Who should share a room in our blended family home?

[Lost4Madness]

My husband and I have a 4 year old daughter. He has a DD 18years old and DS 16 years old who come to stay 5 days out of 15 (although sometimes less, depending whether they make other plans to go out and remain at their mothers). We’re about to buy our first home and I’m not sure on sleeping arrangements. My husband is adament his eldest DD is to have her own room…but I’m not sure who our DD should share with. Any advice?
PS there’s no other room to use as ‘bedroom’ except a sofa bed in living room.

Deleted as I obviously hadn’t RTFT

Can you put a divider wall up in the second large bedroom so each of the teens get half without officially sharing and still have their privacy

Please don't make your DD4 share a bedroom with her teenage half- brother. Abuse within family happens. Dont place her in a vulnerable position. Id rather leave the relationship than have her share with a teenage boy.

I despair of people that don't actually do critical thinking but immediately blame the husband just because the o.p has drip fed some stuff

I am so sorry for your loss, in regards to the house my friend had to downsize with her two children she gave each child their own room and she had a sofa bed in the living room and slept downstairs till the the eldest went to uni x

How is this misogyny?

having more children than you can support is just shite for the children

Because it says "he" when the o.p has agreed to that arrangement because thats the reality

I’m so sorry for your losses. I can’t imagine how awful that must be.

Obviously the 4 yo doesn’t share with her 16 yo brother - that’s the maddest suggestion of all!

None of the children can share with each other.

It’s either four bedrooms or you two as adults make the living room into a bedroom for you two and sleep there until the eldest leaves home.

None of the children should have a room
that isn’t fully their bedroom.

Don’t get it

it’s her job to keep her children safe

So...she has already consented to this because it is happening now...yet people are blaming the husband...she has already put this into place...so blame her as well

This is surely misandry?

In any event, it’s all super weird and creepy

So sorry for your tragic loss, OP, and good to learn you plan on removing your DD from the shared room.

You are deluded if you think that anything other than a 4 bed family home will work.
Teenagers need space. I know, I have 2.
The 4 year old will be a teen too and needs a room and privacy.
No way would I give upmy bedroom for a stepchild.

Who made this mess? You & your husband.
Who can’t affect 4 bedrooms? You and your husband.
Whose job is it to clean up this mess? You and your husband.

Women in one bedroom
Meb in one bedroom
Bunkbeds if necessary
16 yr old gets her own room.

Save up for 4 bedrooms.

You have to make sacrifices when you blend families.
Not your kids.
Not his kids.
You and your husband make the sacrifices
The kids never asked for this - did they.
So why do you two get to keep your room but the kids are all inconvenienced??
Is that a joke?
You’re joking - right?
Do the right thing.
Like, the first thing I’d do is apologise to the kids for putting them in this tight situation.
I think I would’ve thought about this - planned it out a little better beforehand.
And when I say beforehand, I mean pre-wedding.
Surely you thought about your kids and his kids abd your financial circumstances abd so on.
I know you love him and all - but now look - you’re trying to figure out the bedroom situation in a house too small for your big family.
And instead of you playing musical chairs, you’re making the children play musical chairs.
And they never asked to join in.
Good luck - maybe the littlest could bunk in with you in your room. At least until her older sister leaves home.
Houses are ridiculously expensive everywhere. Congratulations on buying a 3 bedroom. I know you’ll figure out a way that makes everybody happy.
Sending love from faraway ❤️

is it possible to split the largest room into two? Stud wall?

Sort the rooms where you are now with some of the suggestions that have been made here.

Dont buy anything with him untill you can afford bigger that can accommodate all.

DSD18 in box room
DD4 in master bed with you
DSS 16 in bed 2
DH can either share with you & DD4 or share with DSS16 or sleep on the sofa!

Can you move to a cheaper area to gain an extra bedroom?

'shouldn't' - according to you.

OP hasn't asked for parenting advice 🙄

Why shouldn't a 16 year old stay up late at weekends? He could be leaving home for uni in 17 months - he won't have mummy giving him a bedtime then!

Ltb.
No way would I buy a house with this cretin.
Buy a place of your own, divorce him and find some peace.

Honestly, the shit that women put up with on here is staggering.

But they could get round this by putting the stepson in the small bedroom and then the stepdaughter and daughter sharing. Still very far from ideal but better than the current arrangement.

@Lost4Madness you need a 4 bedroom place.

I couldn't afford a 4-bed either OP; hence why I knew blending families of a man with other kids wasn't practically going to work. As I already had two children of my own when I divorced my ex, I looked to only date men with no children.

Dd4 has her own room -its her only home she needs her space as everyone else.

you and hubby keep your bedroom again its your only home/space

dsd or dsd either limit their stop overs and only visit separately and sleep in box room or one in box one on sofa( u can get a pull out bed)

failing that, you will need to reduce sleepovers your youngest needs to come first.

does sound like your partner cant have a rational conversation about this i would be having doubts about this relationship never mind getting tied into a mortgage with him