Why do twin parents pay double but get no extra help?

[Twinmama11]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… having twins means buying everything x2, but there’s not really any extra support or discounts out there.

It kind of feels like we’re just expected to manage it?

Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

Some people don't plan on having a baby at all but things happen, should they get extra benefits and discounts too?

I had twins 18 years ago. I agree, the costs are phenomenal, and any savings/discounts are minimal. There was maternity grant paid per pregnancy but not per baby - has that changed?

2 car seats, a way more expensive pram, 2 cots, 2 lots of nappies…. And then nursery. That was an absolute killer. Full time for 2 babies even back then was £1800 a month (with sibling discount). My take home pay wasn’t that much!

It's possible to feel more than one thing at the same time - acknowledging that multiples cost more than singletons doesn't mean parents aren't also delighted to finally have their much longed for child(ren). Feeling fortunate also doesn't magically make you have more money in your bank account.

It's just the same as having two children- which is what most people have, why would it have discounts?

It's not though, is it?

My babies are 10 months apart and will be in the same school year, the main costs I have found is clothes as both still in the outgrowing quickly stage, we have two highchairs, baby chairs etc someone said to me I bet you havent had to buy anything for the new baby and I replied ‘I have had to buy everything really as baby is still using all of it!’

A 10 month age gap between singletons isn't the same as having twins.

We have twins and I don't disagree entirely but I think as they got older it's less of an issue... I still hate people saying "it's the same as 2 children" it isn't in terms of you can't hand stuff down, you have big purchases at the same time (I remember car seats being a pain) and whilst you don't need 2 of absolutely everything it's more expensive at the time and whilst child benefit is double mat pay is the same so it seems very tight early on. Our nursery costs for 2 under 1s were astronomical!

However mine are 12 now and it's much, much less of an issue and probably more akin to having 2 close in age. I also think that like others have said, the fact they are in to similar things and are at a similar stage makes parenting easier.. lots of my friends have 2/3 year gaps and finding it hard to find things all their kids can do.

I see your point O.P and I do think it is worth asking at certain places cause I remember some soft plays etc near us did multiple discounts. But as a twin mum who has been doing it for a while..it's short term pain then long term gain!

Better early support and affordable childcare is needed if you have multiples. Returning to work was unaffordable for me after having twins due to high nursery fees for under 1s. Parents of multiples are less likely to have family support for childcare whilst working, my personal experience was no family help with childcare as twins was 'too much'. Regarding mat leave, mine were 8 weeks premature and 6 weeks of mat leave was spent travelling round with twins needing care across 3 hospitals. Lots of early hospital appointments in first year. Help to get out the house is a real thing with newborn multiples, can miss out on groups etc. I would have preferred more childcare/physical help (nanny/nursery) than cash. Nappies, equipment and newborn/toddler essentials x2 is expensive and unless you go on to have more children stuff doesn't get the same reuse/2nd wear as age gap siblings.

Yes of course it is- having twins is always a possibility when you get pregnant- you have to roll with it, particularly as it is not particularly rare.

If you are talking about physical help to mind twins or triplets try contacting a local college, many will place a student with in a home as part of their practical training, even prestigious nursery training establishments will offer practical help with triplets as part of the course, it counts as work experience on their course.

Help from who? Discounts from who? Low income women who can get that government grant do get it for both twins.

And you get child benefit for 2 children, 30 hours funded childcare for both children. Twin discounts in most places, I don’t have twins and I’ve seen a twin discounts in most large places for buying car seats and big equipment. Yes not bogof, but given you would get cb for 2 I wouldn’t say it’s entirely unaffordable.
no it’s not the same as having 1 child and physically I absolutely sympathise with any twin parent. All my children were very very big, (two were bigger alone than my friends 2 together who were twins), and pregnancy and the carrying afterwards was so taxing on my body. Physically also the tiredness with twins, I can’t even imagine. THAT is not at all like having one baby, and I truly sympathise with that.
but financially, I don’t see why a twin parent would think they’re entitled to any more than they get already.
but we have differing opinions and that’s fine 🤷🏽‍♀️
maybe twin mums don’t always know about the discounts you can get, but there are many. Simply safe car seats do a twin discount if there are any twin mums on here worrying about car seats right now. I believe so does little peas, who also I think sell prams and pushchairs.

Twin parents should get double maternity leave and maternity pay, I had a singleton first and got the same time off work and same pay but had 2 babies at once second time round which is double the work and not as easy as one at all so think that aspect is unfair.

I don't get child benefit. I also don't expect any financial assistance because I'm fortunate enough not to need it. But it is more expensive to have twins than to have one baby, that is just a fact, and I can absolutely see how having multiples would financially cripple some families.

Those of us who have multiples are well aware of the discounts, they really aren't as impressive as you think.

But you’ve got 2 kids. Sane as if I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old. Why would you get help?

I did. My twins are 42. We had to buy two of everything except a bath. Family allowance was also a source of annoyance. The rule meant twins received less money. In 1983.

And then you get all the “two for the price of one” comments ….
It’s just flaming expensive and hard work. Not to mention all the mums who tell you there’s only 18 months between their children so “practically twins really”.
But. It’s wonderful and amazing and very special.

I am aware

I remember being astounded that the first twin got the higher first child benefit and the second one got the lower 😂

It’s really not the same. You can pass things down from your elder to your younger child.

I used to follow a couple who had two embryos back and got quads. Would you expect them to have just sucked it up and not be given any extra help?

It's not the same though, is it?

Hope it all works out @PeonyPatch I know not the point of this thread but my girls (not twins) were IVF babies (private London clinic) be really really kind to yourself!! It’s a brutal process.
OP, I have singles as income for us is high we dont qualify for the child benefit at all so I don’t know if what you are getting is fair or not. So sorry it’s tough with twins (emotionally, physically and mentally and financially ). Do you have family help

We have twins who are both off to uni this September. We honestly don’t know how we will support them through this next stage financially as we don’t earn enough as a family to have spare money and my dh was made redundant earlier this year. He has a new job but had to take a pay cut and change industry.

We got through the early stuff pretty well as we got lots of hand me downs and, having 2 children already, we didn’t buy anything unnecessary. We have always bought second hand uniform from pta sales with the exception of the first two secondary school blazers and that has saved loads. Unfortunately they chose to go to colleges that required uniform sold in a package for £220 each for each year so finding £440 for each year was a challenge we could have done without! Thankfully only one went on the residential trip so that was only £700. We earn too much to get assistance and we earn too little to roll with the financial hits.

We will manage, we usually do, but it is so different from having two children born separately.