My 7 year old daughter is indirectly asking me about my obesity

[littlepinkbow2025]

My 7 year old daughter is an active girl at a healthy weight. Because of conscious decisions her father and I took while she was a baby, she actually likes healthy foods.

I'm unfortunately an obese mom. Recently, she has been indirectly asking me about my obesity and I'm scared to answer her questions. How a parent talks about one's own weight issues can seriously affect a child's body image. Any advice ?

Exactly this! Op you are shortening your life by eating this way , even your daughter can see what your eating is not healthy and if both she and her dad can eat healthy why cant you? The reason is because you make the choice to buy and eat the unhealthy stuff.its a food addiction and you need help to break it
I was in the same position years ago when my daughter was 2 .i lost over 9 stone in 3 years it was hard but i did it through changing my lifestyle and the way i cooked and i still stick to it.now.
Shes now 10.and ive kept it off , we all eat healthy and it is for life
I want my children to have their life with me.in.it
My mom died young and we all missed out on so much
Please get help OP your daughter will be so proud of you

i think you either need to embrace it and be open about it if youre quite happy with your body, or have you considered mounjaro? I take quite a low dose of it, because i still want to enjoy my food, but its really helped me with some of my fat related health issues

Have you read Ultra-processed People? It put me off ice-cream and Coke! Sweets and junk are designed to be addictive but you can break the habit.

There’s a book called Fat Talk: Parenting in the age of diet culture which raises some interesting points and ways to discuss size and bodies with your children. I will say some of it is a bit much, it’s largely for an American audience, but it’s really well written and researched.

I’ve been where you are - a year ago i weighed over 16 stone. I have two small kids, my partner works long shifts away from home and i was stress eating way more than i thought i was. Overall, i was active, was doing 10k steps plus a day, but i was exhausted, and as you say was sweaty at the slightest bit of exercise.

I started on mounjaro last October and it’s helped me change my life- i wish id made these changes sooner. I’ve completely changed my diet, upped my protein, track everything i eat most days. And make conscious decisions about what i eat- the mounjaro took the ‘noise away’ and made this way easier at the start.

i’ve lost 5 stone, go to the gym 3x a week and started running- i’d never made it to 5k even when i was lighter, but last month ran a half marathon. Ive honestly never felt better.

it sounds like you'd have the support of your partner (and daughter) if you wanted to start changing your diet, maybe try an app like myfitnesspal, speak to your partner about trying to change and see if he and your daughter can help you with meals and making the healthy food fun :)

if your not ready to change, then just answer her questions honestly - but you may get pushback if shes wondering why she doesnt get to eat the ‘unhealthy’ food more often

Get yourself on Mounjaro. You are a perfect candidate for it. It will silence all the stuff in your head that has got you to where you are today.

The need for a dopamine hit that you're trying to satisfy when you reach for the rubbish food? Silenced.

The feeling of missing out when your dinner is a 2 egg omelette and salad?
Nope!

The sense of deprivation when other people are stuffing their faces with cake and chocolate in front of you?
Gone!

The terrible feeling of demotivation when you've been starving yourself for weeks, you still look the same and the scales stop moving?
Not happening.

Within a couple of months you'll be 2 stone down and already feeling better.

Not going to promise there won't be yucky side effects, it is possible that it won't agree with you, it's not 'easy' or magic and you can't carry on eating crap and the fag melts off, but it absolutely is the difference between failure and success for many, many people.

You'll learn to make better choices, eat smaller portions and stop when you've eaten enough.

Just do it!!

