Is 35 too old to have a baby?

[Poodlezzz]

Thinking energy wise, health issues, not having a huge multi generational age gap as they grow, being an old grandparent, and other practicalities….

I think 35 is fine its really down to you.
I mean for me 35 would be my cut off but others have babies in their 40s some times 45 plus.

Nope. I’m 40 and scheduled for IVF.

My great aunt had her first and only at 46. She thought she was going through the menopause so didn’t think anything of the missed periods. It was the 1950s like. Anyway she went the loo with stomach pains and gave birth. Baby was fine.

I was 40 when I had my one and only dc. All good! Still have 2 sets of active grandparents, dh and I are in good health, we're financially comfortable, and had all our 20s and 30s free. Go for it.

Also my man was a grandmother in her 40s when she had her last child. She was actually pregnant at the same time as her daughter who was married an early 20s and having her 2nd. My nan had 8 children across 25 years or so.

Hope not, as I’m 39 and about to have one!

Wow, snarky.

The poster said for her.

I had dc2 at 38 and I said that was my cut off. Yes, it was 'lovely' I suppose l could make that decision after 2 mc and the effects ttc were having on me.

Some were raising grandchildren but there were plenty of natural conceptions too.

My husband is into genealogy and found a late 40s pregnancy in his family tree. The amount of DNA shared by the woman’s children supports her being the mother of all of them.

My grandmother was 44 when she had my mother. I have not been so lucky and have had to go down the IVF route. Obviously I would have chosen to gave them earlier in my late 30s but infertility and delays due to COVID meant that life didn’t work out that way.

Nope. I was 34 and 36. It was fine. Wouldnt have wanted to be nearer to 45 though.

Everyone’s different obviously but I would say that late 40s and early 50s is when you notice you get more tired. It’s nice if you can plan it so that by the time you’re 50 your kids are teens or at least into secondary school. You don’t want to be running around after little children at 50 I would say!

Depends how many you want really…if you’re looking to field a footie team, then you’ve probably not started early enough. 2 or 3 and you’re fine.

42 and having my first and only one here! Very glad I’ve taken the time and effort to understand myself, build a deep and meaningful relationship with my husband (mostly based on puerile fart jokes, not gonna lie) and develop my career to a point that I take a break without being too adversely affected. Will I be tired - yes, indubitably. Will it be difficult to be an older grandparent or not be around at all for their children? Yeah, I can see that. But am I less likely to blithely pass down the generational trauma in our family and raise happier, mentally healthier kids than I would have done a decade ago? Definitely! (Please note - I’m not saying every 32yo would raise less happy and mentally unhealthier kids…I’m speaking specifically about me and what I would have done a decade ago!).

I was 35 and 37. Yes, the tiredness hits you more than a 21 year old (I'd imagine). But you're likely more financially secure to be able to therefore source help to cope with this.

Don’t be daft. I had my second at 42. Perfectly normal easy pregnancy and birth.

Seriously? So many people are having babies mid to late 30’s. It’s not a new thing. Weird question TBH. But I’ll play along. Had my first at 35 almost 36 and 2nd at 38. As did all my friends and ours aren’t the youngest. Energy wise - yeah I’m exhausted. I have a professional FT job. That’s the juggle. We are the sandwich generation so yeah, young kids and elderly grandparents. Also exhausting. But, did I have a wonderful time before they came? Yes! And now it’s a new wonderful.

What part of me personally did you not understand

I had my sixth at 36 and my seventh at 38. Pregnancies absolutely floored me but that might have been to do with all my other children needing me 24/7.

Yes exactly, the oh I thought it was the menopause baby! I know quite a few

No i wouldn't of had children at 35 if I hadn't had kids by then but again thats my personal choice. I focused on a family over a career as thats what was, and is important to me. I wanted kids in my 20s so thats what I did and im glad I did as im now nearly 40 and getting my independence back and love it. All my friends also had their kids in teens and 20s so their kids are also grown. So its great as a group to be at the same stage of life together. The thought of going back to sleepless nights and tantrums sounds like hell. Holidays,nights out, concerts, bbq, games nights, going to shows, comedy gigs etc is exactly how I want to be spending my time now. But again like I said this is my personal choice

Agree. It's totally different if you haven't met someone.

It's too young !

Not at al. That’s a normal age

OP 35 is ideal in many demographics around the country and if you do the maths you will not be an old grand parent.

My only was born when I was in my 40s. The energy levels discussions some people instigated were utterly ridiculous. It's just not like that.

Sorry but that’s ridiculous. Higher rusk, yes. Not high risk. (I had my sons at 41 and 43. Both fine). Your comment is heavy with unspoken judgment.

Twenty somethings are often like teenagers in terms of need for sleep. 30 plus is better

God why so judgy. Lucky you to be able to have your kids younger - not a choice for everyone.

What a horrible rude thing to say. There are many reasons to parent later and none of them make us better or worse parents than those in their 20s or 30s. Honestly though, 45 mins out of London I hesitate to mention parents in their 20s as I've rarely met any