Dd is coming home from university tomorrow and I’m so excited but ds isn’t because

[AgileTealSnake]

My Dd has graduated from university a week ago she studied English and I am very proud of her .

Ds is 13 and isn’t happy that she is coming home tomorrow he has been shouting at me constantly because he has to go back to share with 11 year old brother.
as she is coming back tomorrow he said why can’t she share with him I need my own room still I told him it’s because she is older than both of them and she needs privacy.

he said so do I I don’t want to share with him he is weird and he used all my stuff last time he goes on my phone and goes through my messages!!!I am not sharing with him end of story he said.

He has no choice I am not having his little brother share with his big sister in her 20s .

Not in either room? It would make sense for the two sharing to have the bigger room.

Do you have a separate lounge? Could your dd go in there ? If she’s moving out again as soon as she can, then it would only be temporary.
I really feel for your 13 year old .

3 neuro diverse kids were the reason I as a single parent slept on a sofabed in the lounge for years when they became too big to share rooms and my marriage ended.
I didn't mind and it gave them all the individual space they needed.
I do finally now have my own bedroom as the middle child has long since moved away and now sleeps on the sofa bed during their brief visits home. My friends thought I was a doormat but I knew it was the best option for us.

Dd has lots of stuff it wouldn’t fit in the small room half of her stuff was in the room when she went to uni as I had nowhere to put it

The two sharing need to have the bigger room. She needs to slim down her stuff to fit the space available - not have her brothers crammed in the smaller room.

I can do the tv thing and what a great idea when they shared before I brought 13 year old ds a ps5 when they first came out and 11 year old ds broke it the day after I will make sure he leaves 13 year old ds’s stuff alone he doesn’t sound comfortable about it as it is

this, with the other stuff, paints your 11yo in an appalling light. No wonder the 13yo doesn't want to share with him.

I could sleep on the sofa but I would rather all of us have a bedroom and I not have to as I am not on my own my boyfriend lives with us

No wonder your son is pissed off. DD’s “stuff” takes priority over him? He sounds like Harry Potter in the under stairs cupboard!

@AgileTealSnake which is the bigger room, hers or the shared room? I wouldnt be expecting a 13 year old to sleep in a bunk bed!! sorry but daughter needs to have the smallest room so the boys can at least have a proper single bed on the floor!!!! if daughter's room is bigger than the boys room then they need to swap rooms. she will just have to get rid of some of her stuff.

Her room is a tiny bit bigger my room is the smallest I have a double bed and a small wardrobe as that’s all what fits

So you’ve got rid of your son’s bed. Because it won’t fit but your DD is coming home to the biggest room and all
her stuff??
This is not a fair allocation of the space in your house.
DD has the smaller room to herself. She gets rid of some of the ‘stuff’!
Two boys share the bigger room. Preferably with a bed situation suitable for an adult man as this is nearly what your middle
son is. Another couple of years and he’ll be a 6 foot lad squeezed into a child’s bed!

Your oldest daughter needs to deal with the smallest room even if that means getting rid of most of her things. If the brothers are sharing, they need the biggest space.

Also, look into two lofted beds instead of bunk beds. That way they aren’t literally on top of one another and have a space underneath that is their own.

@AgileTealSnake if daughter's room is bigger than the boys room then they need to swap rooms. she will just have to get rid of some of her stuff.

That's what we have for the two who have to share. My adult DS has the box room and the two younger ones have the big room with their beds and a den each underneath. They are not allowed in each other's den except by invitation.

OP you sound determined not to consider how your 13 year old is feeling. He will outgrow the bunk bed so will need a larger bed at some point and your DD won't need so many things now she's not studying but he'll need study space.
The boys need the bigger room.

I agree with the last few posters. If the boys have to share, they get the biggest room. And DD either pays for a cheap storage unit or declutters her stuff. Of course she's not going to like it but it's a pretty small compromise compared to your 13 yo who's losing his room and having to share with his brother again.

In fact, if it was me, I'd take the opportunity to reclaim my home and swap all the rooms around and put her in the smallest room that you're currently sleeping in. You and bf in the middle room and the boys in the largest room.

The 13yo seems to get ignored in this set up whilst his 2 siblings get and can do what they want

Sorry but you are being really unreasonable here

your daughter gets the smaller room the two boys had and they share her room as it’s bigger. That’s only fair then you try and split the room as others have said if she has lots of stuff she goes through it and gets rid of stuff or finds some storage solutions for the smaller room

no wonder the kids mad as having to share the smallest room again when his sister gets the larger room on her own

in fact I don’t know why the boys didn’t always have the larger room

Her room must be a good bit bigger if fitted the 13yo's double bed and all of the stuff she left that couldn't go anywhere else yet the boys room can't fit bunks with a double on the bottom...

You are being unfair with the room allocation.

The boys sharing should have the bigger room. If DD has too much 'stuff', too bad; she'll have to figure it out or get rid of some of it.

The younger brother should not be allowed to monopolize the tv/playstation/whatever in the shared room and break his brother's things without serious consequences. He's well old enough to know better.

Maybe boyfriend needs to move back out so they can each have their own rooms and you can sleep in the living room.

What living rooms do you have? Someone may have a brilliant design solution. 13yo is definitely getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop right now.

he used to tell me all the time that the bed was to small but his brother didn’t want another one that’s why we still have it now his brother loves it 13 year old ds has a red cut a little one on his head from getting out that bed every day.

I have 1 living room it’s pretty big though

It clearly doesn't matter to you what the 13-year-old wants so I'm not sure why you even posted.

It dose I love my little lad and it dose