder if that was a correct age appropriate response. I also wonder whether those boys should be talking about it in the playground! Should I raise it with someone?! I don't like the idea of that kind of stuff being playground chat. But on the other hand it would be awkward to raise and perhaps a bit busybody-ish.
DD didn't mention it again so hopefully she will forget about it (and isn't too disappointed that she won't be seeing any norgasms at the zoo!).

I think.you handled it perfectly and yes id defo mention to teacher

I would not expect 7 year olds to be discussing something like that so yes would definitely mention it to the teacher!

Mention it to the teacher as a safe guarding concern.

I also think you handled it perfectly, and I don't think I'd have been able come up with such an answer on the spot!

Are you sure it wasn’t organism ?

I wondered the same tbh.

But yes, tell the teacher, just in case DD responds to a classmate's news of a new baby on the way with "Did your parents norgasm when they made the baby?!

Oh god. Maybe that's what she meant! In which case this is a massive misunderstanding which I have made many times worse!
She definitely didn't say organism but I can imagine how she got confused (this is bringing back a memory I haven't thought of for years, when I went around telling my friends that my grandpa had 'vagina' when actually he had 'angina'!).
Makes me even less keen to tell the teacher now.

Pah ha ha! Now orgasm definitely will be playground talk and you will be the source!

I think you handled it really well. Perfect definition. ⭐

Yes, boys are definitely known for talking about organisms on the playground…

I think it was probably orgasm, someone will have heard an older sibling say it. Yes I would mention to teacher.

I would have probably been more factual but similarly minimal in my explanation.

Just to flag though while we might all hope these conversations aren’t happening this young I’m afraid that’s quite naive. I’m involved in a research study via work and it’s suggesting that the age at which boys first see porn is now between 6 and 9.

They are when they are seven! I’ve broken up a year two fight about fronted adverbials. Well, a loud argument.

What would have been a more factual way to express it? I am keen to get it right if it comes up again. Obviously I was on the spot at the time!

Don't even want to think about your research. It's horrible to think of.

Thanks. The problem is I really don't want to say the word orgasm in front of a teacher don't know the identity of the boys concerned, and don't want to bring it up with DD again. Maybe I could raise it in a general way. I don't even know whether it was Y6 boys in which case is it even inappropriate for them to know the word and what it means? I don't know what the PHSE stuff is that they learn at that age.

Sorry but I would have told her that she shouldn't be using that word at her age but I'm clearly old fashioned (despite not actually being old). By explaining it you're basically giving her the green light to go and tell her friends in the playground. Which is exactly what the boys were doing and you were concerned about them.

Why would you need to answer this question again to your 7 year old?! Surely the conversation is over, nothing more to say. I think it’s odd you felt she deserved this descriptive explanation- if my 7 year old asked this I’d be massively concerned about the kid who originally mentioned it and flag that to the teacher. Shut the conversation down, they’re 7 not 13. Some things are not age appropriate. It’s basically grooming chat isn’t it? Why talk to your 7 year old about this.

😂

I know that as a teen I read a book that used the word "orgasmed" non-sexually in a context where it clearly meant making the mmmmmmmmm-mmmmmmmm noise that we interpret as "wow this is delicious" when trying food. I was just old enough to know what "she orgasmed" would mean in a sexual context and I was thoroughly confused by reading a sentence that described someone as orgasming from a taste of a delicious meal (this was pre-"When Harry Met Sally" too, which I guess does date me rather)

I'm hoping I won't need to answer it again.

Sorry if you feel it odd that she deserved a descriptive answer. I have always been open with things to do with the body / making babies etc in an age appropriate way. In the heat of that unexpected moment I was trying to do the same thing. In my mind there is nothing that is so inappropriate that it needs 'shutting down'. There is an age appropriate explanation for everything, even if that is 'It's a private thing that grown ups do' or something. Shutting stuff down leads to confusion and shamed neither of which I want my DD to feel especially since she was innocently reporting an overheard conversation.

I’d have probably said it’s just a grown up word and left it at that

I’m picturing her teacher saying this morning boys and girls, write a sentence containing the word organism 😱

Think you handled it perfectly OP. I wouldn't do anything more, and wouldnt bring it up again. Disagree with inappropriateness/grooming comments - its a fact of life and youve naturally imposed a limit by describing it as something "mummies and daddies" do so she knows its not for children. Unless it comes up in the playground again dont mention it. Remember there is LOADS she doesnt know about the world and this is one in a long line of "whats that" questions, it feels like a big deal to you but this is not a memorable or important conversation for her. Doubt they were talking about organisms BTW.

Children deserve factual answers to their questions about the world. What would you have said?

Arm children with facts. Even if you think they’re too young. They asked the questions-they deserve answers.

That’s a great way to shut your child down and make sure that she never comes to you again to ask questions about this sort of thing

Your answer was fine, op. At 7 it’s perfectly ok for them to know the basic facts of life. I would mention it to the teacher but I wouldn’t be overly worried.

I remember at about 5 asking my mum what a virgin was as I’d heard people saying at school that if you wore white knickers that meant you were a virgin (!) and she responded by telling me about the Virgin Mary, which meant that for years I thought a virgin was someone who had a baby without being married 😭

Bahahaha! I spat out my tea laughing at this!