Never been to preschool

[lisa270988]

Hi my 4 year old who starts school in September has never been to preschool! I have tried a few times but he never got on and I never liked them! He is very social and we go to lots of groups ect. Has anyone never sent their child and did they settle ok at school? Also did the school contact you about visiting ect I'm worried because he hasn't been to any preschools he will miss out on visiting the school before he starts as know preschools often do this.
Will I have a chance to speak to the school/teacher about this

@LittleBearPad Don’t think so. They played with other dc afterwards. The tiredness thing is over stated. My DDs never were tired! I know a few dc were but most seemed lively enough to
me. They never slept after school either. I agree children not attending a nursery at all might well notice the difference but my DDs did nursery part time so didn’t do long days at nursery.

Even if a setting had younger children they would still split the children for activities which were age appropriate to him through? The fact he could play with younger children and they in turn could play with older children wouldn't mean the toys he has access to and the activities he did were just appropriate for the younger children.

Just charity run preschools

They didn't spilt them all in one room! One of the ones ne went to the older children spilt.fot an hour but the other all.the children mixed together

How old was he when he attended these settings? What you're describing doesn't sound like any setting I've ever encountered so it seems odd all the ones in your area essentially have 18 month old children - 4 possibly even 5 year olds (if deferred) in one room doing the same activities?

Yeah that’s more like a preschool group, they tend to be more casual, run for shorter hours, run as a charity, sometimes by volunteers or a parent committee.

You’re looking for a nursery or preschool attached to a school, which are 3+, or a private nursery to use the free hours with.

He started at 3. They just charity run preschools. The nursery I looked at just before he turned 3 where the spillt the children in different rooms.baby toddler preschool ect said they had a huge waiting list so unlikely to have space! I don't drive so had to be walking distance so didn't have many to choice from.

Yes that's what I wanted but unfortunately the school he Is going to doesn't have a. Nursery attached and the only private nursery near me didn't have any space I looked at just before he was 3 I loved it but they had a huge wait list! Unfortunately I don't drive so had to be walking distance

Hi OP I’m quoting my own post in case you missed my comments 😊

You’re right. As your children were never tired it must be the case that no children find the early weeks of reception tiring.

He was 3 years 5 months when he tot he first one a lot of children. Where between 18 months and 2 and half

@LittleBearPadi said “a few dc were” (tired) not all dc were not tired. Can you see the difference?

Yes. It’s important he can be left at school and can fit into school activities.

To be fair I do think it’s not automatically true. Ds wasn’t notably tired. Some children are of course.

@whitehawthornblossom It is MN lore that YR dc are all tired. As in most situations with dc, there are differences. Some get tired but I never saw many like this. A few at DD2s prep and they went to bed at 6.30. They didn’t do much in the evening.

Most importantly regarding year R, is your DS ready to function fairly independently? You could start explaining now what children do at school so he knows what to expect.

As per, @MeetMeOnTheCorner , does he know how to do those things?

Quite possibly he does and perhaps more. Being able to manage his clothes himself (change for PE) and take himself to the loo are essential skills as well as feeding himself if he's eating school dinners. Can he eat those foods? Maybe practise at home. Cutlery tends to be full sized but often loos are child sized so not such a high climb.
Does he know about waiting in a queue/waiting his turn? (Perhaps he's been to the PO or the bank with you?)
Have you taught him his letters/how to read? Can he write?
He may be quite tired at the end of every day. I recommend meeting him with a snack.
Often in yrR classes, there is rolling induction. The older ones start first so depending when his birthday is, he might not go very much/at all in the first weeks.

He can nearly all the things listed his birthday is December? Do they still do things like half days the first week and parents staying for lunch with them

Whether they do half days or staggered starts will depend on the school. But there's absolutely no chance they will let parents stay for lunch.

@lisa270988 , the first weeks vary by school regarding half days and staggered starts. Our village school did half days and didn't even take the spring/summer birthday pupils until later in September after they'd settled the autumn term children. Parents did not stay for lunch.
I'd concentrate on making sure he can do the physical things: changing clothes, going to the loo, eating with full sized cutlery, sitting 'nicely on his bottom' on the rug for a story, waiting his turn.

This will be school dependent. Many here now don't do half days because all the children are used to being in for often longer days at nursery.

I've never known a school let parents stay for lunch, that wasn't even a thing when I was a child.

It's a huge issue.

Kids of 3+ are usually interested in pretend play, in building with blocks, magnatiles, etc, in using writing materials to make meaningful marks. Kids of 18 months are not there at all. They will often find joy in knocking down structures a 3yo has taken time and effort to build. They will scribble over something the 3yo is writing. They will come up and grab a truck or dolly a 3yo is using in a pretend game. They will mess up a puzzle the 3yo is working on.

At circle/ rug/ story/ group time, the teacher's attention will often be taken up with redirection of 18 m old toddlers who are running off, punching each other, chewing their own shoes, etc. A story or song can fall completely by the wayside.

It can be incredibly frustrating for a 3+ year old.

Thanks this is what was Happening and why he didn't like it

OP, preschool and a preschool group are 2 different things. Preschool room in a nursery, or a standalone council run pre school follow early years curriculum, and most parents know waiting list are 18months plus so usually you get your child on the waiting list as soon as possible, I put my son on the waiting list while I was pregnant for him to start at nursery at 8 months.

To your question about school, you need to be strong at drop off, you will have to get him in the classroom and then walk away. You need to be prepared that school is very different to a nursery/preschool, you'll get told very little about their day.

All of my DCs started in kindergarten (in the US) at age 5 after one year of preschool that was 2.5 hours a day, four days a week.

They had done a few classes designed for preschoolers where they they were dropped off for an hour or so - crafting, painting, obstacle course fun in the local gymnastics center, simple baking classes, beginning ice skating, baby ballet, for example.

You could try finding drop off classes for specific ages for your DS. He would experience the joys of a class with peers and would also learn that you return at pickup time.

I also think OP you need to focus on getting yourself ready to hand him over, you can't be emotional in front of him. You need to be positive about the school. When you chose his school and did your choices, you must have gone to open days? Asked about their settling periods, etc? Some schools are straight in full time on day 1 others are staggered over a couple of weeks. I've never known parents be allowed in

Once he sees that the class of peers is run in an orderly way, and that he can focus without having to look over his shoulder constantly for disruption, he will take to school like a duck to water.

I have a theory that oldest children in families where there is a small age gap relish school more than others precisely because there are no little brothers and sisters frustrating them in the classroom.

Of course it's not all smooth sailing (there will be a certain amount of disruption), but once he has confidence in the teacher and his brain is engaged in the curriculum, he will enjoy school.