Am I missing something - childcare.

[Halie]

I'm currently on mat leave and thinking about what will happen once mat leave ends.

Initially, I planned to return to my job, but currently I'm struggling with how that would work financially. As well as that, I feel very negatively about putting baby into childcare / nursery aged 1. I know it works for some and that's great but for me it's going completely against my instincts especially with the things I read on the news about nurseries.

If I put my child in nursery it's approx £200 per week locally, so £800 per month. We're a 2 income home, but to simplify it, that leaves me with about £1000 left of my wage. However, if I quit my job I can look after my child myself and according to online calculators I would get approx £900 in universal credit and £100 child benefit.

Am I missing something? Why would I go back to work to pay for a stranger to take care of my child when I can leave, do it myself and have a similar income?

What are other people without a village doing and what led to your decisions?

But that's ridiculously naive and unrealistic (and NHS is not "highly employable", loads of issues with highly qualified prople being unable to secure jobs.) And the NHS pension she is missing out on is worth a fortune, tens, if not hundreds of thousands of pounds in retirement.

But she'd rather bring up her child on benefits than keep working in her currently secure job, develop her career and benefit from probably the best pension available in the UK. Insane. The child will be the one who suffers in the long run.

You will get a thread full of people insisting that women work full time and never do anything else. I think that everyone should choose do what suits thier own family and circumstances. My only issue with your plan is that you are planning to be on benefits - which I think should only be used as a short term thing to tide people over as they look for work or long term if disability means they cant work in any capacity - but that is probably a different thread!

I gave up my job when I had kids - I worked part time inbetween 3 periods of year long maternity leaves and actually meant that I brought home a greater net income than if I worked full time and paid for childcare! It was a joint decision between DH and I - We wanted to a parent to be bringing up the children rather than childcare and we have always had completely joint finances so that was not an issue for me.
Once my youngest started school I dropped my couple of evening a week and worked school hours, increasing slightly as they got older and now they are older teens I work full time.

I obviously did not progress in a career during the 7 years I was 'only' a waitress but I do not regret spending that time with my kids. I now have a good career which I am happy with.

So annoying isn’t it?
people should not be allowed to voluntarily give up work to then claim benefits.
different if ill health, disabled child, caring responsibilities necessitates giving up.
why on earth should benefits be paid just because someone wants to be a SAHM. My mum never worked, my dad had to work to fund that choice

I was in the fortunate position to be able to send my child to a Montessori nursery and pick up her up at 2:30 every day. She loved it there and we still had lots of time in the afternoon together

Remember your employer contributes to your pension as well, so if you’re planning to top up missed contributions you’d want to consider topping up those missed contributions too, so another £200 a month.

If she is a high earner she almost certainly will make it up later. As a lawyer but working part time and spending about five years out of the profession on mat leave and career breaks when DDs were small, I only started properly contributing to my workplace pension from the age of 43, but it will be quite healthy by the time I retire.

If you can afford to take this path they do so by all means, OP. I don't regret the time I had with DDs when they were little and would have taken more time out if I could. A period working for myself made me so much more confident when I went back to the workplace and I found that after a couple of years back I had my pick of jobs and had three different offers to choose from when I went for my current role.

And we didn't claim any benefits other than child benefit. When I went back to work I stopped claiming that as I earned too much.

I liked my job (as in the specific place of work and team) and didn't want to give that up. The years go by quickly and now he's started school I'm very glad I didn't.

The other thing you're perhaps missing is other people, even on a similar salary to you, might have more savings. If so, they're not entitled to UC.

I do think you should proceed with caution as the higher earner. It also doesn't have to be all or nothing. If you can drop down to part time and your partner dropped a day you might only need to use a nursery/childminder for minimal hours.

Could you look at reducing hours- I have dropped from 37.5hrs to 34hrs with no drop in pay (I just pay slightly less tax, ni and pension). And I get one day at home (work 4 x 8.5hr shifts).... In terms of coming back to the NHS noone quite knows what the future holds as for lots of depts if you leave the post isn't being replaced (at least in our 3 local trusts).... Also the use of agency is being reduced massively

As a nurse OP, I imagine you have options for work outside of standard hours. What about a few hours a week around DHs hours, if your concern is childcare? It's not all or nothing.

you leave for a few years - you are not highly employable - why would they chose you instead of someone with more recent experience !

Don't kid yourself that you'll pay back into your pension to make up for missed years - and you will never get the employer contribution back!

I’ve been retired for several years and am obviously very naive about the benefit system. I stayed at home until youngest was 5 which is what most people did many years ago, we just lived very frugally on one income. I had no idea you could decide not to work and get benefits from the state as well as it losing tax contributions. No wonder the coffers are empty! By all means stay with your child but should the state pay you to do do?

NHS pension doesn't work like that, you can't pay extra in future to offset years out.

Why would you have a child with a man who earns next to minimum wage? I don’t understand this.

If you are the main earner and your husband earns just above minimum wage, would it not make more sense if you dont want the child to be in nursery for him to stop working and you go back to work (as you earn more than him).

The second paragraph of this summarises my reasons too. Returning to work also kept up my NI and pension contributions, maintained my professional registration and meant that I actually had an identity other than DS’s mum (Of course I adore my DC, but I value my professional persona). I knew I was not cut out to be a SAHM by the time DS was 6 months old!

Blimey. Just because a guy earns minimum wage doesnt mean he will be a shit dad.

She's not a high earner. She takes home £1800 a month for full time work. And instead of developing/building her career, she wants to opt out, deskill and stop contributing to the very generous NHS pension scheme and instead live on benefits.

If you read the thread there are loads of people that suggest that the OP works part time. You say the only issue is the benefits, but it doesn’t sound like they can afford for her to give up work unless she goes on UC.

If you have a job in high demand, go part time.

1 year olds need A LOT of activities and taking out.

If you could do half days at nurseries or only 2 or 3 days, you get best of both worlds.

I also found it harder being at home as time went on. If your baby isn't walking yet, you won't understand. But genuinely, mine started walking at 10 months and it suddenly became very hard work. Can't even pee without him there, can't shower unless someone else watches him, constantly getting into danger etc. Yes, we baby proofed but I can't baby proof the kitchen to the extent needed to make a sandwich in peace for example.

I'd genuinely be mortified to ask this question, benefits should be for those who need them not for people who cant be arsed to work

Also, kids need you MORE as they get older. When they're small, you are, to an extent, replaceable. But when they're at school, they need YOU.

You can't be putting in long days 5 days a week when they're in primary school. Well, you can of course, but it's harder not easier.

So it's much wiser to build experience and money now.

Well I think you should do it. If you can survive on your dh wage. I plan to do the same with my kids when we have them. I would rather have the money muself then pay for someone I don’t know or trust to look after my child. Those first few years you’ll never get back.

Whose money to yourself?
Your family money earned by the working partner?
or benefits?

It really is a difficult decision. I was the higher earner in our house and returned to work full time after our first children. However, we had twins last year, and we live in Wales. Paying for 3 children to have full-time childcare would have completely wiped out my wages. I've decided not to return until my 2 year old is 3 and is entitled to some funded hours. We are still entitled to some UC top up but are in a much more stable position financially with me not returning. When I do return, it will be part-time because the 20% tax free is capped, and for twins, I would be going to work full time for about 120 a month.
There are downfalls, such as the motherhood penalty.

FFS - this takes the biscuit. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should - what a piss take.