Why do twin parents pay double but get no extra help?

[Twinmama11]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… having twins means buying everything x2, but there’s not really any extra support or discounts out there.

It kind of feels like we’re just expected to manage it?

Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

Twins are fabulous and have a ready made playmate when young, and holiday entertainment as they grow up. Formula and nappies were a bit of a hit when they were babies but that's only because it all comes at once. I certainly wouldn't expect extra support!

But we've just had a big expense putting them through learning to drive! Now that was huge, especially with one failed theory test and three failed practicals...🤣🤣! Plus the cars! Worth it not to have to drive them everywhere though...😀

Oh give over. Why is it a competition? Are your replies due to jealousy that she is having treatment and I am guessing you didn't? My mental health at the time of struggling to conceive was bloody awful. Some are suicidal. One year can make a massive difference if you are successful or not. For example after an operation to remove endometriosis they often say you have a limited time to conceive.

Plenty of people get pregnant unexpectedly, and anyone can abort any pregnancy. 2 kids is more expensive than 1 wether you have them at the same
time or not. 2 maternity leaves is more expensive than 1, the affect on career lasts longer etc. It’s swings and roundabouts.

Such a pointless and ugly debate. It’s not even relevant to the question on the thread.

I am not comparing the cost of twins to the cost of two children. I am comparing the cost of twins to the cost of one child. I'm not sure why it's so difficult for you to understand.

Finally some sense !

I understand that, I’m pointing out the obvious other side of your argument. Sorry that doesn’t fit with your point, but it’s still relevant.

i honestly have no idea what your autism or endometriosis has to do with me or this thread in all honesty. All the best

It’s a VERY long time. And due to my age, it’s a worrying amount of time! Only discovered I had PCOS a year ago after years of heavy periods!

It's not relevant.

Twins = two babies. Two babies are more expensive than one baby. Two babies born at the same time are also more expensive than two babies born at different times, although less so than when comparing the cost of two babies to the cost of one baby.

Exactly this.

It’s incredibly frustrating that people with babies a year apart seem to think it’s the same as having twins. It really, really isn’t.

Having two children going through exactly the same stage at the same time is much more expensive and harder in practical terms too.

It does get easier as the years pass; it becomes no different than having two children.

But at the start the costs can be excruciating. Having to buy two Moses baskets, two cots, two sets of newborn clothes - no handmedowns - two car seats, two bouncy chairs. I had to buy a new (used) car because a double buggy wouldn’t fit in my boot!

It’s not having two children - it’s having two at once.

I haven’t read this whole thread as it seemly weirdly aggro towards women who have multiples. The general prevalence of twins is around 1.25% so sure while it’s always possible, it’s certainly not the common occurrence that some posters seem to be suggesting.

My twins are teenagers now but when I was pregnant TAMBA were campaigning for women carrying multiples to be given larger maternity grants because at the time we got the same as mums carrying one baby. That may have changed now.

I would have thought that on a woman’s site there would be some understanding of the shock it causes to discover you’re having twins and the hefty extra expense. You may not believe that multiple births warrant extra grants and that’s fine - but when you were pregnant could you have afforded to buy double of everything? Did you budget for that, just in case? Because I certainly see lots of women on here who mention things being tight because of being on maternity leave and buying everything one baby needs. Now imagine those same women having to double their costs.

I guess you could also include the shorter amount of ‘career impact’ years needed for the more intensive childcare.

Yes, but why should they get extra help and any more help than anybody else with more than one child. Nobody forces people to have children. It's absolutely and entirely optional.

I agree that if a woman is in poverty that she should have an additional grant for things but not everyone.

Whilst having DC a year apart is not the same as twins, it does cause the same issues for car seats (ERF seats go to age 5, thr baby ones last til age 2), mine have never shared a car seat. And having DC a year apart is not a choice for many women in the same way that twins aren't a choice

It's harder at the time re nursery fees yet cheaper overall (e.g. I got 3 x years of sibling discount) so again I think that there could be additional benefits for families earning a low wage. I think our sibling discount was 5% - so around £25/day, times that by the amount of days x 3 years i managed quite a saving compared to my friends whose dc didnt overlap at nursery lol

It’s also implied on this thread that families should receive child benefit for the children they’ve chosen to have. As you said, having children isn’t a right - so why expect tax money to fund your children? You can’t expect endless amounts of benefits to help you afford your kids when there are children waiting years just to see CAHMS.

See, we can all do that.

It’s not really twice as much, it’s more like 1.5x as much – give or take. Except for nursery fees, but then I found you can often wrangle a better sibling discount for twins.

The Twins Trust (previously TAMBA) do brilliant discounts on so many brands for twin parents.

Yeah but you chose to have 2 kids close together - that’s completely different.

I had two children born close together… didn’t plan it like that but…! We needed two cots, two high chairs, two car seats etc but borrowed or bought second hand where possible. And new born hand me downs are hopeless if they’re new born at very different times of year. One of mine was in full baby gro/ knitted hats and snow suits while one was in little more than a vest and nappy at new born.

im not denying that having twins is different - and I’ll be honest, we have a lot of twins in our family and I was very relieved all mine were singletons as I think I’d have felt weirdly slightly cheated out of not going through each stage separately with each baby.

But I don’t agree there’s aggro as such towards parents of multiples on here - more bemusement at why there should be some sort of financial compensation!

The thing I do think parents of multiples should get is additional parental leave / maternity leave and perhaps additional statutory maternity pay.

Not everyone does, accidents happen.

If you have sex then you risk pregnancy.

That’s what we tell men.

But you can plan to have a baby and be financially able to have a baby but not 2.

No one chooses to have 2 babies at 1 time.

If they choose to have a 2nd one later on, it’s because they’ve done the math and worked out that they can afford it.
Or they’ve chosen to only use 1 method or no contraception and risk the pregnancy.

Having 2 children at different times is vastly different to having 2 at the same time.

There is no way I could have afforded 2 kids when my first was born and so if I had twins I’d have been screwed.

If you have sex and only use 1 method of contraception then you’re taking the risk of pregnancy.

You can also take the MAP if no contraception was used.

It’s also still more affordable because you’re only having to find the money to buy 1 car seat etc or using your previous one instead of 2 at the exact same time.

Saying ‘if you have sex you risk pregnancy’ is a bit silly, because you obviously also risk having twins. And this post isn’t just about the cost of twins at the newborn stage… it’s about having twins generally. The initial twin cost may be more, but the costs get more even over time, 2 maternity leaves and career breaks is more expensive than 1. Twins parents getting more money and discounts doesn’t make sense in reality.

Twins insurance is the way to go! We took it out because we have a high incidence of twins in the family, we knew I’d be returning to work after 3 months Mat leave (I know! That’s what paid mat leave was back in the day) and I knew we’d really struggle with the double childcare fees. As it turned out we thankfully didn’t have twins but for peace of mind it was worth the premium. If you can definitely only afford one baby it’s worth considering