I'm worried that our explanation of menopause scared our daughter

[menopausalmom2025]

My husband and I are both 47. Our youngest child is a 6 year old girl. I was red and sweating like crazy because of a hot flash when my husband and daughter came in. She asked if I'm sick and my husband told her "No honey, mommy going through menopause. It's a natural thing that happens to women at this age. That explains why mommy gets hot sometimes and why she gets those cute chin hairs that she plucks out. Sweetie, a long time from now, you'll go through the same thing."

I was too busy feeling like I was on fire to help in that conversation. I know that sometimes parents give explanations on topics, like periods, that unnecessarily freak kids out. I'm worried that we gave a very bad explanation.

Weird

I'll bite that this is a genuine thread.

I think people are having a strange reaction because everyone has a level of comfort vs need for privacy around things like plucking chin hairs. I've been through the menopause and did have hot flushes until I knocked them on the head with HRT, but not chin hairs. If I had, I suspect I would have dealt with them in the privacy of my bathroom with the door closed. If your mileage varies around things like that, it's fine.

But I know I had a sort of visceral reaction to your husband jumping in with that as one of the principal drivers of his explanation of menopause because it's pretty tangential. I also found the 'cute' a bit off. When posters mentioned this, you said it was part of his 'flirting game,' at which point it all seemed weirder because explaining life stages to a six year old and flirting games really don't go together in any way. I think it also seemed a bit odd to have a man, who is not going through it, take the lead on the explanation.

That said, I actually would go back and have a conversation with your DD. I also remember things from when I was six and I think it would be a good idea to make sure there isn't anything that stuck with her that might be concerning. Honestly, I would read a little on an age appropriate way to talk about periods and childbearing years and menopause as life stages that we all go through but react to differently - and by the time she goes through it, who knows what options there will be. I don't think we have any real idea of what the menopause will be like in half a century.

Good luck OP.

Yes - and even if it wasn’t a textbook explanation at least he had a go. Hopefully he’s equally willing to get involved in conversations about periods, sex etc. it’s great if girls can feel comfortable talking to their dad’s about sanpro, period cramps etc.

OP if you haven’t already maybe it’s worth having a chat with your DH and agree roughly how you’re going to talk about topics like this in an age appropriate way.

I always think the best thing is to deal with them when the conversation naturally comes up but it helps to have an idea of age-appropriate scripts and it’s good for you both to be on the same page.

I’m peri menopausal and get loads of chin hairs mainly white, my dh might say something about it in a fond way it’s not grim it’s life I have chin hairs he’s my husband he’s not saying I am gross and like a man and need I to shave.
Would he say something in front of our daughters? Maybe but they are 25 and we talk about all sorts. I told my son about periods when he was 7 because he asked about sanitary towels in the bathroom, he looked slightly traumatised but had no lasting effects he’s very well adjusted 11 years later.