Some of the comments on here are wild. If it was as easy as ‘just eat what they are eating’ then there would be no obesity problems in this country. I had this with my DD, I should add I have since lost weight, but I was obese most of DDs life. I was honest with her, I don’t eat healthily, eat too much and I don’t exercise. I never related my size to my worth or my looks it was just a fact and something that had an effect on my health. She is happy I am ‘healthier’ but has never commented on how I look, never once said I look ‘better’

This resonates with me.as I’ve felt the shame. I’ve been obese for a few years and used to start a diet then give up and hate myself even more.
Ive lost 2 stone in 2 1/2 months this summer on Mounjaro. I know the meds have done a lot of the work but for the first time I feel like I’ve accomplished something!
The shame is a vicious cycle. Get rid of it and tell yourself you are doing something good, healthy and positive because you deserve good things.
Track food on an app religiously.
Go for walks.
Swim
Every few pounds will be an achievement in the right direction. Think how pleased you will be when you lose that first stone . I’ve just bought a lovely dress two sizes smaller and it looks really nice. You can do this too. Good luck

I place value in my looks.
But when I talked to my daughter last night and this morning, I avoided that. Somethings I told her is that mommy has made a lot of unhealthy choices but she's trying to be healthier.

Be honest with her. Say her and daddy eat really healthily so that keeps them fit and trim. That you know you should eat healthily like them but you find it really difficult but keep trying as you know it is good for you.

There is nothing wrong with children knowing that sometimes life is a struggle!

That sounds really good as a starting place. Well done, OP.

About 8 years back i got rather big. I had always been slim before hand. I started to worry my daughter would get taunted because of my weight, so i made healthy food choices and lost it all. I used to get comments when I was at school about my father who was overweight...the comments hurt me very much. You know what to do..

I totally get how hard this is. My daughter started living like I was. She put on weight. Wanted to eat much more. She and friends noticed I was so big, I couldn't play with her. Things had got bad and I ended up having a gastric sleeve in June. Im now re learning how to eat and starting to really enjoy exercise. I'll never tell her what I did but I hope she'll start copying my new, better habits instead and never get like I was.

when she asked I was honest: I'm big because I'm unhealthy and I don't want that for you because it's hard.

I think you're in denial of the fact that what you do, and the state of health that results in, is more important than what you say to her about it. Do what I say, not what I do doesn't work. You could say all the right things, but you are actively modelling a lifestyle that leads to obesity. Accepting that in your own mind might make changing feel more possible.

Don’t you like living a long and healthy life to spend with your daughter?

I’m interested in what your husband thinks of your weight and if he’s encouraging you to be healthier.

I gained weight after having my kids more so my daughter and I recently lost 4st. I had to work bloody hard to do it. I love biscuits and cake and cutting them out has been the hardest thing but I dont want to be obese anymore.

I'm very careful to remove any moral element, and I make it very clear that when we think about all the different things that add up to make someone a "good person", their weight doesn't factor in at all.

I also explain that even adults don't always make good choices all the time. Some people struggle to sit nicely on the carpet during phonics, some people struggle to share and take turns, some people struggle to keep their hands to themselves when they're angry (these are all things my daughter struggles with!) and some people struggle with making healthy food choices. But we do our best and we keep trying 🤷‍♀️

When I went to Weight Watchers 35 years ago I really re educated my palate. I'll never forget being in a cafe and saying to my friend that this was the first time I had chosen something other than chips because I genuinely fancied quiche and salad.

There are really healthy options that taste as good as the naughty stuff you love. Full fat Greek yoghurt, blueberries, honey and pecan nuts for example tastes as good as cake! Frozen kefir tastes just like ice cream.

Have you tried eating what they eat? If so, what happens? How fo you feel?

I also like sweets and greasy foods, but I have been working on eating healthier. Add spices to your foods, use an airfyer, find low calorie snacks that you like. My go to at the moment is seaweed snacks.

Kind of annoyed at the responses asking you the questions your daughter is. Obviously not the point of your post.
As someone who is 10 out of 30 kg down, I get it. I get the liking greasy and sweet stuff. I get the cycle. The main question above all others right now u need to ask yourself is if you want it to be different. If you do then use this as a positive to get you started. Not as shame. U don't have to give up any foods. U don't need to launch into an intense exercise regime. You begin slowly. I love nothing more than a domino's, the couch and a good show. But believe or not I actually like working out now too. And I still have those nights with my pizza too.

You can learn to like other foods and live a healthier lifestyle.
It's not easy to do but can become a habit if you try.
If it would make your child happier It's definitely worth it.

How did you do it?
Absolutely amazing weightloss you should be proud of yourself 💐

Not sure this is a genuine post, "I like eating greasy foods" said no one ever.