Why do twin parents pay double but get no extra help?

[Twinmama11]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… having twins means buying everything x2, but there’s not really any extra support or discounts out there.

It kind of feels like we’re just expected to manage it?

Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

But surely you know that lots of people who don't have twins can't afford to pay for their children to learn to drive, never mind provide them with a car, neither of which are essential expenses for any family.

Paying double for after school clubs/activities/sports, double for school trips and school uniforms, double for driving lessons and first cars (as pp explained). Older twins are highly unlikely to want to share clothes. Older twins are more likely to need their own bedrooms. Having twins doesn't stop being more expensive than having one child as they get older.

Those costs are not any different to having 2 children of different ages, especially if they are close in age. That’s my point.

As maternity leave is often detrimental to career advancement and finances, a multiple birth does bring a "2 for the price of 1" benefit.

No you risk having a baby but twins is too rare for it to be classed as a risk, unless it’s through ivf.

But when someone plans to have a baby and has worked out everything financially for 1, then having double is a lot more difficult than having 1 and then reusing the items for the 2nd.

And as they get older it’s still double the cost.

If you have 2 kids separately then you can pass down a lot of items or you only have the expense once every now and then eg secondary school uniform but having twins is double the cost.

They are different. They're staggered. And those choosing to have two children will have likely prepared themselves (financially, emotionally, practically) to support two children.

It is actually. A great many shops and brand offer twins discounts through the twins trust. You just don’t know about it unless you have twins.

Of course they should get extra as they can’t hand things down, also childcare for two at once is crippling, fair enough if you choose to have two close in age but twins just come along unbidden (despite the genius comment above that you could just abort them☹️)

I also definitely think you should get double the paid maternity leave, that’s only fair and probably needed due to increased need to finish early with twins if your job is at all physical

re childless posters resenting paying for education etc. we have all had an education ourselves, whether have children or not and whether we had siblings or not. My kids schooling is for them (as actual people, not an extension of me) and for future society

Parents of twins have my sympathy - but that’s not the same as saying they deserve to be financially compensated

Or if they go to different schools? I can already see our DD's picking different secondaries

The biggest 'twin issue' by far must be having 2 sets of nursery fees at same time. That vastly eclipses cost of 2 cots etc, and I think that thete should be option for extended mat leave with twins

Because the expense is much greater and can cause real financial hardship for some.

If you don’t believe we should help any woman/family because they’ve chosen to have children then fine. People can agree or disagree - we all have differences of opinion on what public money is spent on.

But to say, well we’ll help you if you have one baby but if you incur extra expenses by having twins then tough luck, you bear that cost yourself…it’s not logical.

As I said, many families aren’t financially prepared for twins and statistically, why should they be? Twins are 1.25% of births.

Lots if people have pointed out that the costs for twins are because you have to buy everything at once. That’s really hard financially.

We help families with means tested benefits in other ways and we do that per child - child benefit, universal credit, child tax credit. By your logic, none of those things should exist because those people chose to have children?

Baby sensory and baby bounce- ROFL!
I spent a lot of time weeping with exhaustion. Because they were also both PFB so everything had to be done perfectly and I had no life hacks ready-learned from a previous baby. I would be ironing their clothes at midnight to make sure they were properly dry (silly, I do know). They were also 6 weeks premature so there was lots of parental paranoia about their fragility/vulnerability. And I BF for 8 months which took nearly 12 hours a day until weaning because we never mastered two at once.... I was lucky to have six months maternity leave on full.pay but that didn't feel anything like enough...

I don’t know what your issue is - you pay for each child you have, and you have two. The world isn’t a BOGOF deal. Anyone with two kids, or three or whatever, pays for each child.

The difference is that you need to buy the same things at the same time; you’re not staggering the expenses. So with car seats eg, you buy one and then in a year, you buy another. With twins you need to buy two at once. And same for most things. That’s where the big expenses lie - it’s the timing than makes it different with multiple births.

I think that gets much less as they get older although there are still some things that crop up with twin expenditure that’s different. But certainly it’s the younger years where the extra costs are the highest.

I do think there are some quite shitty comments on here - the idea that if anyone wants a baby they should be financially able to support two babies or else terminate is pretty appalling imo.

Every twin mum I know was really shocked to find out they were carrying multiples - I just don’t really understand the attitude of “well, you knew it was a risk” when the chances are so low. It’s not as if women deliberately chose to have twins and then complained about the cost. I don’t know - I just think compassion and empathy is pretty much at an all-time low in general right now.

But why can't people who are preparing for 1 child not prepare for 2??? If 1 is 'just about' affordable in the short term, with no or not enough savings as back up, can they really afford children at all? Why not wait??? Save. Prepare. Instead of your problem suddenly being everyone else's (taxpayers) problems.

Why does the state have to cough up more if you have twins - because you wanted 1 but got 2 which you declare you can't afford or should get taxpayer help to pay for via clothes, shoes, bigger car, 4th holiday ticket...

It should be your family, your bills, your responsibility, your problem. State Benefits are there to protect the most vulnerable in society, not people who have had twins fgs.

