Dd is coming home from university tomorrow and I’m so excited but ds isn’t because

[AgileTealSnake]

My Dd has graduated from university a week ago she studied English and I am very proud of her .

Ds is 13 and isn’t happy that she is coming home tomorrow he has been shouting at me constantly because he has to go back to share with 11 year old brother.
as she is coming back tomorrow he said why can’t she share with him I need my own room still I told him it’s because she is older than both of them and she needs privacy.

he said so do I I don’t want to share with him he is weird and he used all my stuff last time he goes on my phone and goes through my messages!!!I am not sharing with him end of story he said.

He has no choice I am not having his little brother share with his big sister in her 20s .

No because it would be more than a little scar

So you think a "little scar" is acceptable to appease his brother and sister...

As if.

I don't think AI but the drip feeding of new and worse information each post is gold star troll worthy. Next my poor 13 year old has a hard time because he doesn't get along with my boyfriend.

Wish you luck op. I do think you really need to listen to your son when he says his bed is too small. He was pprobably even smaller when he's said that. I understand the juggling is hard but he does sound the furthest down the pecking order. You didn't want to change the bed as the youngest liked it, it does seem somewhat as his preferences come last. Hopefully a new bed will make him happier.

“May well be step siblings”. How do you figure that one out? The OP says it’s her daughter and the 13 yo is her son so no they wouldn’t be step siblings. Step siblings are not biologically related to each other.
And you think he will move out when he’s 16? To where?

It’s “does” not “dose”. You seem able to spell “doesn’t” but not “does”.

If you’re renting I suggest you ask for some board from your DD who I assume will be getting a job now she has finished her degree, and even minimum wage will allow her to pay that, save and live. Also your boyfriend pay towards the family income if he is staying over. Then rent a 4 bed.

Or if you own, fund an extension/loft extension.

In 5 years time with your DS is an adult you can’t expect him to be sharing with a child. DD might not be home by then as saving up will take some time.

This comes from having 3 children. Some kids don’t like having siblings foisted on them. Does your son have room to do his homework in between all the computer games being played with by his younger brother?

Boys should share the larger room.

On that's been bugging me too 😂

There is only 2 years between 11 and 13. Time to sit down with both boys and have a serious adult chat with them. The older one should never have been allowed access to daughter's room or you should have moved both boys into bigger room and daughter into smaller. Can't your 13 year old put a lock on his phone?

Take the older child’s phone away at bedtime for a start! He shouldn’t be on his phone when he’s going to sleep.

It sounds like the 11 year old has not been.given.boundaries. He needs telling and punishing for any infringement.

When i came back from uni.had to share with mom- did not stay home long

I was going to suggest you move downstairs and get a sofa bed so they could all have their own rooms, but maybe not if your boyfriend lives with you. Not much you can do really, he is going to have to suck it up. Most young people come home after uni now and can’t move out for some time. I can understand why they don’t like sharing, but inappropriate for DD to share with the 11yr old. You do need to take a hard line though on him breaking his things. Hope he paid for the PS5 he broke.

This is true. So many kids sleep deprived due to this. I used to see kids falling asleep in.class- recent phenomenon. It doesn't solve issue with 11 y old.

This is unfair, you should give the larger room to the two who have to share.

The 13yo is getting a very poor deal.

Why are people so rude to posters? This boy just has to share a room, you’d think OP was making him sweep all the floors 24hrs a day the responses on here. If he has a cut on his head then he needs to be more careful. Surely a 13yr old can get out of bed without bumping his head, you’d learn after the first couple of times surely? Plenty of DC share. In the world of mumsnet everyone has a massive room but that isn’t what always happens in the real world. Some DC share with multiple siblings. It doesn’t make you a terrible mother OP that 2 same sex siblings with 2yrs between them have to share a room.

Really don’t get the AI comments too, are we going to get that on every post now, as it seems like that. So what if people use chat GPT to help them write posts on public forums. If you were a troll and wanted to make something up, you’d go for something a bit more exciting than a 13yr old not wanting to share a room. Sure it’s annoying, but it doesn’t make you a bad parent OP.

Ignore the perfect parents on here who are making you feel bad. Talk about kicking someone when they are down.

100% agree. There's been many of these lately - with the user name pattern too. I've noticed that some use really obvious mistakes but different mistakes in each thread - maybe to throw us off and appear to be a different poster?

No wonder your DS is angry about this - why didn’t you make the youngest son sleep on
the bottom bunk in this situation. Can you sleep somewhere else- can DD share with you?

I have noticed a trend of room sharing threads where the parent is unreasonable in some way and posters always pile on and tell her to sleep on the sofa so everyone can have their own room (like that doesn't have major downsides as well, and I don't just mean for the parent; not having the lounge usable may not be an improvement on having the kids sleeping in the same room and having a separate space for them to do other things. Especially if one DS likes to watch TV: he can do that in the lounge!)

Someone blithely saying you have to move or put on an extension? Check!

Room sharing was the norm for a very long time and it's not the worst thing for children. OP's real issue is that she's not dealt properly with the conflict between 11 & 13yos and made sure 13yo's belongings are kept safe.

And in this economy telling oldest to move out is much easier said than done. I could easily afford a house share on my starting wage over 25 years ago, I know many people who couldn't now.

But how many room sharing children are forced to sleep on a bottom bunk underneath their younger beds wetting sibling??

At 13 he deserves some privacy so if course he is annoyed especially as it's for the foreseeable future. It would perhaps help if you empathised with him a bit.

When did the boyfriend move in op?

Do you have an attic rom or basement that could be used as a bedroom?