I'm worried that our explanation of menopause scared our daughter

[menopausalmom2025]

My husband and I are both 47. Our youngest child is a 6 year old girl. I was red and sweating like crazy because of a hot flash when my husband and daughter came in. She asked if I'm sick and my husband told her "No honey, mommy going through menopause. It's a natural thing that happens to women at this age. That explains why mommy gets hot sometimes and why she gets those cute chin hairs that she plucks out. Sweetie, a long time from now, you'll go through the same thing."

I was too busy feeling like I was on fire to help in that conversation. I know that sometimes parents give explanations on topics, like periods, that unnecessarily freak kids out. I'm worried that we gave a very bad explanation.

Is she scared?
Why would it have scared her?
She's your daughter, if she'd scared, comfort her.
She won't be scared - she won't have had a clue what your DH was on about.
Perhaps just say you're hot in future until she's let's say 10ish and old enough to have some sort of grip on what the blooming 'eck you're talking about.

I really think you’re overthinking it @menopausalmom2025 ! A 6 year old is way more likely to think oh I’ll get chin hairs oooh where is my chocolate than omg I’ve got 40 years till I feel like shit… oh no what shall I do ….

we all say random things at times rarely does a one off comment scar our children for life

Thank you. I can be an overthinker

Oh and def get some hrt if the hot flushes are that bad at 46!!!!

She just stared at us with wide eyes and she touched her own chin.
She didn't have anything to say about it afterwards.

Utterly bizarre.

With all due respect at 6 you should've definitely just passed it off as feeling a bit hot. Too young to understand menopause when hasn't even started puberty or periods yet. Way too much.

She wasn't interested. I'd just forget all about it.

My husband said something stupid.

I don't want to make this whole thread about me defending my husband. The man had an off-day. Just because we're parents doesn't mean we say the best things 100 % of the time.

Thank you, I understand. I'll overthinking this.

Your daughter will probably have forgotten it by now. And there is literally no way menopause can be explained to a 6 year old, unless they’re a scientific prodigy.

Just try and be a bit more guarded in front of your young child in future.

If someone truly thinks there is something wrong with my marriage or our parenting style, I'll listen as long as it's respectful serious comments that are willing to engage in an actual conversation.

I've been through the menopause and I've never had a chin hair or a hot flush. I think the horror stories about all the inevitable things that are going to happen, but don't happen to everyone, are grim for adults but totally unnecessary for a six year old.

I don’t understand the problem here? I’ve always tried to give honest answers to any questions my DC have asked about things like this when they have asked them. Periods, sex, puberty etc. Memorably had to explain abortion during the school run!

Not sure your DH’s explanation was that clearly but at least he was trying, I don’t believe that children are ever too young to be told about these things, you just have to adapt the explanation for their ages.

People are having an actual conversation with you OP.
What do you want from this thread?

Well yes I think you are overthinking it and he was over explaining it. I'd just let it go now unless she seems upset at the thought of having hot flushes and chin hair.

I agree, I thought it was funny 🤣

FLIRTING?! That isn't flirting. That's just... grim.

But OP is having hot flushes and getting chin hairs, it’s not like they’re just randomly introducing the topic, they are answering a reasonable question from their DD about what is happening to her mum

If I was worried about a friend's marriage or parenting style, this is not how I would address it. I would give long careful explanations of what I'm concerned about. Not just calling them bizarre nor making jokes that she should stop explaining things to their kids.

This is such a weird conversation to have with a 6 year old. I dread to think how the pair of you will tackle the conversation around periods

I’ve not been through menopause and I’ve had many chin hairs. It’s like everyone is different isn’t it?

Shes six, far to young to understand stuff like this. Your husband is just weird for saying that.

Isn't it just! 😀

Oh dear god