If you can afford private IVF at 10 grand a pop and you get twins, tough. Be a parent.

If it makes more financial sense to pay 2 lots of full time child care at once and go to a full time job, then it is a very well paid job, many, many thousands after tax. Money clearly wasn't a problem before you got pregnant in that kind of role, so you should have saved and prepared for this eventuality (twins).

To be paid enough for it to still be profitable to go to work full time means you don't need state handouts or any other handouts... It's for poor and sick people, not those in the 40% tax bracket bleating on.... Yes, life is tough. You CHOSE to have kids and change your circumstances.

FFS. It’s not a race to the bottom. Plenty of singleton parents have god awful maternity leaves for a variety of reasons (child sickness, traumatic birth recovery, crippling PND). Should they get extended mat leave because they’re special too?!

But many many people don’t buy everything brand new! The only thing you might feel you need to is a car seat (though having said that, we borrowed one from friends so we knew its history) and a cot mattress. Things like cots, High chairs and bouncy chairs can be second hand or borrowed. With clothes it’s even easier nowadays with Vinted etc.

yes, we get the point that with twins you may need to double up on some stuff at the same time whereas some costs are staggered with babies close together.

but it doesn’t mean most people agree people with twins should get financially compensated because they’re spending money at a particular point in time rather than another!

I see where you're coming from but the bigger items that cost the most money can't really be shared.

2 infant carriers
2 next stage car seats
2 bedside cribs
2 cots
2 highchairs
Double pram which usually costs more than a single if you want a decent quality one.

I also can't say that my twins shared clothes and we still needed twice as many bottles, nappies, wipes, formula etc. Toys can be shared to an extent but it isn't always that simple. I do appreciate that some of the bigger items can be bought second hand and birth to whatever age car seats are available but personally we chose the safer option and also didn't want to just buy the cheapest products (I know many people don't have that option though). We also couldn't physically fit 2 cots in our bedroom so needed 2 cribs before they could go into their own room in the cots. It's just issues like that which come with twins really. We've also never had any twin/sibling discounts for anything. They also won't necessarily have the same interests or attend the same clubs and activities. You just sort of get used to it though!

I’m not even referring to buying things brand new. No idea where you’ve got that from.

An expectant mum might have looked and budgeted for things like Moses baskets and bouncy chairs on Vinted. Car seats I’d always buy brand new unless you’re lucky enough to know someone well who can pass theirs on.

My point remains exactly the same. You have to buy two. At the same time. And THAT is the issue.

We see lots of posts on here from people who are on a decent wage but with COL they’re still just about managing. Buying things for one baby and being on maternity leave really stretches them financially - we see it discussed countless times. And that includes using Vinted etc where you can. They have budgeted for buying things second-hand and then boom! They have to buy two, which isn’t within their financial scope.

I didn’t have anyone to borrow things from. My friends either had older DC so had gotten rid of any useful stuff or they had opted not to have DC. The only things I’ve ever seen shared around in friendship groups was baby clothes.

Also worth mentioning that a greater proportion of twins are premature and tiny, which increases the costs further.

You either agree that society should support pregnant women to prevent poverty for children, or you don’t agree that the public should help at all. Both are viewpoints that people take, depending on their own personal values.

I don’t understand why we wouldn’t recognise that multiples are vastly more expensive, and support a woman with essential needs when it’s financially indicated. For me that’s a no-brainer. I’m glad TAMBA managed to get the maternity grant for twins doubled because historically you got the same amount whether it was one baby or three.

Huh?

If you have twins you have double the child benefit for 18yrs. There is your advantage over parents with 1 child.

It costs the same to heat a house for 1 child as it does for 2. Standing charges for water, gas, electric, council tax, are the same for 1 as for 2, so with two lots of child benefit for twins, why don't those parents with twins stop grumbling... Yes, you are worse off regarding car seats. But you're better off regarding benefit help towards paying these bills... 2 kids worth of child benefit pretty much pays the council tax on a band C home. 1 kids worth pays just half the council tax...

Twins don't get double the amount of child benefit. It's the same as having 2 children. You get more for the first child then whatever it is for the second. But it isn't double. Also where do you live that child benefit can cover a council tax bill??

But why can't people who are preparing for 1 child not prepare for 2???

Is this a genuine question?

Realistically nobody prepares for twins in any way including financially. I've never spoken to anyone who has planned a pregnancy and kept it in mind that it could be twins. Almost everyone expects one baby and plans accordingly. It's just another batshit mumsnet idea that everyone should be prepared for multiples 😂

It's also probably the same kind of people who like to shoot down the idea of twins being any harder than a singleton and say things like "Twins aren't really
twice the work because you're doing it for one anyway" And they're easier due to being "at the same stage" and "don't they just entertain each other?"

"Double trouble" 😂

I think it's a batshit mumsnet idea that people with twins should somehow get prioritised financially or via maternity or paternity leave.

Why can't people pay for their own kids???? What the hell have their children got to do with me or the rest of society...