Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

[CAMO1984]

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

just pointing out that even when you claimed to have read it you still got it wrong, or am I not allowed to reply to specific posts and it’s just you who is? 🤔

This. I don't know why people are pretending this wouldn't be the situation. FIL & MIL should be free to enjoy their trip of a lifetime, it has nothing to do with how much they love their grandchild

A 2yo is the worst age imo. Fully mobile, getting into everything and have a mind of their own, and you can't take your eyes off them for more than 2 seconds. On a huge ship you'd need to be very vigilant.

Which OP is going to have to do at home, whilst pregnant.

Mum goes, 2 year old can go.
Mum doesn't go, 2 year old can't go.

Just shows that even in 2025, we still haven't got very far have we?

And you're surprised why?

Presumably their home is somewhat toddler-proof, and she can be in another room doing other things while the toddler is sleeping. Not at all like a cruise ship and that's before you factor in the toddler being out of sorts away from their home comforts and possibly in a new time zone. Not to mention that norovirus, covid and RSV are rife on cruises.

@Sugarnspicenallthingsnaicethe cabins we were booked on had a double bed, seating area with large settee, a round table with chairs, tv and decent size bathroom. Also a balcony area with seating. If the girls were to go they said they would be upgraded to the same type on room with my partner and son (son being in travel cot) which included bunk beds so not cramped at all. My children are comfortable around my partner, they have grown up with him from a young age and this wouldn’t be an issue.
Either way none of my children are going on this trip so not really a problem now.

I have been in four berth cabins (on Carnival and Royal Caribbean FWIW) that had all the things you described and they're absolutely TINY - as I said, the bunk beds are within reach of each other and there's no way you could open the entry, bathroom or balcony door without disturbing everyone else, they're heavy doors and they're loud. Cruise lines employ all sorts of space saving cleverness to pack as many people into cabins as possible, and as many cabins as possible into the ship. You'd barely be able to move around with a travel cot in there as well.

@Sugarnspicenallthingsnaicethis type of space my be a problem for you and that’s your opinion, but it wouldn’t be for them. When we go on holiday we always share a room, not like that would be spending much time in there, it’s a room to sleep in.

You are still not getting this.

You can't go ...they don't want them without you there, they want to enjoy their holiday of a lifetime
Stop being so selfish!

@Maddy70at what point did I say I am still not getting this?. I told you all my situation and was asking for what people would if they were in my shoes. If you knew me then you would know I am the least selfish person and put everyone else before my, hence why I said for them all to go and me stay at home. I am taking the children away by myself now whilst they all still go and making the best of a sad situation

Your posts continue to defend why they should be going , cabin set up etc.

Move on from it. Let's hope your fil has a lovely holiday. You skI have a lovely time with your children and enjoy having them to yourself

@Maddy70no I don’t, I just answer peoples questions that’s all. Thank you for your input

I wouldn’t solely want to be responsible for a 2 year old on a cruise, that’s very different to both parents being there and to take turns. Also, now you aren’t going your 2 girls can’t be in a separate cabin, they would have to be in the room with someone else which again changes the whole dynamic.

It’s rubbish for your girls, but another holiday somewhere will make up for it!

I’d go anyway and just not mention how far along you are

I’m confused. At the start it seemed like your stepmothers bday, then moved on to what seemed like your partners dads birthday. And your 2 daughters would be going with their stepdad (your partner) then suddenly a son was involved who at first seemed like he was shared with your partner, then appeared to be only yours

@ladyamyi have already addressed several times I made a mistake on my first post by putting dads partner instead of partners dad. Sorry for the confusion. It is actually my partners dad, who I referred to as father in law x

@ladyamymy pregnancy was already declared at the time of booking and you need a fit to travel certificate from GP/Midwife at any stage of pregnancy up to 24 weeks which states how far along you are before you travel with them. We just didn’t read their policies and procedures before booking otherwise we obviously wouldn’t have booked this type of holiday x

I hope you’ve apologised to your fil for letting him book and pay for a holiday that had you done any research you would know you couldn’t go on

@LiquoriceAllsorts2it was him that actually booked and paid for it as a surprise for us all, we didn’t even know until he had booked it, he just rang and said pack your bags we are going on a cruise.. So maybe don’t assume before you know or asked for all the facts.

We did it many times and found it fine, no different to any other holiday with a 2 yo, I found that it felt safer IMO. I did say it wouldn't be great with 1 parent though.

I'm so sorry, you are handling the fact you can't go very well, its clear that your concern is more for your children who will now miss out on a holiday they were looking forward to. Your partner should have discussed with you first. Then explained to your girls why they can no longer go. He should see their disappointment. As for him being unwilling to look after his own child, but happy to leave his pregnant partner alone with three children while he swans off on a holiday, I'd be having serious words about his priorities! Yes he shouldn't miss out on his dad's birthday celebrations, but he clearly only wants the kids there if you're there to do the grunt work!!

I would no way have wanted my two year old to go on a cruise ship without me, even if dad was there. Lovely as my DH is he would have found it incredibly difficult to manage on his own and I would have been stressed about it the whole time. It's a very difficult age and really, what would he get out of it? It would just spoil the holiday for everyone. He is much better off at home. I wouldn't even have considered it.

Sounds like you’ve got a suitable solution, OP. Although, it sounds like it’ll be hard work, can you take another adult to help?

I think your partner also owes you a wee trip without the kids too, a spa weekend or something, as a thank you for enabling him to have the quality time with his parents on the cruise.

Yes, valid to be gutted for your girls, and for yourself.

It massively changed the dynamics, and yes, parental responsibility, but also just practical logistics, without you going. If your son still went, your partner would be spending every evening with him in the cabin, whereas if you were there, there would have been some turn taking, (I hope!)

Would your FIL really pay for all of his family including step children just for a random fun family holiday on other years?

If not, then this is a special birthday for him primarily, and he will want his adult son to be able to have some quality time with him without looking after a toddler on a ship alone. There’s nothing wrong with that. It is irrelevant that you would do things differently with your side of the family.

It might be disappointing for your older children, but that is not the major consideration on someone else’s holiday. You are making this all about them, when you need to recognise that the problem is your pregnancy is incompatible with the holiday. It is not your FIL or husband doing something that they shouldn’t.